Abigail spent the whole night in a daze. She sat on top of her blanket in a t-shirt and long pants, not sleeping or resting. Her skin hardened in goosebumps after the piercing cold air wrapped itself around her body for the past couple of hours. She hugged her knees tighter.
Tonight, she had decided to punish herself with the freezing temperature. Her mind ran rampant thinking about lots of things: the little power she held, the pampering she was given, the rules she had to live by, the people she had to be careful around, and the women in her life.
Her future was not hers to determine, so why would her past be unveiled without strings attached? She lived in such an intricate fabrication of relationships that had altered her behavior and thinking. In other words, a mask that she could not take off. How could she continue to bring herself to live like this?
She ran her hands up and down her arms. The meat on her isn't much and would not keep her warm. Did she deserve more punishment than this? Lose more of her humanity, her dignity, just so she could grasp onto a tiny bit of reality?
The helplessness of trying to discover her own past was so painstakingly impossible. What was it that they could be hiding? She couldn't help but ask herself over and over.
Sir Barrington. Her Father. John. Lucas.
Asher.
It was almost dawn when Abigail saw the sun break through the horizon. The rays shot out bright, accompanying the dark sky with dreams of purple, blue, red, and orange hues.
She got off her bed and went to the window.
The colors were magnificent. The sun was blinding but it was a soft tone that reminded her of the time they went to the beach. She suddenly remembered this was the same sun that lit the way for her thoughts after her Mother died, led her out of the darkness after Lucas climbed into her bed, and saved her from the nightmares of the bloody murder. And it will continue to give her what she needed.
Hope.
A miracle. The miracle that she could stand up, even alone. Stand up to represent herself. To reclaim who she really was. To be who she wanted to be. To be free.
Abigail clung onto that hope. She promised herself she would get to the bottom of it even if no one would let her. Would her Mother have wanted her to know also? How she was involved in her death.
She decided that it didn't matter what her Mother wanted. At this point, what mattered was what she wanted and nothing else.
Early in the morning after she finished her housekeeping duties, her plan was to find something in John's room that could lead her somewhere. She felt bad to take advantage of his absence but it was the best start she had.
John's room was slightly larger than hers. He loved the modern black theme and had his king-sized mattress all in dark sheets. Unlike her, who wanted her windows opened always, he kept his closed with black-out curtains. He had a thin desk beside his bed that rarely had anything on it as he used his office more often. A futon was opposite of it and scattered around were decorations in a similar theme.
She started on his bookshelves to see if she could find anything. Rummaging through his items was a severe violation of his privacy so she was careful to be respectful and put them carefully back. After not finding anything in his pristine quarters, she took a minute to herself. She still had his office to search.
A few minutes later, Abigail was standing in her brother's office. She was surprised by the substantial amount of paperwork and files he had going on. The chances of finding something were much higher.
She immediately began her search, not really sure what she was looking for. Maybe for files about her fourteen years ago. For why her Mother and Lady Barrington had to go out that day. Where they were going and how it was related to her.
She spent the first five minutes going through his large desk, then the next ten minutes scouring his shelves. There were dozens upon dozens of paperwork and unfortunately, the majority of them were useless. A lot of them only dated back as far as five years when John started interning at the Barrington Corporations and Security.
Abigail slumped down in the seat. She only had an hour before she started her next chore and it would be nightfall before she had time again. Her foot pivoted and she spun herself around. Maybe she wasn't searching in the right area, or maybe her brother really had no information about anything. He was only a child when their Mother died.
She had started to organize her next assault into her Father's office in her head when her eyes lowered onto the mundane laptop. John's laptop.
A plain black HP, it was closed and rested on top of the desk. She hadn't planned to make her search digital but maybe she should now.
The laptop opened with a smooth motion. The screen came up prompting the password.
"Dammit."
She caught herself swearing and bit her lip. Her fingers began to position themselves on the keys. She typed in his birthday.
Incorrect.
She typed in Claire's birthday.
Incorrect.
She tried all their birthdays, anniversaries, and the things she knew he liked.
If what she was looking for was here, this laptop was the most reasonable place to hold it. For one, she knew that he transferred data from his phone to his personal computer when it gets full.
She had to get in and if she didn't know the password, there was another way.
Hack it. And there was only one person she knew who could.
He graduated from Oxford University in the top five percent with a prestigious degree in computer science. He helped code a massive database the police force used to profile criminals and currently has an expanding security firm in New York City.
Once again, Abigail was standing outside of Lucas's office, announcing her entrance. His voice was calmer this time around, creating a welcoming invitation, but also made her put her guard up.
She came to stand in front of him and waited to be acknowledged. It took him a minute to greet her without taking his eyes off the screen. His fingers were typing away insanely fast on the keyboard. Then he paused and put a knuckle on his lip before ruffling through some papers and back to typing again.
She placed her brother's computer on his desk, just off to the side.
"Help me break into John's laptop," she finished and stepped back.
He stopped typing immediately. His brows rose up with both curiosity and amusement, meeting his crystal-blue orbs with her golden-hazel ones from below.
"Come again?" The corner of his lips couldn't help but pull up.
She sighed with frustration but hid her annoyance by biting her lip. She explained again that she needed to get into his laptop but she didn't have the password.
He gave her a long hard look before exhaling and finishing up the line on his coding.
"Everything comes at a price, little girl."
She knew he wanted an explanation but was glad he didn't ask. Her hands fisted at her side. Of course, it does. She clenched her jaw. It was only reasonable that he wouldn't do anything for free knowing his behavior and personality.
"You owe me," she caught herself saying.
He stopped typing again.
"I'm sorry?" His tone was different and his eyes were now filled with nuisance.
She blinked a few times and licked her lips.
"You assumed I wanted revenge for what you did if I take your life. What if you could use your life to repay me back instead?"
As soon as she finished, the booming sound of his loud furniture frightened her. He'd stood up with such force that he'd practically shoved his desk forward by a foot. The pupils on his orbs narrowed at how she retreated. Her body position showed she almost ran out of there.
His face flashed a split second of rage before giving a soft chuckle and shake of his head. He placed both hands flat on the desk and leaned forward.
"How bold you've become, Abigail," he uttered from a deep chord.
Lucas saw her throat contract as she swallowed and caught her shaky breath. He knew full well that if he even so much as take another step forward, she would've fled without a doubt.
But he didn't. He remained at his distance.
As much as he was stunned at her request, he was more fascinated by her audacity and courage to come through with it.
Owe her? She must've been kept in the dark for too long. Did she have any idea what he'd done for her?
He examined her fight-or-flight posture and quickly sat back down. When he noticed the disposition of his desk, he swore and pulled it back with another loud rumble. He grunted and sat back down, placing his fists on the table. Then, as soon as his cold eyes met hers, she sucked in a breath.
"You honestly think I won't do anything to you right now?"
It was not so much a threat but a comeback to her compromise. But how he wanted to drag her next door to his bedroom too. Fuck.
A deep sigh escaped from his lips and he leaned back in the chair. He crossed his fingers together on his stomach, resting his elbows on the arms. She was so far away he could see her from head to toe.
A sweater dress wrapped itself loosely around her small body with black tights on her skinny legs and slippers on her feet. The neck opening on the dress was large compared to her small frame, exposing her collarbones and part of her shoulders.
Is that… no bra?
"It's just a suggestion," Abigail was able to mutter without stuttering. Her voice was so meek he could barely hear. "Nothing you do could really make up for what you did."
Lucas found her words prematurely decided. He smirked. She knew he wanted to compensate for his wrongdoings and was using it to her advantage. He decided to take up the challenge.
He reached over for John's laptop and set it in front of him. Whatever it was that she was looking for, little Abby would never come to him unless it was a last resort.
Also, screw that son-of-a-bitch. He had it coming.
Lucas opened the device and the screen popped up to prompt the password. Instead of entering a possibility, he hit some keys and the screen went completely black. Green letterings immediately began revealing line by line. As soon as it did, he also began typing.
His eyes darkened and became focused. He hadn't hacked into a computer ever since university but quickly remembered how easy it was. Occasionally, he would look down at the keys but the sound of typing never stopped.
Abigail was standing in front of him now. He sensed her curiosity and encouraged her to come around to see. She debated his invitation in her head for a minute before declining.
There was a short moment of silence where the only sound was his fingers and the keys.
"You see, coding is highly subjective but quite easily achieved. It does exactly what the programmer tells it to do. But one tiny little mistake, and the entire script will not run."
When he finished, he looked up to see her reaction. He knew that as soon as his tone changed halfway through, she could tell he was back at it. He still won't tell her to stop with her endeavors, but he was warning her again.
Her eyes ran back and forth, her focus drawn inward but she remained silent. He knew she continued to ask herself if it was still worth it.
That's why before he handed the laptop over, he cautiously went through every piece of data in John's memory card to see if this dumbass left anything that could leak.
Lucas sucked on his lips. With a push of the enter button, he turned the device around to face her.
"This is a one-time login. Don't let the screen go dark."
His face was blank. He didn't ask for anything else or make any unnecessary comments.
Abigail was skeptical and waited in the dreadful silence for him to say something that would overturn this favor. 'You owe me now', 'You can't leave', or 'I'm telling him'.
But he never said anything. The room continued to remain quiet and the most agonizing thing was that his eyes never left her as she grabbed the laptop off the desk, thanked him, walked to the door, and closed it behind her.
She rushed back to John's office and sat down. She took heed of his advice but really she only had half an hour to search. Her finger moved the pointer to click on the file icon. Her eyes scanned the names of each folder. She first looked through documents and after what seemed like forever, found nothing but contract forms, legal papers, and insurance stuff.
Her nails dug into her palms so hard they almost broke through. The frustration returned a nostalgic irritation. It was the same when she was four and she asked. It was the same when she was ten and she asked. It was the same when she was sixteen and asked. And it was still the same when she tried to find it for herself. Dead end after dead end.
Her head fell into her hands hopelessly. Why couldn't she be more capable? Why did she have to be inadequate and such a disappointment?
With only ten minutes left, she found her way looking through some old pictures of her and her brother. There was one during her fifth birthday and cake all over John's face. Another one of her in seventh grade during one of her piano concerts. She couldn't help but smile through these fond memories. Then surprisingly, she came upon a folder labeled 'Funeral'.
She was told that her Mother and Lady Barrington never had a funeral and were both cremated. Their ashes were sent to the Barrington Mausoleum afterward. For some naive reason, she had never bothered to ask why a funeral was never held.
She clicked on the folder and it immediately launched hundreds of pictures of a funeral, evidently of the two mothers. They were both held at the same time and it wasn't small. It was a grand funeral hosting roughly over three hundred guests.
Her eyes went large as she scanned picture by picture. There was a funeral held for her Mother, but where was she? She never remembered attending it nor did she remember what she was doing that day. Unfortunately, the picture didn't have dates but from the look of John's age, it was only months after the accident.
And then she found a formal picture of the family members who attended. It was always customary to take one for future references and keepsakes. She peered into it long and hard until she realized there were two people missing.
Her.
And Lucas.
Sorry for the hiatus.
Please leave a comment so I know you guys are still with me. :)
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