Unbeknownst to Mu Yuze, He Juan did not leave.
He had merely orchestrated a façade to make Mu Yuze give up, to plant the image into Mu Yuze's mind that he had left in a cruel and resolute way, to quash any seed of hope in the boy's heart before it could even sprout to life. To make him believe that there was no hope in He Juan ever returning again. He needed to do this.
He only hoped that Mu Yuze was not hurting as much as he did. Yes, he might be sad and disheartened for a while, but he would soon bounce back to life and thrive. And this time, no danger would ever come knocking on his door again, because He Juan had eliminated the greatest threat there was to the boy— which was himself.
the amount of tissues i wasted on this chapter is ridiculous QAQ HJ really brought his love language - act of service - to another level *bawl*
this is the most angsty chapter in volume 2 imo, but it can also be because I resonate with He Juan more than Mu Yuze ;-;