Capítulo 52: My departure
"We shall miss you very much in London. It shall certainly be boring without you, dear sister." My sister sniffles as she holds my hands and holds back tears. My other two sisters stand, unbothered by my departure. My mother is not concerned either, but that does really not bother me whatsoever. "I do hope you shall still visit and I do hope Benedict shall not mind if I shall come to stay with you all!"
"For you, Penelope, of course." Benedict smirks, kissing my sisters hand and taking my own. "Come on, you. We must say goodbye to my own family. We may not see Colin for a true while since he is departing to Greece or Italy or wherever it is. Goodbye, Lady featherington. Philipa, Prudence, and dear Pen."
"Goodbye." I follow his suit, waving only to Penelope, before we walk across the street so we may see his own family.
"Colin, you are leaving? And I trust you are all packed for your fantastic journey across Europe?"
"I am indeed." Colin nods, his teeth chattering as though he is a little nervous. I swear for a moment that I see him glance across to my own home, perhaps to Pen, but maybe I see that because it is what I wish to see. I should truly like to see Colin and Penelope end up together but I am afraid that shall never happen. Pen shall never be brave enough to admit her feelings and Colin shall forever be too green and naive to realise so. "I shall miss London. Is there anything you should wish for me to return home with, Peaches? Any gifts in particular you should like?"
"Nothing I can think of but I shall ensure I send you a letter if I do." I smile, as someone pulls gently at my arm. I turn around to see that it is Anthony, and I sigh a little, preparing myself that he will only be speaking to me so that he might insult me. "Anthony."
"Peaches. May I borrow you for a moment?" He moves me to the side, behind the carriage so that I am alone with him. I am unsure if he means for it to, but it makes me feel slightly threatened. "I have pulled you aside so that I may tell you that I have realised I have been out of line. I have been more than cruel to you when you have not always deserved so. I will not say that you have never deserved so because to say such shall never be true but... I was quick to judge you because of your family. I should not have ever done so. You make benedict happy and that is what matters."
I hesitate for a moment. "I do not think everything you have said to me shall be so easily fixed as with this simple apology, Anthony. I deem cruel to be an understatement, you have made much of my life with your brother incredibly difficult. I know you are under stress and I know that there is more going on in the background of your life than anyone shall ever know, but I... what you said hurt nonetheless. I shall know your apology is genuine when you no longer act as though I am your enemy." I watch him, and I do feel as though there is meaning behind it. He looks at me with sad eyes and nods.
"Yes. That is quite reasonable of you, Peaches. Thank you."
He moves back to converse with his younger siblings and I walk back towards them, that is when I feel as though I may be sick, and so I stop for a moment, Benedict hardly realising until I grip onto his arm to force him to stop by the side of me. "Oh I am sure I shall be sick... whatever is wrong with me? I have been feeling sick since a few evenings ago. Perhaps I ought to see a doctor."
"Perhaps you ought to, Peaches. It sounds to me as though perhaps it is morning sickness." Violet pats my back gently as Benedict strokes small circles. I stare up at her, and her face glows, a smile forming.
"Morning sickness?..." .
"Yes, my dearest. When you are with child, you get morning sickness. I had it quite badly with all of mine apart from Fran. It was horrendous with her." She watches me closely as I stand back up straight, and she places a hand on my stomach, her face growing into an even wider smile. "My dear, you are with child."
"With child? I am pregnant?" My smile matches hers, only becoming wider as I look for my husband's reaction, and he wraps his arms around my torso, kissing the top of my head repeatedly. "We are having a baby?"
"It does indeed sound that way." He smiles, pressing his cheek against mine as his hand now moves to spread across my stomach, the other stroking my chin. "We are having a child. We are to be a family. I did tell you we would fill Aubrey hall, did I not?"
"You did... oh, you did. You did! We are with child!" I cannot contain the excitement that I feel, and neither can he, as he pecks kisses up and down my neck until I squeal with laughter. "It is wonderful, it is so wonderful... it is so wonderful!"
"It is, yes, indeed." Eloise strolls over, a small smirk on her face as she places a supportive hand on my back. "What should be good is if you shall come with me and we can discuss exactly how this happened. We are family, are we not? We all must know exactly how and when and why and what. It is absolutely all of our business after all?"
"I... it..." I look from her to Benedict.
"It most certainly is none of your business, Eloise. I do not think I could tell you any of the specifics either way." Benedict strokes the back of my neck and I melt into his touch, smiling happily. "Eloise is obsessed with learning of how women come to be with child, Peaches. That is all, you must not answer any of these questions she has."
"Of course. You shall find out soon enough, shall you not? You debut next season." I raise an eyebrow, realising that she is genuinely as clueless as Pen pretends to be, and as I should have been. It is frustrating to know so little of the world, I felt that only moments ago when Violet instantly recognised the cause of my sickness. I should have been able to recognise that myself, should I not? Our children shall grow up to know simple things such as that, things they must know or that shall be useful to know.
"And shall you return next season?" Eloise asks, a little disappointed as she knows I shall tell her no more than anyone else shall.
"I think we shall. It shall be nice to see everyone." Benedict speaks and I agree. He strokes around my stomach. "And we shall have an entirely new little one to bring with us to introduce to the ton."
"Yes, yes we shall." I meet my husband's eyes, and as he smiles down to me, I know that everything shall be okay.
No matter what happens, everything shall be okay as long as he is here and he is smiling. That is all that matters any longer.
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