Capítulo 30: CHAPTER 26
If you want to read up to 20 chapters ahead go to https://www.patreón.com/cornbringer
Discord invite: https://discord.gg/XHduApz
Enjoy!
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[David Lance POV]
Little by little, my mind had fixed itself from the damage it had suffered. Bringing in the process, more than what was originally within myself, more than what I would've cared to remember.
Memories of the painful process in which the Joker virus had voraciously assaulted my mind, seeking to consume any semblance of reason, leaving nothing but utter madness.
Memories of the past, in graphic detail, detailing who I had been, before I came into this world, beyond what I used to remember.
Memories of me, beating Harley, Scarecrow, and The Joker, with a smile on my face, enjoying the suffering I was bestowing upon them, without even knowing why.
Memories of how afraid I had been of becoming like him, of killing anyone but them…
So many memories… I didn't want to have. But they were. Haunting me, with the what if… I had succumbed to the Joker's virus? What if I had killed my sister because of it?
I knew it was, or at least seemed pointless to worry about what could've happened, instead of focusing on what had actually happened, but no matter how much I told myself that, or how much I tried to push those thoughts away.
My mind simply kept wandering to that same corner, over and over again. Torturing me, in a cage, in a nightmare of my own making. After all, who was to blame but myself? At the end of the day, it was my mind, my fears, and my thoughts that haunted me.
I was afraid.
So very afraid.
The worst thing was, that I didn't even know what scared me. The what-ifs were part of my fear, maybe fuel to it, but they weren't the main source of it, I knew that.
What I didn't know was, what made me feel so utterly hopeless.
It wasn't Deathstroke.
It wasn't The Joker.
It wasn't my powers.
If I had to describe my fear. How I felt in words, I would say it was like anxiety and fear, the emotions had mixed, making a new feeling just for me.
Perhaps it was simply anxiety, the feeling of fear, dread, and uneasiness without a clear cause, in most cases.
Perhaps I was simply overselling my own situation.
I didn't know.
All I knew was… That I wanted this feeling to go away, to leave be me.
I had finally made peace with who I was, with my burdens… with everything that had been haunting me, fighting my emotions, my struggles with firm resolutions.
Now, however. Unlike before, I had no clear target to tackle, as this dreadful feeling I was experiencing was without origin, leaving me with no clue how to deal with it.
"Perhaps it will go away with time," I muttered, floating adrift within my mindscape while smiling at the sound of my voice. Wondering, was that how I really sounded? Or was that simply how I imagined how my voice? "I just had a bad day. All I need… is time…"
I liked that thought. The idea everything would be okay, in time.
I truly hoped I was right about that one. I truly did.
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[Dick Grayson POV]
I woke up in the Bat Cave, my body covered in IV lines, administering fluids inside me. My mind going straight to David.
Where was he? Was he okay?
In front of me, a few meters away, sitting in front of the computer, was Batman, and next to him, there were Black Canary, and Green Arrow, their collective eyes locked on the computer screen, analyzing some sort of information I couldn't quite reach to read.
"Batman…" I croaked, trying to reach out to him.
"Robin," Batman said, instantly turning around his chair upon hearing my voice, rushing out of the chair to my side. "How are you feeling?"
"Good," I replied, the words hurting in my throat as they came out. "Where's David?"
"Here's over there," Green Arrow replied, pointing to his right, where a bed I had originally failed to notice was, with David in it, IV lines just like mines attached to his body, monitors to his side keeping track of his vitals.
"Is he okay?" I asked, looking at Batman.
"He's recovering," Batman replied, giving Dinah a look, who I now just noticed had been glaring at me.
I didn't need context to understand her. She had every right to be angry at me, to hate me, and much more.
I had put David's life on the line, just because I had wanted to prove myself, to prove others I was ready for more. I had tricked my friend into coming with me using a recording of Batman, just so that he would come.
I was no better than any villain I had ever fought.
In the end, all I had managed to prove was that I wasn't ready at all, for anything. David had been the one to save me, even though I had been the one to put him on the line, he had been the one to fix everything.
I didn't need Batman to tell me what had happened after I had been knocked out, there was no need… Their eyes had already done that. Their eyes were full of silent judgment, full of disappointment.
Full of things I wholly deserved.
…
…..
What had I done!?
I could've died…
HE COULD'VE DIED!!!
"Robin," Batman said softly, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder, stopping my shaking body as tears rolled down my cheeks, my throat closing up.
"I almost killed him…" I bawled, unable to hold down what I was feeling. I had almost killed David, just because I wanted something I wasn't even ready for… I had almost killed him, because of a Tantrum.
"You almost did," Black Canary said, giving me a look I quite couldn't read. "You almost did…"
"I'm sorry… I… I'm sorry," I sobbed, between breaths.
"It's not me who you need to apologize to," Black Canary replied, taking a deep breath. "It's my brother. You lied to him, manipulated his trust in you, risking not only your life, which on its own was beyond irresponsible but his as well… he needs to know that… From your mouth…"
I couldn't tell him.
She was right.
But I couldn't tell him.
"Dick, she's right…" Batman said, his tone soft, yet judgmental. "You made a mistake, and mistakes have consequences, this… is the consequence of your actions. You need to accept that, whether David forgives you, or not, that's up to him."
I nodded between tears, hoping the day I had to tell David to never come.
I couldn't face him… not after what I had done.
Capítulo 31: CHAPTER 27
If you want to read up to 20 chapters ahead go to https://www.patreón.com/cornbringer
Discord invite: https://discord.gg/XHduApz
Enjoy!
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[Dinah Lance POV]
Batman led Oliver and me to a room adjacent to where Dick and David were, leaving them in the caring hands of Alfred, who was changing their IV fluids.
"Dinah, I understand how you feel. But you shouldn't let your feelings cloud who you are," Batman said as soon as we entered the room, in a non-confrontational tone.
"She has the right to feel however she wants to feel. Bruce," Oliver growled, crossing his arms.
"I know," Batman agreed. "But I also know Dinah's not one to hold a grudge."
"I'm not," I said, staring at Batman, trying to muster the right words to continue. "But this is my baby brother Bruce. I'd kill for him; I'd die for him... And your protégé almost killed him."
Batman didn't answer right away. Remaining silent for a couple of seconds before speaking. "I know. I know what Dick did was beyond reckless, there are simply no words to begin to describe what he did... I know, I know all too well. And I'll see to it that he remembers it. But don't blame him, blame me."
I stared at him for a couple of seconds, my mind clouded with worry, anger, and pain. David was all I had, all that was left from our family, and today I had almost lost him, I had almost lost the person I was supposed to protect, I had almost lost an irreplaceable part of my world. "Bruce, I already do. I just need time not to associate that feeling with Dick."
Batman nodded. "That's all I ask."
I didn't know if I would ever forgive them.
Right now, I was thinking, speaking, and acting out of anger. Emotions ruling my every move.
Perhaps one day, I would be able to see past what could've happened, perhaps when all of this is over, I won't be mad at them. Right now, however, I couldn't bring myself to forgive them.
Not without hearing David's take on all of this.
"Why is David taking so long to wake up?" Oliver asked, snapping me out of my train of thought.
"He sustained more injuries than Robin, considerably more," Batman answered without missing a beat. "Be that as it may, most of his injuries have already healed, thanks to his healing factor. However, his mind is taking longer to put itself back together."
"Is that normal?" Oliver asked before I could.
"Yes, J'onn explained in careful detail before leaving how the process worked, and how it was slower the first time. In short, his mind is going through the process slowly, making sure each piece is where it should be." Batman replied.
I sighed in relief. Psychic powers, who would've thought that?
Just how much are you going to grow, baby bro?
"He also explained how after today David's mind would be a nearly unreachable fortress, at least in his own words. Apparently, the nature of his psychic powers it's mainly defensive in nature, giving him an unnaturally strong mental shield against all means of mental alteration," Batman added, giving Oliver a USB. "There's more information on the USB. J'onn took the time to write some documents that he thought could help him, or you, understand the nature of his new power."
Oliver nodded, before taking the USB and putting it in his pocket.
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[David Lance POV]
I woke up to see Alfred in front of me. Who, upon seeing me awake smiled.
"Master David," Alfred greeted gently.
I smiled, waving at him. Physically I felt fine, a bit tired maybe, but otherwise, I felt fine, that was if you didn't count my state of mind, but I wasn't going to let that ruin my victory today.
Stretching my body, I surveyed the room, spotting Robin a few feet away from me, staring at me, a clear emotion on his face. Guilt.
~It wasn't your fault,~ I signed, giving him my best smile. There was no reason for him to feel like I did.
Robin said nothing at this, tears filling his eyes before he ducked under the covers of his bed, making me sigh. Did he really feel that bad? It hadn't been his fault The Joker had been there, or that we hadn't noticed the virus.
That's part of the job. Dealing with the unexpected, with the unwanted.
Batman had trusted us with this mission, thinking us capable of dealing with the situation, unfortunately for us what had awaited us there was beyond our level of expertise.
Be that as it may, we had done our best. And ultimately against all odds, we had succeeded, with nothing but mental scars to tell the tale.
I suppose he feels guilty for suggesting a mission, instead of simply staying in the house, as we had originally planned.
"David!"
Dinah was here.
I need to pretend everything it's okay.
These feelings will go away with time, time heals everything.
I just need to pretend they don't exist.
~Hey,~ I smiled at her, faintly, as she rushed to my side, hugging me tightly. ~You should see the other guy.~ I smiled, winking at her.
"I'm so glad you're okay," Dinah smiled, hugging me softly, almost as if scared of breaking me.
I smiled, hugging her back. Everything would be okay, I had won. I had survived, now I simply had to deal with the aftermath.
"How are you feeling kid?" Oliver asked, coming into view with a tired smile.
~Fine,~ I signed with a quick nod. ~Tired more than anything to be honest…~
I was fine. I was alive. That's all it mattered.
HaHaHaHaHaHaHAhAHahaHaHahA!
I…
"Lying to me," Dinah chuckled, giving me a kiss on the forehead. "I guess you are in the age of doing so…"
~What?~ I smiled, tilting my head.
"I heard that… laugh," Dinah muttered, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder that had started shaking.
Had I laughed?
Was the virus still in my system?
~I didn't laugh!~ I replied in a hurry, my hands barely managing to make the signs to convey my message.
"You didn't…" Dinah nodded, hugging me tightly.
"Your mind did, kid," Oliver added, with a worried look.
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