Capítulo 37: 36: Hard to Care
Lee House
Fate's POV,
"P..please Honey! F..forgive me!"
The inhumane wailing jounce me off from my slumber "Agh!" A cry evaded my vocal words. I open my eyes to meet the grimy room that was supposed to be the basement of my home. Lying over with my stomach on the dirty wooden floor I tried to turn around but fall flat, then I feel it " Aghh!!" The arching sensation on my shoulder blades. My clothes are sticky on my back. why do I feel so sweaty? With my blurred vision, I get up. The door was ajar a dim light from the corridor radiated on my clothes. Blood.
Slowly with faint steps, my bare foot moved towards the door. holding the doorknob with my shivering blood tinged hands I got outside. The pain is too much My body is infertile if I just go to my room I can dig my body into the warm water. I crave it. my clothes are moist on my back cause of the blood
"P..please!" The sobs didn't stop. The more I wanted to go to my room yet my footstep stumble upon the kitchen. where I found him on the floor bleeding knees, clutching his shoulders. " I-i'm s-sorry!" His words were muffled by his cries. There are bottles on the floor with shattered glasses.
"Sir?" I found myself calling out for him
His horrifying swollen eyes stare at me "f..F-Fate?" Uttering my name he struggled to lift his intoxicated body. I should run, I know I should go but my foot is glued to the floor
Little by little I watch him approach me "Aah!" He yelps in pain as glass pieces prick into his toes "Be careful" my voice rose from my lips by dint of concern
When he was in front of me his knees crumbled into the floor "F-Fate?"
"Yes, Dad," I answer gazing at his honey orbs. His trembling hands reach to hold mine
I let him hold them his eyes flutter with sorrow gently his palms care my forearms they still have impacts of the punishment I received a few hours ago "Y-your bleeding" his voice is soft. It feels like this person is not even the monster who gives me pain. He doesn't remember he was the one who causes me to bleed.
"It's fine " I take my hands out of his grasp " can you sit on the sofa?". He nods but when he makes an effort he tumbles. I hold his arms with my minor bloodied hands and support him. We went to the lounge area he settles on the sofa.
I depart to the washroom cupboard and take out the kit box. While I enter the lounge area I found him dozing off. I kneel in front of him and start pulling the small glass piece from his toes I used the ointment for the small cuts.
Once I finish I could hear him pleading for forgiveness "h-Honey?" His unthreatening voice whimpered "forgive me " tears drain from his eyelids. A sigh of solace fled from my lips Even if he is sorry he doesn't mean it.
He never did. Did He?
Afterall this is all just a nightmare
I sit on the wooden floor laid my back against the sofa listening to the murmurs of my father *woff!* I glanced beside me a smile curled up on my lips "KAI". He nuzzles his face on my lap, hands reach his head cares for his furs gently. He rumbles allowing me to tender more affection.
Who would have thought this would be the last time I'm hold him... the next day,
He would surrender to death
3:00 AM,
One thing about Geru Town is you never know when the rain started pouring into the hectic weather to the chill breeze. Watching the dark clouded trimmed raining and still yearning to have a glimpse of the moonlighting ignited my sense. it's peaceful with the sound of drizzling rain. Again a night without sleep is not something new to me but a dream where my father acts contrite for his mistake is weird.
Nevertheless, here I am sitting on the veranda watching the rain for almost an hour . the cold weather did magic to calm my weary head but my thoughts are still wandering. lost in my thoughts I yell when I feel two hands on my shoulders " Jesus!!" but relaxed when I heard a soft partly laugh "Miss Lee would you mind!"
My whining only makes her giggle "again him?" She sat down beside me. She knows every time whenever I have a dream of my father I came here. it's my favorite place in this house
"Yeah" I answer
"Did he?" She asked her in a worried tone
"No" I know what she means did he hurt me again in my dream, and the answer is no? Not this time. This time it's different. I could feel her eyes on me making sure what I said is true
We stay quiet until Miss Lee decides to break the ice, clearing her throat she implores "Fate?"
"Hmm"
"This girl Jennie...is she your childhood crush?" My eyes went wide at what she asked. How come she always knows about everything
I sighed maybe Jerry "yeah"
She hummed " she has a boyfriend ?"
"Yeah"
"Do you like her?" Like? Shamefully I do and I don't think I only just like her. I fall for her
"No"
"You love her?"
"Yes"
"Did she do something?" Yes, she did. Not only said she did so many intolerant things to me, Miss Lee
"Yes"
"Will you tell me what she did?" I know Miss Lee won't force me if I didn't but need to hear what she would say
"She mocks me about my nightmares"
Silence, only the sound of rain aped us. I felt her hand over mine the warmth of her hand fondled my cold ones "Are you angry with her?"
"Yes"
She smiles " Are you sure about that?". Sure? I am angry and hurt. okay I am mostly hurt
"Yes"
" Fate " a deep sigh left her lips " are you angry because of what she said or you're angry because she is the one who said it?"
her question makes me shrug. I take out my hands and place them over my knees "maybe both " I answer
" Fate you and I, we both know it's not about what she said "
I look at her confused " what do you mean?"
"Fate whatever she said it's not like the first time you would hear them. People always used to mock you about your dreams and your appearance, so are you sure it's all about what she said ".
right I remember when I go to middle school students used to bully me sometimes they would lock me in the bathroom. And for the worst whenever we had gym classes they would give me loathing looks. Then again if I had the worst why do I feel...
" Maybe because you expect her to be good to you." Miss Lee explains " how can you expect her not to hurt you when she doesn't even know who you are."
I lean my head on her shoulder "what should I do now? it's not like we are something. The deed is already done "
" Fate, the beauty in your relationship is not how you meet each other and worry about the deeds. Relationships aren't easy they take hardships, sometimes you would feel like you're losing yourself and each other but in the end, your destiny will bring you back "
I chuckled heartily "Miss Lee we are not in a relationship and to remind you she has a...'
" boyfriend. I know "
I lift an eyebrow striving to glimpse her tone. She is serious "then why are you still?"
"Because she is here with you not with her boyfriend"
"But that..-' she didn't let me finish
" Fate I'm not saying you should forgive her for whatever she did. Just don't ignore her efforts "
Efforts? I didn't see any. We dwell in silence but it wasn't bad. The rain eventually hiatuses allowing The moon to come out from the dense illuminating the night "Miss Lee do you think...my dad ever feels bad for what he did?".
Her hands wrap around my arms, " as a parent I think your dad should feel more than just guilt. It's all caused by his actions he is living in your nightmares..." slowly drawing patterns of circles she continues " however, you always run away from your past from him but why not you learn from and accept it. It's always you to choose "
"I did try Miss Lee but maybe for once I just could see his other face where he just is my dad. A man who loved his family perhaps could change my belief". Just like I see in my dream where he is gentle and caring... Worried
" I Wish you could " she retired her hands and looked at me "now go take some rest it's already late tomorrow we have to go "
"About that Miss Lee can I go alone this time "
"Alone?"
"Yes I wanted to face my demons and meeting mom would be first "
She grinned and give me a hug " that's very good. I'm proud of you Fate"
I return her embrace " I know you do"
Later on after our talk. I found myself walking towards my room holding my pillow and blanket. carefully I open the door and get inside. The lights were off but the moonlight peeks into the room from the mezzanine balcony. My eyes twill to greet the shivering idol laying on my bed in the fetal position. She is cold
Sighing heavily I move close and cover her with my blanket. As the warmth of the blanket cased her she relaxed. The sight of her sleeping peaceful form comple my heart to be thoughtless. Before I could realize my hands rose to caress her cheeks brushing the hair locks falling over her face "Umm...Fate" hearken my name as a soft little cry from the idol's dedicated lips makes my heart boost up, chills run down my spine I halt my movement. she snugs her cheeks in my hands "Mmm.."
Again! Damm it! what the hell is she dreaming of? Okay, just take your hands back and it's gonna be fine. 'Be careful Be careful.'. I take my hands back .she shifts her motion and muzzles her face into the soft material. Her fingers grip the blanket
In the quandary should I leave or should I stay? I end up sitting on the balcony chair. Restraining my sights on the idol who is quiet now. I wonder if she would leave tomorrow afterall that's what I told her to do. 'But that's what you wanted don't you?'
Want... If I deem then I would confess no matter how much she hurt me push me away the more my heart clutched to her. the insatiable strings only get intenser and that's not fair after all after the next few months she would be back into her life and I would be gone from her senses like dirt.
Still, I'm chagrined here watching her. Make sure she doesn't catch a cold. Letting a deep breath I rested my head on the top rail. Jennie Hang Kim...why are you so hard to care for
Tediously the idol's face faded away from my eyesight as I let my body drain into darkness. Despite the fact, my muscles were fed up I felt something palpate my cheeks, steadily fondly.
Maybe my mind was still playing tricks on me
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