Capítulo 8: Chapter Eight
After the harrowing yet enlightening experience in Vados' little pocket dimension you relatively quickly got back to doing your actual job. Using your yet again strengthened psychic abilities you've become capable of doing the job of an entire restaurant all on your own and it shows in the quality of your meals.
Champa looks at your latest creation, a hamburger and prods it inquisitively.
"Are all these vegetables really necessary?"
"Tomato is a fruit and yes. They are vital for the real experience. Just try it if you don't believe me."
Grumbling in his frustration the God of Destruction bites into the large bun and his eyes snap open as the juiciness of the meat, the flavor of the condiments and the texture of the fresh, crunchy vegetables assault his taste buds. "WHOOOOOOOA! YES! THIS IS IT! What did you say it was?"
"Hamburger."
"Ah! Hamburger! Yes! This is what I've been looking for!..." Champa then goes silent as if something occurred to him. "But I assume something so tasty is not easy to produce."
"Actually it's not hard at all."
His happiness returns to him and Champa starts laughing once more. "HAHA! Finally!
This shall be my secret weapon during my next stand off with my stupid brother!
That'll show him and his stupid instant ramen!"
Sighing with relief that your boss is pleased you sit down and start enjoying your own meal when you notice something going on with Vados' wand. She looks at it for a moment before giving her master a concerned look. "Lord Champa..."
*sigh* "What is it Vados?"
"We have a guest incoming."
"Tell them I'm busy!"
"It's very urgent. So much so that they are already here."
"WHA-" Champa almost chokes on his food.
"Who DARES to interrupt a God of Destruction during his meal?"
"Another God of Destruction sir." Champa swallows nervously as Vados continues.
"Apparently Lord Sidra seeks to have an audience with you."
Suddenly Champas attitude changes dramatically from scared to pissed off.
"That bastard... Who does he think he is to come here unannounced?! Fine... if he wants to play like that..." Champa looks at you and you get a bad feeling about this. "Eric! As your lord and master I order you to come with me!
You'll be a God of Destructions aide for this one time!"
You give him an annoyed look. "Why? Isn't that appropriate?"
"It is. That's why we're doing it!"
Shrugging you agreed to your boss. "A'ight. Just gimme a sec." You say as you start wrapping some of the leftover burgers up.
"That's fine. Let's make those bastards wait!"
As you keep on packing the food you start inquiring Vados about this new God of Destruction. "So this... Sidra? What kind of a being is he?"
"As his name implies he's the equal of Lord Champa. So bear that in mind and treat him with respect. But with that said you might find him to be much less volatile than Lord Champa. In fact he's known as the most benevolent of all the Gods of Destruction."
"So... he's a good guy? That's a relief."
"That's not what I said..." Vados' tone gets much darker. "Sidra is passive and tends to overthink things so he hardly if ever destroys anything."
"I... don't get it."
"Let me answer that with a question: What do you think happens if there is creation but no destruction?"
"O-Overcrowding on a universal level?"
"Precisely. But that alone wouldn't be enough to plunge a universe into chaos. Now... let's not waste much more time. Let it be enough to know that a little sass is allowed just don't go overboard, okay?" You nod in acknowledgement and head out behind your boss.
Outside you saw the three figures from a far away, the God in the middle with his angel on one side and a knife eared guy on his other. Your guess is that he's one of those "Kais" you heard about. As you arrive it's Vados who speaks up first.
"Brother Mojito! It's good to see you again!"
"..."
"Come now. You aren't even going to greet your big sister?"
"...Hello."
"I like our little chats!"
But unlike the pleasant if a bit awkward exchange between Vados and her brother the two Gods are on much, MUCH less friendly terms with one another. "So Sidra!" *chomp*
"What gave you the bright idea to disturb me during my lunch unannounced?!" *swallow*
But instead of the dwarf like God of Destruction his Kai speaks up in response.
"Champa! How dare you disrespect us like this?! You eat in our presence?"
"You know Kai... If you weren't bound to a God every lifeform in the multiverse would line up to rearrange your face with a cheesegrater. Now shut up while I still tolerate your presence on my planet!" Champa then gives you a coy look and motions you forward.
"Would you like to join us?" You ask them.
"Oh yes, I'd very much apreciate it-"
"No Sidra!" The Kai slaps the sandwich out of his gods hand. "Do not partake of their filth!"
"Also Lord Champa! Have you lost your mind that you brought a mortal to be your aide?!"
"Careful Kai... This mortals life is worth more to me than yours and Sidras combined.
Were it not for the rules of Zeno I'd have slaughtered you for your insolence."
Champa orders the Kai to be silent.
"Wow... Champa REALLY doesn't fuck around."
You whisper to Vados.
"Lord Sidra and his universe are the punchline of many jokes amongst the Gods sadly.
This is one of the few times when he can get away with such behavior."
"So Sidra! Why are you here? Out with it or I'll throw you back in your universe before you'd ever realize what happened!"
"Y-You see Champa... We have a problem."
"Yes. My problem is YOU being here! And whatever problem you have in your universe is of no concern to me!"
"Y-You see... it's not just my universe that has a problem!"
Champa then glares daggers at his equal.
"You have five seconds to explain that!"
You unwrap your burger and start eating it as things are about to get good. "It's-"
"Be quiet Sidra!" The Kai quiets his god.
It seems their dichotomy seems to be a bit backwards. "Not in front of the mortal!"
This time Champa gets really annoyed about the attitude of the kai. "Okay I've had enough.
Eric! Kick his ass. But make sure he survives."
You hand over the try full of delicious little burgs to Vados as you crack your knuckles.
"With pleasure!"
"Hah! Surely you're joking! You think a mortal can as much as touch me? You've gone senile Champa!"
"Careful Kai. Address me so casually again and I'm gonna let my servant beat you for an extra five minutes."
You step over to the green man and look him straight in the eye. "Hey." With one quick motion you sock him in the nose, causing him to stumble backwards.
"OWWWW! YOU DAMN MORTAL! YOU DARE LAY A HAND ON A GO-" BAM You hit him in the nose again. "OWWWW! I THINK SOMETHING JUST BROKE!"
"Wow... so this is a god huh? Kind of a letdown."
"Okay, that's enough Eric. I think we made our point. But if he speaks up again you have my permission to punch him again."
"I-Is this really necessary?" Sidra asks.
"Yes. Now speak up before I'll have your Kai torn to bits."
"You see... after the Tournament of Power things... kept escalating in my universe.
I thought the riots would stop but-"
"Wait!... By Zeno! You actually told your universe about the Tournament? Have you lost what little sense you had left Sidra?"
"I didn't tell them nothing! They... figured it out. Someone talked and-"
"You are just a cavalcade of fuck-ups aren't you? So what does that have to do with me?"
"W-Well... After we lost in the tournament I sorta lost track of our team. We tracked them through Universes 8 and 7 before arriving here. I tried hunting them down myself but they caught on and jump onto the next universe."
"So... after letting them flee from your dunghill of a universe you failed to track them down and now want me to clean up your mess? Do I get that right? Well at least you realize your incompetence. Okay, how many are we talking?"
"All."
Champa quietly buries his face in his own palm before hissing from the painful stupidity of his peer. "And tell me, why should I care?
Why shouldn't I just inform Zeno of your incompetence and have him erase both you and your twin universe?!"
"P-Please Champa!"
You lean in and start whispering in Champas big ears. "I think you should help him out."
"Why?"
"Because if you help him out he'll owe you!"
"What would Sidra have that I'd want?!"
You shake your head as you try your best to explain it to him. "Think of it like this. If you resolve this you can blackmail him anytime you need him to take your side! Don't tell me the support of a fellow god of destruction isn't immensely valuable!"
"Hmmmm... Alright!" Champa speaks up.
"You're in luck Sidra! My servant made a very good case for you so you'd better appreciate it!"
"Oh thank you Champa! Thank you! If Zeno found out... I don't know what would happen."
Champa then looks at you. "Eric. Go and get Hit. Tell him I got a job for him!"
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