Capítulo 11: Chapter 10. Power in the Breeze

As soon as the five of us had returned from that horrible memory, I moved like a zombie towards my beloved and familiar willow tree; the one place where I had always been able to pull all my inner thoughts and emotions together and analyze them calmly. I sat down with my back and head leaning against the bark and simply closed my eyes to let my tears run down my cheeks. Not long afterwards, I began to sob, giving all of my emotions, good and bad, the freedom to leave me.

Although by the end of the memory I had felt inner peace, and the sight of that being caring after my mother had helped to shield me from a lot of the horror that I would have actually felt had I confirmed that we suffer through life alone, that still did not eliminate the pain.

In fact, as much as I didn't want to, I felt torn in two. On the one side lay the utter horror and shock, and therefore the anger and sadness that I had and still felt, for what had happened to my mother. And on the other, lay the warmth that had started to ignite and then spread inside me as I thought more and more about that being who had remained next to my mother every step of the way.

Seeing that being had been like nothing I had ever learned or expected and it had thrown me off completely. Unlike what I had always thought of these spirits, he had been very much visible to my eyes, or he had become so when I had angrily questioned God for leaving an innocent to suffer. There had been no wings on him as one would have expected, nor had there been a halo on top of his head. No, what had allowed me to know what he was, who he was, had been that very mysterious aura around him, especially because it reminded me of a similar power from someone in my group of companions.

Experiencing that presence and that sight had completely left part of my old platform of principles and beliefs without a base because it had showed me that there was actually someone out there looking after us and caring after us.

However, at the same time, I was completely overloaded with questions. Why, if there was this good and all-powerful God watching over us through different means, didn't He intervene on behalf of the suffering? I know that that little boy had shown up and saved my mother, and I knew it had not been a simple coincidence. Somewhere in me I knew that God had responded to my demands. But still, why did a young, good woman, have to suffer such horror in the first place? And more to the point, why had God created such monsters? If He was omniscient as everyone had told me, then why didn't He prevent things before they happened?

As the whirlwind of emotions ran amok inside me, I felt a soft and gentle breeze grazing my cheek, and when the sound of gently running water called my attention I was finally able to ground myself and find some calm.

At that moment, I opened and brought my eyes up to encounter myself with the gentle face of the man I now knew for a fact had played a part, through that angel, in helping and saving my mother. A warmth began to spread within me as I looked at him and at that moment I realized how deeply I had come to care for Emmanuel.

And then, as I focused on his gentle eyes my heart reacted in the weirdest way. For some reason, it began to beat faster, as if it were excited about what it was seeing and sensing coming from Emmanuel, and as his stare continued to penetrate further and further, a realization that shocked me to the bone came to me. That young angel with my mother had had an aura and power behind him that had not come from him and now, as I stared at Emmanuel I realized it had belonged to him. I knew that I was at the brim of a huge discovery, one that would transform me. And the curiosity inside me was bigger than my prudence, so of course, I had to ask.

"That was you, wasn't it? I simply asked.

"Yes, Emily, the power you saw enveloping that angel, that was mine,"

"Then why? Why didn't you do anything to help my mother? I... I have no idea who you really are, what you are, if you are a ghost, a product of my overactive dying mind, a spirit, a demon, and you won't tell me either. I have come to understand and accept that at some point I will fully understand the mysteries around all of you, but what I do know is that you have power and what I cannot wrap my mind around is why you didn't do anything to help an innocent woman who was suffering like she was? You were there with her, so why didn't you stop such an atrocity? " I asked not with the intention of generating an argument, but more with the desire to understand where these scaffolded revelations of each of my companions was leading and how they connected with my life and all its events.

Emmanuel approached me and then placed his hands on my shoulders, increasing in this way the connection between my soul and his own. As this happened, and powered, I knew, by the gifts Michael had given me, I began to see something I had not expected and that had been beyond the capabilities of my human senses to comprehend. Emmanuel had suffered alongside my mother, I could see it in his eyes, and somewhere deep I knew that he had intervened on behalf of my mother not only through that small child, but most importantly by a means that we humans seldom understand. Instead of harming another human being, regardless of how evil he may be, Emmanuel had, through the angel, given my mother the strength to hold on.

However, as a very human woman, the questions remained for me: Why allow such terrible events to happen? Why not stop them from their origin instead of letting them develop?

From the look that sparkled in Emmanuel's eyes, and the smile he sent my way, I knew that he had read my thoughts perfectly, and his answer confirmed this. "The questions you are asking now require a lot of explanation and are very deep because they penetrate a much more complex mystery, Em. For now, this is what I can tell you. The keywords here are: human freedom and human choice. But you will soon see how those played a part in your mother's case and in your own. Also, you have yet to see another part of the equation here: all these events, good and bad, help sculpt and build the pathway of the life you, in your freedom, have chosen to live. What will make a difference is how you interpret each of them and transform them either into a stepping stone, or into baggage that will hold you down and make you suffer. This too is part of human choice."

Without further words, I suddenly found myself enveloped into Emmanuel's arms. The tenderness of the gesture, but more importantly, the level of connection and communication that our hearts and souls reached became like a veil that had been suddenly moved to the side to allow better sight.

This "window" if you will, into Emmanuel's heart, permitted me to see a being who was not just empathising with my suffering but actually felt it as if he were me. And it also showed me something else; Emmanuel had experienced in his own flesh and heart every single torment that my mother had and what had hurt him the most had been his incapability to change the outcome. Why? Because once again that outcome had resulted from a choice made. The two of us shed and shared some tears and our bond began to solidify further.

When the tear show had ended, Emmanuel pushed me gently away from him and then put his hands on either side of my face.

"I know you have a lot of questions, and also a lot of doubts right now but I need you to remember this as we move along; all will be revealed to you in due time, and when it is, you will fully understand. Your eyes, your mind, and your heart are not yet ready to receive all that I could show them. But the time will come when you will be ready. For now, I am going to tell you this. All that you have seen and all that you will see from here on out, keep it in your heart and reflect on it. All of it has a purpose and that is to show you that God does exist and He has always been by the side of His children, and in particular, you."

"Also, I want you to ponder on this: more often than not, God reveals Himself in the gentle breeze rather than in the hurricane and that's not because He is a weak being. A hurricane destroys and forces change, and most people expect God's power to reveal itself that way. But God's power most often flows gently and in the simplest of ways because He wishes to guide people to Him, not force them to see. A simple breeze may not be as powerful as a hurricane, but both generate change and a simple breeze can generate much more long-lasting change than a hurricane can."

"The spirit you saw with your mother, which you guessed correctly was your mother's Guardian Angel is one of the ways in which God's power filters through. Another was the appearance of that child at the correct moment."

"You will soon come to see Emily that God's power flows gently and sometimes even undetected, because He does not want to barrel through and over your life. He want's to respect your choices, even if that means that He has to suffer the consequences alongside you. And He also wants you to come closer not because of His omnipotence, but because of His tenderness and His love for you as a Father. In fact, as we move along, you will come to see that at those moments when you thought God was absent, He was even more active than you could perceive."

I closed my eyes and leaned against one of Emmanuel's warm palms, letting his words sink inside to calm the raging storm. I suddenly felt a warm breeze rushing around me and surrounding me and even with my eyes closed I was able to tell that this was Michael's power enveloping me. As it did, my heart began to calm and I became aware that my little fire brightened. I now felt ready to place things in order and move forward.

"So what happened to my mother after that? How was she able to recover and become the person that I grew up to know? How was it possible for me to exist?" I asked once I had opened my eyes again. Emmanuel had stood back up and moved away from me and now it was Abraham who was kneeling before me. I was a bit shocked by this, but then he spoke and the world dissipated around me.

"Sleep," Abraham whispered softly and as he did, my eyes closed and I felt my body relaxing against the trunk of the willow tree. I then became aware that my mind seemed to have separated from my body and I was no longer in my childhood home but in a dark pit. Panic rose inside me at first, but then, I felt a really strong presence surrounding me in the dark. I could not see anything, but I could feel and hear as well, and when I heard the soft voice whispering again, I knew that this presence belonged to Abraham. As soon as that realization came to me, the darkness was cleared by a huge flash of light from which I could sense the powerful and enormous essence of Abraham emanating.

Then, after the flash, my surroundings cleared and I was able to see that I was now inside a huge building that looked like a long-term care facility. I could not help but feel shocked at having been brought here. Why would Abraham lead me to an institution for long-term care, most likely a mental institution by the looks of it? And then, as if my brain were being infused with a sudden capacity to know the unknown, I instantly understood that this was where my mother had been brought after her traumatic experience.

I had been looking around me at the wooden panels, the carpeted floors, and the multiple wooden doors that lay on the right-hand side of the hallway where I had ended when I felt a hand laying on me.

I was startled at first but then became aware that it was Abraham who was next to me.

"Are you ready?"

I simply nodded and followed Abraham as he led me to one of the doors.

"I think I know where we are," I said as Abraham pushed the door open to reveal a small but pretty comfortable-looking room. "But, what is it that I am meant to see here?"

Before letting me see anything more than a long floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked a beautiful and sunny garden outside, or allowing me to detail anything else in the room, Abraham placed his hands on my shoulders and tenderly looking into my eyes said, " You will come not just to know what happened to your mother, but also how it was possible for her to become who she became later in life. More importantly, you will learn why someone like her, who suffered so much, was able to recover her faith in a loving and caring higher being. You will also understand how a soft breeze can be more life-changing than a hurricane sometimes."

Without saying anything further, Abraham turned from me and led me inside the room. My mind tried to take everything at once but my breath left me as soon as my eyes landed on the malnourished, saddened, and damaged figure of my young mother. I could not believe what I was seeing. I knew inside me that my mother had been taken to the hospital and that she had been there for quite some time just to recover from her physical injuries. But apparently the damage that had been inflicted on her mind and soul was not allowing her to become anything other than a watered version of who she really was.

Walking towards the head of the bed I realized that my young mother looked more like a living corpse than a human person. She was as pale as the sheets around her, her body was as thin as a rod and her eyes, a feature that I had always loved about her, were now glassy and reflected a being whose soul seemed to be absent. She was simply staring at the wall right in front of her bed and it was evident that she was almost catatonic. If it were not for the movement of her chest, I would have believed that she had died.

I looked further and suddenly became aware of one of my mother's arms which was resting on top of the covers. I took several steps back from the bed, staring in horror at the limb, feeling as if a snake had just tried to strike at me. My brain became total chaos. Right on top of those covers, on the pale skin of my mother's arm lay a very long scar that ran lengthwise from her elbow to her hand.

My terror-stricken eyes fell on Abraham, who had positioned himself on my mother's other side of the bed. I could not even form a coherent sentence. I felt as if what I knew my mother had evidently attempted to do, and which seemed in part to be the reason why she had been institutionalized, had become a mirror of what I had done myself.

I began to cry again, deep-wrenching sobs pouring from me as everything inside me rebelled against this situation.

Suddenly, a gentle hand dropped on my shoulder and I was pulled into the warm embrace of the man who had grown to become my soulmate. I did not say a single thing to Michael, I did not even wonder why he was here when I had been here only with Abraham. I just cried in abandon while I pulled myself closer to him as if trying to fuse with him.

I then felt as his hand reached in between our bodies and rested on top of my wildly beating heart. As I became aware of Michael's touch, I began to feel as heat, gentle at first, but then searing, emanated from his palm, and flowed straight into my chaotic soul.

My whole body began to feel as if it were on fire, but it was not a fire that pained me or hurt me. On the contrary, it seemed to be eradicating the chaos inside me, tying down the emotions that were wildly roaming inside me, drowning me, and when it finally subsided to a gentle warmth I was left not only feeling calm but also, relieved. It's as if Michael's heat had come to burn away and cleanse my soul of the horrors within it.

"See Emily, begin to really see," I heard Michael whispering softly against my ear and when I pulled away to look at him I realized, to my utter shock, that he had disappeared. At first, I thought I must have imagined him, but then I felt the warmth from before inside me and I knew that Michael had been there and was still there with me. I now felt prepared to see.

I turned back towards Abraham who hadn't moved an inch from where he had been standing since we had arrived, and although it seemed as if he had been completely unaware of what had transpired between Michael and myself, in the intense look in his eyes I could see that he had been with us the whole time. This was confirmed when the man smiled softly at me, his eyes filled with a tenderness towards me that I could barely begin to comprehend, and then he softly asked, "Are you ready, my child?" I nodded.

"Okay, then see and understand," Abraham said and as his hand moved around I felt as if a veil had been pulled from around me.

As the sensation passed, I became aware that beyond the room and the woman on the bed, this place was filled with the love of a being that I could not see with my eyes, but I could sense. At first I had thought it might be the Angel who was here but was unseen. But then I reflected further and realized that, although I could feel the angel near, the love I was sensing was all-encompassing and much more intense.

I began to wonder who was here with us, but at the end of the day, what mattered at this point was not finding out who was here with us. What truly mattered was the impact these two presences were having on me. Especially because they were reinforcing what I had already reflected upon: we are not left alone to suffer. And the proof was the woman in the bed, my beloved mother, who, despite having suffered what she did due to a wrong choice, had not been left alone in this; there was someone who loved her enormously despite her faults and wished to help her.

And then I heard voices coming from outside of the room and that brought me out of my reflection. It seemed to be that a group of people were approaching, and all had begun chattering softly when someone reminded them that the people in this institution were suffering human beings who needed their help and love.

My eyes raised towards the bedroom door and I heard as a male voice told someone, "Are you sure you want to go in there, Stefan? The woman here suffered terrible trauma and has not been able to communicate with the outside world for two months now. She attempted to take her own life, almost succeeded. Good thing her parents were always on the alert and were able to intervene before she was able to finish her existence."

I was doubly shocked. First by the male voice that had spoken because my heart instantly recognized it, but my mind was unable to connect it to any memory of the person it belonged to. And second, I was shocked by the realization that it was my father who was about to enter this room. Was I now going to witness the moment when my parents had first met?

Two figures appeared in the doorway, the first one was showing me his back and the other I could not make out and was unable to finally see as it moved down the hall. Evidently my father had made some signal that allowed the other person to know that he was going to come into that room regardless of what anyone else said. Then the young man turned around and I was left without a doubt that indeed I was witnessing the moment when my parents had met.

I had known that my father had fallen in love with my mother at first sight, but I had not known how literal that had been.

But today, I was witnessing a miracle. My very handsome and young father took one look at the young woman lying motionless on the bed and his eyes filled with an emotion I could barely name.

Very slowly, he approached the bed on the side where Abraham was standing and as he moved, I became aware of two presences. One seemed to be just a shadow that lingered near my father, but he soon assumed a bodily figure so I could see it, and I realized it was his Guardian Angel.

However, the second unseen presence was the one that really moved me profoundly. Not only was his power immense, but his love for both my father and mother knew no bounds and it was his power that was guiding my father's steps so that he could have the courage to move forward.

My attention was once again claimed back by my father who, very gently, sat on a chair right next to my mother while he deposited a beautiful bouquet of deep-red roses on the small bedside table.

"Hello Sophie, my name is Stefan and I have come to visit you today. I am very sorry if this is too forward of me, but, may I take your hand?" I heard my father saying and I saw as his hand very gently took my mother's unharmed hand.

I have no idea what led me to change my sight from my father's figure to my mother's face, but I did not get much of a chance to ponder on it as the most unbelievable and amazing thing happened at the very moment when the two hands made contact. My mother's eyes changed from two lifeless pieces of glass to two pools of very lively emotion and they moved towards the figure of my father. It was the first movement at all that my mother had made.

And then, something even more shocking happened. A smile formed on my mother's pale face as her hand closed around my father's and while tears poured from her eyes, she softly responded, "Hello Stefan, I am so glad you came."

I heard a sharp intake of breath coming from the doorway to the room and I looked up to see a woman dressed in a doctor's coat staring at the two figures in the room with shock in her eyes.

Before I could say anything or react at all to the veritable landslide of things I had just witnessed the scene dissolved and then reformed but now to show me a completely new setting. Abraham, who had come to my side right before the change of scenes, placed his hand on my arm and led me to realize that we were now outside on the gardens of the institution.

He pointed towards a beautiful set of small tables where patients and other people were and my eyes immediately zeroed in on the couple who were sitting down at the farthest table nearest to a thicket of trees. It was my parents, but the change could not have been more evident. My mother had totally changed and the woman I was seeing was not just a lot healthier but also happier. My father too seemed extremely happy. It became evident that one visit had turned into many others, that time had passed, and that I was now looking at the change my father's gentle and loving presence had wrought on my mother.

I also realized as I looked at the happy pair, that they were accompanied again by their two shadowy angels. I looked at Abraham for an explanation.

Smiling at me he said: "Like I have told you over and over, you guys have never, ever, been alone. Soon you will understand what you have seen from the spiritual world here. Now, my darling child, you see how powerful a gentle breeze can be. But we still have one more question to answer; how you came to be."

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Wow, it took a bit, but I finally got it. I hope you like this chapter. Please remember to vote and let me know what you think.

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