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90% my youth romantic comedy is wrong, as i expected : Oregairu / Chapter 36: Saki Kawasaki has some stuff going on, so she’s sulking.

Capítulo 36: Saki Kawasaki has some stuff going on, so she’s sulking.

Midterm exams were looming. While I usually studied at a family restaurant

or at the library, high school students out and about after eleven PM were apt

to get picked up by the police and taken home, and at ten PM family

restaurants ask you to leave. So when I do nighttime studying, it ends up

being entirely at home. By the way, when I say "nighttime studying," I don't

mean night in the sense of nighttime wrestling.

The needle on the clock was pointing to just before twelve. I stretched

with a groan. I felt like I could keep at it for about another hour or two. "I

guess I'll have a coffee."

I went down the stairs with muted thumps and headed to the living room.

Coffee is always the best thing for waking up. If you're going to abuse your

brain with activities like studying, it's necessary to supply said brain with

sugar. In other words, this is where the deathly sweet MAX Coffee comes in.

MAX Coffee is sweet, it has caffeine, and it's full of cream, so I think an anthropomorphization of it would be pretty sexy. For starters, she'd definitely

have a huge rack. And she'd say stuff like, I won't let you sleep tonight ! I

wish someone on Pixiv would draw a MAX Coffee-tan…

As these trivial thoughts and feelings regarding MAX Coffee crossed my

mind, I walked into the living room to see my sister, Komachi, fast asleep on

the couch. She should have had midterms coming up, too, but as usual, she

was unflappable.

I rummaged around for my stash of MAX Coffee before I remembered

that I'd already opened a new package recently, and so there was nothing to

do but boil water. I filled the T-Fal electric kettle with water and flipped up

the switch on the rear. Not knowing what else to do while the water was

boiling, I sat on one end of the couch my sister was passed out on and waited.

My sister left her stomach boldly exposed as she slept. Her white skin

rose and fell rhythmically as she breathed softly in sleep, and with every

breath her cute belly button moved. She was wearing my T-shirt, which she'd

presumably stolen from me for herself, and when she stirred with a groan, it

slowly rode up to let her bra peek out. I didn't notice before because she was

curled up, but why wasn't she wearing any pants? She was gonna catch cold.

There was a bath towel lying nearby, so I just draped it over her for the time

being. Komachi mumbled something mumbly in response.

While I was occupied with my sister, the water began to burble and boil,

and the electric kettle signaled it was done with a click. I tossed the instant

coffee powder into a mug and poured in the hot water, and then the fine smell

of coffee wafted up from it. This cup was on the strong side, so I added lots

of milk and sugar and stirred it about four times with a teaspoon. My sweet

coffee was done, and just how I like it. The rich aroma of the milk and the

fragrant scent of coffee intermingling was quite pleasant.

Apparently, Komachi had gotten a whiff, too, as she leaped awake. First

she jerked her head around to look at me, still for two seconds. Next she

pulled open the curtains, still for three seconds. Then her eyes went wide, and

she looked at the clock, still for five seconds.

All told, it seemed to take her

ten seconds to grasp the situation. She took a deep breath and then yelled in a

stupidly loud voice,

"Oh no! I overslept! I only meant to sleep an hour… I

slept like a log for five hours!"

"Yeah, that happens sometimes… Wait, no, that's way too long! Did you

go straight to sleep after you came home?!"

"Don't be rude! I did have a proper shower before I went to sleep!"

"I have no idea why you're getting mad at me right now."

"The real question here is why didn't you wake me up?!"

I don't know why Komachi was whining and howling at me about this.

Speaking of sleeping like a log, that reminded me of dogs. The female kind.

"Not like I care, but put on some pants! And you can't just take my clothes."

"Hmm? Oh, this. It's perfect as pj's. Don't you think it looks kinda like a

nightgown?" she said, tugging the collar of the T-shirt out wide.

It really does stretch out. I can see your bra. Don't spin around like that; I

can see your panties. "Well, I don't wear it anymore, so I'll give it to you."

"Oh-ho, thanks! Then I'll give you some underwear or something in

exchange!"

"Yeah, thanks." I swore firmly in my heart that if she really did give some

to me, I'd use them as a rag or something, and I sipped my coffee.

Tugging down the hem of the nightgown that was formerly my T-shirt,

she came into the kitchen and went to warm some milk in the microwave.

"Anyway, what're you doing up so late, Bro?"

"Studying for exams. I just came down here for a break," I replied, and

Komachi went ohhh in surprise.

"If this is a break, that means you're gonna study some more… Bro, you

know, I think that once you start working, you're gonna be a bijinasu-raiku

guy."

"Hey, businesslike doesn't mean 'someone who likes business.' Your

English is a disaster."

"Naw, Bro. I'm great at English. I'm a genius. Ai amu peenasu."

I would definitely not call that level of English genius. Does she not even

know the word genius in English?

The microwave went ding. Komachi took her mug in both hands, blowing

away at it to cool it down as she walked up to me. "Maybe I'll study, too…"

"Yeah, you should. I'm gonna go back to studying. You study hard, too."

I downed my coffee in one go and stood up. That's when I felt a tug at the

back of my T-shirt, and I let out a croak like a bullfrog. When I turned

around, Komachi was grinning ear to ear.

"You said 'you, too,' right? Normally, that means Let's do it together, you know. Bro, do you have a language disability?"

"You're the one with a language disability." I'd gotten a fair amount of

studying done for the night, though, so it wouldn't kill me to help my stupid

sister study.

And that's how I ended up night-studying with my sister.

***

I brought a set of my study materials from my room and spread them out on

the table in the living room. I'd decided to focus on Japanese history that day,

so I had the Yamagawa workbook, the answer key, and a notebook. Komachi,

perhaps unhappy about how bad she was at English, had Middle School

English Target 1800 out.

We both focused on our studies in silence. I solved the questions and then

checked the answers, and when I got one wrong, I'd copy both the question

and answer into my workbook. I repeated that over and over again. After I

had done about one run-through of everything that would be on the test, I

noticed that Komachi was staring at me. She seemed to be zoned out.

"What?"

"Hmm? Oh, I was just thinking, you're such a serious boy."

"Wow, that doesn't sound condescending at all. Are you looking for a

fight, you little brat? I'll pull out that stupid-looking cowlick of yours." I tried

threatening her a bit, but Komachi just laughed.

"Sure, Bro, I know you'd never hit me or anything."

"What? That's because, like…'cause if I hit you, Dad would kick my ass.

That's all. Don't get the wrong idea."

"Tee-hee! Aw, you're so shy! "

"Ugh… Shut up…." For now I'd just settle for flicking her in the forehead

in retaliation for how much she got on my nerves . I flicked her like this

was an eraser-flick match and her forehead was my opponent's eraser,

steeling myself like a suicide bomber ready to obliterate his target. In other

words, it was a real and genuine 100 percent all-out attack.

"Oww!" Komachi's forehead had let out a loud plink, and she pressed her

hands against it as she moaned. Rubbing it, she glared at me with tear-filled

eyes.

"Nghh… I was being nice and talking about what a serious studier you are, and you flicked me! are, and you flicked me!"

"Because you were being stupid. Just study, come on!"

"See, you're so serious about it! Man, there's so many different kinds of

older brothers and sisters out there, huh? A friend of mine from my cram

school, you know, has a sister who's going bad. Apparently, she doesn't

come home at all in the evenings."

"Uh-huh."

It looked like Komachi had zero intention to study. At some point she'd

closed Target 1800. She was trying to turn this into conversation time.

Mostly ignoring her chatter, I continued studying Japanese history. Year 645,

picks your fries, Taika Reforms.

"But like, but like, she goes to Soubu High and she used to be the serious

type. I wonder what happened."

"Hmm, yeah." What Komachi was saying was going in one ear and out

the other. Year 654, licks live boar, Fujiwara-kyo becomes capital. Hey, not

live boar, it's fine boar.

But man, I was sleepy. Man is in possession of a will that is stronger than

any drug. So what I'm saying is, no matter how much caffeine I have, I don't

think the caffeine can triumph over my will to sleep.

"Well, it's not my family, so I can't talk, but since I got asked my advice

about it, you know. Oh, so his name is Taishi Kawasaki, and he just started

going to my cram school in April."

"Komachi." I lay my mechanical pencil down with a clack. My

drowsiness instantly dissipated. "Just what is your relationship to this Taishi

or whatever his name is? How friendly is this friend?"

"You're kinda giving me a scary look, Bro." Apparently, I'd gotten a very

grave look in my eyes. Komachi was shrinking back a little.

But this was about my stupid sister. If I didn't watch out for her, anything

could happen. Worrying was my prerogative as a family member. I didn't

want her to get mixed up with some weirdo. Your big bro won't let that

happen, okay? "Well, you know. If you have any problems, just let me know.

I told you before that I'm in this Service Club thing that's apparently

supposed to do stuff, so there might be some way I can help you out."

"You really are a serious guy, Bro."

***

It was morning. The sparrows were cheeping. An archetypal fade to black

and morning after. When I opened my eyes, I saw not my usual view but an

unfamiliar ceiling. That is to say, the living room ceiling. Apparently, I had

fallen asleep while studying. I remembered only as far as asking Komachi

about her relationship with her "friend."

"Hey, Komachi. It's morning," I called out to her and then realized she

wasn't anywhere to be seen. Looking around the area in search of her:

approximately two seconds. Next I glanced out the window. The sun was

pretty high up. Checking that: three seconds. Breaking into a cold sweat, I

looked at the clock. Nine thirty. I read it backward, and I read it forward, and

it was still nine thirty. For a full five seconds, the clock and I stared at each

other. After ten seconds, I was faced with the shocking truth.

"I'm superlate…" My head slumped, and then I saw my morning toast,

ham, and eggs on the table along with a note.

Dear Bro,

I don't wanna be late, so I'm going now, okay? Don't study too hard!

S.P. Don't skip your breakfast!

I guess the scribble there was supposed to be Komachi's self-portrait. A

girl-like sketch was making a face at me.

"You moron… Are you security police?" The correct acronym is P.S.,

which stands for PlayStation.

Anyway, rushing wasn't going to do me any good, so I munched away at

my breakfast and got ready to go to school. Apparently, my parents had

already gone to work. Both my parents work, so mornings at the Hikigaya

household are early. My mom makes breakfast, but Komachi usually takes

care of dinner. The fact that no one had woken me up made me worry that no

one loved me, though. I wanted to believe that they were just being nice,

thinking like, I'll just let him sleep for now. I bussed my dish and changed

into my uniform. I checked that the door was locked and then left the house.

Leisurely riding my bike along the river, I looked up to see some

cumulonimbi in a hurry to stretch out across the sky. The road to school that

day was very quiet and calming. Usually, when I cycled down this street, it

was a road race of students from Soubu High and other schools. Passing them

on my bike like Gooo Magnum! felt great. And when there was someone else

on a bike, I could compete with them, like Don't lose now, Sonic! and I could

get even more fired up about it.

But that day the only people on the road were middle-aged women trying

to diet, middle-aged men walking their dogs, and fishermen. But it was nice

to have a commute like this sometimes. Thinking about how I was actually

cycling out here under the blue sky, it felt great. It was kind of like how

Iitomo is over 50 percent funnier when you skip school to watch it. So then

why was it that I suddenly got depressed when I got close to the school?

I didn't try to sneak around, though, I walked in boldly through the front

gate and into the school. Indeed, during this time the teachers were in class,

so I wouldn't be caught and yelled at for being late. There was no point in

being fearful. I've learned that from being late a total of seventy-two times

last year. I'd already been late eight times this year, so I might be able to

improve on that record at this rate. I'd have liked to pull off 1,100 wins

during my three years of high school.

Things were fine and dandy until I hit the school gates. The problem was

getting into class. I parked my bike on the racks and walked briskly toward

the entrance. When I stepped into the building, it felt like gravity had

suddenly multiplied on me. Was this the planet Vegeta or what? I went up the

stairs, walked through empty halls, and finally reached my classroom on the

second floor. I took a deep breath before placing my hand on the door. The

moment was electrified with tension. I slid the door open.

All at once, silent eyes turned toward me. A hush washed over the class.

Whispered conversations, the teacher's lecture—all form of sound

evaporated. I didn't mind being late. It was this atmosphere that I hated. If,

by contrast, I'd been Hayama, I wonder how this would have gone down.

Hey, Hayato, why're you late?

Hayama, you're so slooow!

Ha-ha-ha! Hayama never learns.

I bet it'd be something like that. But when it's me, no one says a thing. In

fact, they all give me this look like Who's that? My steps heavy, I trudged

through the dead silence of the classroom. The moment I sat down at my

desk, exhaustion hit me with a thud. "Agh…" I sighed.

Then someone just had to kick me while I was down. "Hikigaya. Come

see me when class is over," Miss Hiratsuka demanded, tapping her podium

repeatedly with her fist.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, head drooping. That was checkmate for me.

Miss Hiratsuka nodded and, with a flutter of her white coat, resumed writing on the blackboard. Wait, after class? There was only fifteen minutes

left! Cruelly, that time passed in a blink. While I ignored the lesson to itemize

my top hundred excuses for being late, the bell rang.

"That's all for today, then. Hikigaya, come here." The teacher beckoned

me with a wave. Resisting the urge to make a break for it, I presented myself

at the front of the class. Miss Hiratsuka glared as I stood penitently before

her.

"Now then, before I punch you, I might as well hear your excuse for being

late for my class."

She's already made up her mind to punch me! "Hey, you've got the

wrong idea. Hold on a second here. You know how they say 'fashionably

late,' right? I've got serious ambitions to go into the fashion industry, and I'm

practicing for when I become an elite fashion executive."

"I thought you wanted to be a househusband."

"Ngh! Oh, well, you know… Anyway, it's misguided to think that being

late is wrong! Listen. Police arrive at the scene of a crime after the fact. The

hero showing up late is the status quo. Basically, police and heroes are

always the last ones to the party! But does anyone blame them for being late?

Of course not! Paradoxically, lateness is justice!"

As Miss Hiratsuka listened to my soulful screams, for some reason, this

faraway look crept into her eyes. "Hikigaya, let me tell you something.

Justice without power is no different from evil."

"P-power without justice is way worse! Hey, hold on! Don't punch me!"

Swift death to evil. Miss Hiratsuka's fist connected with my liver

precisely. The palpable impact reverberated through my body. I fell over

coughing. While I writhed in agony, Miss Hiratsuka sighed, exasperated.

"Geez… There're too many problem children in this class." But there was no

loathing in those words. Actually, she seemed rather pleased. "And speak of

the devil." Abandoning me where I lay floundering, the teacher headed

toward the door at the rear of the classroom, heels clicking. Still rolling on

the floor, I turned that way to see a female student with a bag stroll in as if

she'd only just arrived at school. "Saki Kawasaki. Are you fashionably late,

too?" Miss Hiratsuka acknowledged this new arrival with a smile, but the girl

she called Kawasaki only paused for a moment to give the older woman a

silent nod. She passed by where I was collapsed on the floor and headed

straight for her desk .

She had bluish-black hair hanging all the way down her back, loosely tied

front shirttails, and long, supple legs that looked capable of a swift kick.

What left the greatest impression, though, were those listless eyes of hers that

seemed to gaze into the horizon. Also, a peek of black lace with artisan-level

embroidery.

I felt like I'd seen this girl before… Oh, wait, she was in my class, so of

course I'd seen her before. I didn't want to be falsely suspected of peeking up

girls' skirts from my ground-level vantage, so I hopped to my feet.

But I felt like I was missing something. "Black lace?" Then all the

questions that had arisen in my mind instantly melted away.

I flashed back to the image that had burned itself onto my retinas just the

other day. The girl I'd caught sight of on the roof who'd made fun of me out

of the blue. Oh, so she was in my class. Having figured it out, I stole a second

glance at her to confirm that she was indeed the student known as Saki

Kawasaki. That was when it happened.

Kawasaki, who'd been heading for her desk, stopped in midstep to glare

at me over her shoulder. "What an idiot." She didn't kick me or punch me.

Just that. She wasn't blushing shyly or flushed in anger. She said it as if

totally disinterested, like the whole situation was stupid.

If Yukino Yukinoshita was frozen, then Saki Kawasaki was cold. It was

the difference between dry ice and the regular variety. Yukinoshita burned

anyone who touched her. Kawasaki combed her hair back with a hand as if

exasperated and headed for her desk again. Pulling out her chair and taking

her seat, she proceeded to stare blankly out the window as if she was bored. It

actually looked like a deliberate attempt to avoid the sight of the classroom.

No one tried to speak to her. She was emitting a Don't talk to me aura.

But the fact that she'd turned on the Don't talk to me aura meant she was

poorly informed. In our class, even if you emit a Please talk to me aura, no

one will talk to you.

"Saki Kawasaki, huh…?"

"Hikigaya, don't use that deep, passionate tone to mutter the name of a

girl whose skirt you just peeked up." Miss Hiratsuka put her hand on my

shoulder. It was extremely cold.

"Let's have a little chat about this incident.

Come to the faculty office after class."


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