Capítulo 50: Awkward First Steps
A few days later, Vivian's opportunity finally came.
Mae and Jiera came into the nursery in the afternoon to bring the children to the menagerie, leaving Vivian to do whatever she'd like. Kyrie was still in the menagerie doing work on the animals, and Neri had gone with the children to be able to attend the ladies and help with the children. Vivian's stomach churned with both nervousness and excitement now, and she crept over to the window of the nursery to see if she could see Renard out there.
She'd spotted him out there earlier in the day and it had been that sighting that helped give her a bit of hope that today would be finally be the day that she went out to see him. Unfortunately she didn't see him out there right now, but that didn't deter her even remotely; even if she couldn't see him at the moment, he was definitely out there somewhere, and it shouldn't take her too long to find him as long since she'd just seen him recently!
Putting away all the toys and books that the children had played with today, Vivian was impatient to finish the chore and did it with a little less finish than usual. Planning on just darting out of the room she paused for a moment as her hand rested on the doorknob. Looking back at the room, she let out a slightly annoyed sigh before turning and tidying up all the corners: there was no reason for the quality of her work to suffer for the sake of leisure. Mae likely knew about how the slaves slacked off a bit, but she hadn't said anything about it because their work had never suffered before. No reason for Vivian to be the first one to break that trend.
Even though her impatience was palpable, she took the time to properly set up the room and only after looking at it with a scrutinizing eye and finding it acceptable did she decide to head out. Giving one last glance outside, she brightened when she saw the familiar blonde moving in the distance. The fates really were on her side today!
Practically bounding down the stairs, it wasn't long until she was emerging outside. Faced with the wide expanse of the outdoors, she felt almost paralyzed with nervousness. It reminded her a whole lot of when she had first approached Renard. She'd done it out of necessity at first, because that's what she'd always done in her previous households: latch onto a man for protection. The first few days she spent alone in a new house were always the worst, so when she'd first approached Renard she'd not only been nervous but also scared that he'd reject her.
There had been immense relief when he'd taken her in with open arms, but as she learned the dynamic of Mae's house over time, it became clearer and clearer to her that she didn't need Renard for protection. That's when her love for him as a person began, which introduced all sorts of new problems thanks to his polygamy. Still, it was the first time she'd really had the luxury to love someone, and she wanted this to work out as best as she was able. She understood now that that meant interacting with Renard in more contexts than just sexual liaisons though, so that's what she was trying for here. She wouldn't mind at all if their bonding turned into sex, but that was not the primary reason for her coming out to see Renard.
Taking a deep breath to steel her rapidly beating heart, she headed in the direction she'd seen Renard walking. She hoped that she wouldn't find Isaac or Jared out here on her way to Renard, and much to her relief that hope was founded. She met no one at all until coming upon the familiar form of Renard crouched in front of a plant and pruning it.
For a moment Vivian just watched him, with nothing but adoration for the man in front of her on her face. She could see his face a little from this angle and it wasn't the usual joviality that she was so used to seeing on it. Instead his features were set in concentration, paying close attention to exactly what he was doing. She wondered if her face also looked like that whenever she was working.
He still hadn't noticed her yet even after she stood there for a good minute, so she decided to take advantage of having the drop on him. A playful smile lit up her face as she quietly crept closer to him. Looming over him and waiting until he finished up a cut, she quickly moved in to cover up his eyes. She didn't say anything though, because she didn't want it to be that easy for him to guess who she was. Though really, she was the obvious answer in this context.
Except she wasn't.
The moment that Renard found his vision impeded, the expression on his face went from concentrated to smiling.
"Well these are not the usual hands I'd expect out in the garden."
Even though Vivian had assumed that he would think of her immediately, it was Kyrie that he had thought of first. She was the only one that had ever sought him out in the garden while he was working. Upon thinking about it though, he realized this probably wasn't Kyrie: even at her most comfortable, he'd never seen her so playfully bold like this. That left either Dessi or Vivian. Renard always went to Dessi if he wanted to play around with her, which meant that Vivian was the one who was behind him.
Setting down his pruning shears, he brought his hands up to take Vivian's hands off of his eyes before pulling her forward. She collapsed against his back with a soft giggle, and she accepted her newfound position on the floor behind him while Renard just held onto his newly captured hands.
"Good afternoon, Vivian. What brings you out into my domain?"
Renard's usual smile was present on his face, and Vivian's expression scrunched a little with disappointment. She had hoped that by coming out here she'd be able to see a different side of Renard, but it seemed like the moment he saw her he put up his usual demeanor. She couldn't exactly ask for him to act more like he'd acted the night of the attack though: not only would that bring up awful memories, but it was also way too blunt of a question for the subject matter. It just felt wrong of her to say something like 'stop giving me the same jovial expressions all the time!'
She had expected this to be so much easier: go see him in different contexts and get closer to him by catching him with a more unguarded expression. Instead of the ease she'd been expecting though, she was now finding that her goals were going to be much harder than she'd initially thought. Why couldn't Renard just open up to her a little more on his own? It's not like it was that hard! Perhaps she could say something that would tempt him into opening up a little more?
"I wanted to see you... Plus I've never actually seen you working before so I wanted to come out to visit."
Renard was rather skeptical of the idea that Vivian wanted to see him working: he could believe the comment if it came from Kyrie, but if it came from Vivian it was more likely that she wanted to just come out and see him. She'd never come out here before for an impromptu rendezvous, but it didn't feel much different than any of her usual methods of approaching him. As a result, Renard was quick to put up his usual roguish charm with her. It was strange how easily he could reveal his true thoughts and feelings to Kyrie, but with the rest of the women it was second nature to put up his walls. Kyrie had seen him at his most unguarded, so that's likely why it was so easy for him to not put up the act with her.
Renard lightly played with Vivian's fingers, pulling her in a bit closer so that her full chest was pressing up against his back.
"Well here you are. Is it really that different to see me working?"
His voice was taking on a slightly lower quality, but his tone was still rather playful. Rubbing her chest against his back, Vivian let out a soft hum of contemplation and maybe a little bit of lust. Still, she resisted that to a certain degree because she hadn't necessarily come out to have sex with Renard, she'd come out to spend some quality time with him. So far he was just acting the same as always though, and it frustrated and disheartened Vivian. Was he more used to people coming across him in the garden than she thought? It couldn't just be that Renard only ever had sex on his brain, right? She'd just seen him concentrating on his plants, after all. Why couldn't he share his thoughts with her?
The disappointment sunk down in her like a rock, and she moved her arms to wrap Renard in a tight hug, nuzzling her face against his back in an effort to comfort herself.
"It was a little... Before you knew I was here the expression on your face was different than anything you'd ever shown me."
This comment gave Renard a bit of pause. So it wasn't that she was interested in his work or interested in having a tryst out in the garden, it was that she wanted to get closer to him. Renard just wasn't entirely sure how to respond to a comment like that. They had been vulnerable to each other the night of the attack, but that was because there had been some seriously trying circumstances that made them too tired to keep up appearances. Vivian had come away from it wanting more of that, it would seem, but it was difficult for him to just reveal himself completely to her. He was positive that she wasn't going to like him as much if he did. At least, it had gone particularly poorly with most women minus Kyrie. It was so much easier to have relationships where he messed around and had fun and didn't have to worry about anything else.
A little unsure what to do now, Renard didn't respond or even really move for a couple seconds. It felt wrong somehow to just flirt with her like usual, but what else could he do, really? She was asking him to just be completely comfortable around her, to let down his defenses and work as he usually did. The problem with that was that Vivian would find that horribly dull. While he loved his work, to the outside observer it was still work; something that a person had to do but that they didn't feel particularly strongly about.
Letting out an imperceptible sigh, he concluded that maybe if he tried to include her in the work it'd be less boring for her.
"Alright, come here."
With that said, he moved Vivian's arms away from his body and turned to help her into his lap. Picking up the pruning shears that were nearby, he placed those in Vivian's hand, but he kept his hand over hers as a clear guide. For some reason, this whole thing caused Vivian's heart to race madly. Perhaps it was because he'd never invited her to join him with his garden work? Or maybe it was just that she was so close to Renard while he was sharing something immensely important to him? It was quite possible that it was a combination of both, but Vivian wasn't going to question it too hard, she just listened to Renard's voice as he spoke into her ear.
"So here's what I spend a lot of my time doing. See this branch that's clearly dead from how cracked the twig is and how the flowers have long since wilted? Just snip it off where that awfulness starts and you'll have a healthy plant once more."
He guided her hand to a couple of the dead pieces, moving quickly but smoothly as he went before letting her hand go to see if she could identify the right branches. She was much slower than Renard, but she was picking the right ones out just fine. Letting his hands lace together and rest on her stomach now, he then settled his chin on her shoulder.
"That's it. It's not too hard once you get the hang of it. Though Jared still can't seem to do it very well; we tend to leave the watering to him."
Renard chuckled softly at that, though as he watched her, he could feel his eyelids beginning to droop. He hadn't really been sleeping very well lately, not because Vivian kept him up or anything, just because his mind refused to stop turning. He'd been laying awake for hours after Vivian fell asleep for the past few nights, stewing on what had happened to the masters of the house and what a successful attempt on the masters would look like. It wasn't pretty, not even in the least, and it filled Renard with an impotent rage that he just couldn't seem to get over.
This was nice though, being out in the garden with Vivian. He may not be sure how to satisfy whatever it was that Vivian was looking for, but what he did know was that the atmosphere here was something he'd be more than happy to have more of. The steady stream of snips from the shears was a comforting sound to him, and having Vivian's warmth in his lap like this was equally pleasant.
Vivian could feel Renard getting heavier and heavier on her, and when she looked to the side, opening her mouth to say something to him she promptly closed it back up when she caught sight of him. His expression was entirely unguarded right now, and it revealed to her just how exhausted he was. Now that a smile wasn't morphing the lines of his face, she could see that there were mild dark circles under his eyes, and everything about him drooped now. Had he been having trouble sleeping lately?
… Why hadn't she known?
A little upset at herself for failing to notice her lover's state of being, she moved a hand up to gently touch the side of his face. Renard remained unperturbed, his breaths coming steadily while his eyes remained closed. A soft smile rose to her features as she gave his head the lightest of kisses. This wasn't a step in a direction she had expected, but this still felt like progress: Renard was comfortable enough with her to reveal just how tired he was. It was a little bit of a shame that he wasn't awake and talking to her, but what he really needed right now was sleep and she was happy to give him a reprieve. Vivian only wished he'd done it on an earlier night in a way that she'd been able to notice, but now at least she knew to be on the lookout for it.
Turning her attention back to the plants in front of her, she let Renard sleep as she continued his work, ultimately happy with how things had turned out this afternoon.
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