Capítulo 23: Bloody secrets (3)

Author's note: This is from Seraphina's point of view

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I plopped on the sofa in the master bedroom while trying to shake off the unpleasant feelings that swelled inside me during my talk with Calista over a glass of blood.

Guilt, anxiousness, dejection. There was even some anger mixed in.

I didn't want to reveal to Calista that I can absorb vitality, but she saw me drinking blood and I knew that unless I reveal something believable, we will be back to talking about Aldus and I didn't want her to know that he is in eternal sleep. I concealed one secret by revealing another.

I thought that she will be amazed by me drying up the plant and the talk will be over, but then it turned into something much bigger than I could imagine. Yes, I got the benefit of finding out some top-secret information, but it came at the price of Calista knowing that I have the ability specific to their bloodline and now I'm at risk of her telling her parents. Damn it!

If I knew it will go this way, I would show her that I can control air, but I have no idea how that would connect to me drinking blood.

I was careless, thinking that everyone is busy with something. Staff, Zoe, Luca, and Duke know about me drinking blood, and I relaxed. Too much.

I told Calista that only she knew about my ability, but actually, there were Krob and Duke as well.

Another lie on top of existing ones, but I don't regret this one.

Something whispered in the back of my mind that Calista shouldn't be aware that there are others who know about my ability, and for a moment, I had a feeling that she was threatening me. Did I imagine it? If she attacked me for real, would I be able to react on time and fight back?

Aldus told me to keep my guard up, always, against everyone, but I never imagined that someone close to me, like Calista, could become a threat.

Father said that only people close to us can betray us and that my faith in others will be my downfall.

His teachings made me question myself and others more than once. Is it wrong to assume that people are good until they prove otherwise?

My experience showed me that, at the end of the day, evil people will do evil things no matter if I doubt them or not and that me being cautious only makes my life difficult because I end up suffering even when the bullies are not paying attention to me. It's the anxiety of waiting for bad things to happen, expecting the worst, and wondering when it will happen and if I'm ready for it to the point of not enjoying good things in life.

But at the same time, I knew that Aldus was right as well. With me being immortal and joining the society of creatures, the stakes are much higher, and bullying won't be limited to talking smack and pushing me when no one is watching.

No matter how much I tried, I was unable to change my nature, but I did my best to adapt to the reality where I need to keep secrets, from everyone.

There was another reason for me to lie to Calista about who all knows about my ability. I was not sure if Calista is aware of Krob's existence and if she asked me about him, I would need to talk about underground labs or lie, and I didn't feel like doing any of those because I'm already tangled in a web of lies, and I didn't think I can handle more of them. It was best to omit those parts because labs (and Krob) are my father's secrets to tell, and mine to keep.

I was surprised to find out that feeding on vitality is a big deal, and it exists in the Mezzanotte bloodline.

How did I end up with it?

I have Aldus's DNA in me since the bracelet got embedded into my wrist, but my craving for blood started only after the incident when Duke was shot (and died), I passed out for three days, and Aldus ended up in eternal sleep.

I was confident that my craving for blood was a side-effect of Aldus sealing my ability, but after my chat with Calista, I was not so sure anymore.

It seems that I ended up with Aldus's ability. Somehow.

Well, there are a few ways to test this properly.

First, I could remove the seal that Aldus placed on me and see what happens. If I can release and absorb vitality at will, then this craving for blood is NOT a side-effect of whatever happened when I was knocked out for three days.

My mind swelled with doubts.

What if I end up in a situation where I can't stop my vitality from draining? Did my ability to release vitality evolve, or did I actually acquire Aldus's ability? Or is it completely unrelated and it got activated by the shock of me seeing Duke dying?

There was another thing I could test. Can I control the minds of vampires?

Maybe I should fetch a vampire or two and try mind-control and see if I have it in me. How would that go? Do I stare at my target and say, 'Look into my eyes…', and then I brainwash him?

If I end up messing with their minds I could put them in a medically induced coma and use them to perform tests related to eternal sleep. That would be two-in-one. I was not comfortable just snatching random vampires, but if they are known criminals, it could work.

I remembered Aldus's frequent warnings that I should conceal my abilities because the fewer people know about them, the safer I will be. I know that he meant well, but now I wondered if he was talking about himself.

He would always advise me that if anyone sees my abilities, the only way to truly protect myself is to dispose of all witnesses. I remember that when we went to handle rogues on Lazarus's territory, my father would kill them all, and then burn the corpses (what's left of them).

But Lazarus also knows that my father can kill creatures without touching them. Sure, maybe he is not aware of the logistics behind it (how they lose vitality) but Lazarus saw people turn into dried corpses within seconds and he knew it was my father's doing.

And there are also Zoe, Luca, and Ash. They were also present during one of the incidents. Now that I think about it, my father wanted to get rid of them… was he talking about placing them somewhere else, or about rid-rid of them, permanently?

If keeping his secret was so important, why did he allow me to adopt them? Why did he show it to me? He even explained how that's the way he feeds, and I remember Aldus teaching me how to extract vitality (using runes) when he found out that I can release it. Is it possible that he suspected I will end up with this ability and he was preparing me? No, that's absurd.

I know that Aldus is a doting father, but in the beginning, I was just an experiment to him and at that time, we only started getting to know each other.

Did he let me keep Zoe, Luca, and Ash as part of an experiment? Even if he did, I couldn't blame him.

I am grateful that Aldus provided me with numerous opportunities to learn and grow, but I'm most grateful for the fact that he allowed our relationship to evolve.

I really miss my father.

He would help me analyze everything and find the best approach, just how he always does.

To say that I'm overwhelmed is not an exaggeration.

My father is not available, Duke and I are starting our lives together (officially), he will awaken his wolf, blood oath, dangers, managing company and supply of alchemic products… and now this 'ability' that involves the Mezzanotte bloodline. And there are probably a few other things I forgot.

How much more can I handle before falling apart?

A pair of strong arms landed on my shoulders and started kneading gently, and I let out a small sigh as he applied just the right amount of pressure to relax me.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't hear when Duke entered the room.

His deep cello-like voice rang in my ears, "What got you worried, love?"

"Lies. Secrets.", I responded and craned my neck to see him observing me keenly from above. "It seems that my ability to drain vitality without drinking blood is something super-important for vampires and I need to conceal it at any cost because if they find out about it, they will want to capture me."

Duke nodded and smiled. There was some pride in his endlessly blue eyes.

"Aren't you worried?", I asked.

Duke circled around the sofa and sat next to me. He spread his arms, silently inviting me into his embrace and I scooted to sit on his lap without delay.

I fisted his shirt and welcomed eagerly his scent of pine trees mixed with the ocean that was all around me.

Duke kissed my forehead and tightened his hold on me.

"There will be a time when we are strong enough that we won't care who knows about our background or abilities.", he said. "Until then, I will protect you with all I've got."

I knew he meant it and for some inexplicable reason, the future was not so scary anymore. Well, we will either become strong to defeat our enemies or perish trying, together.

As long as I had Duke by my side, even death was not intimidating. Duke has the power to make my biggest fears shrink until they become negligible.

"Let's become strong together.", I said, and he hummed in agreement.

I sank into Duke and relished the feeling of safety and unconditional love Duke showered me with, and at that moment I knew that Duke is my pillar. With a hug and a few words, he can make me believe that anything is possible.

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