Capítulo 9: Naruto Still Needs Therapy
Naruto was currently standing on Hashirama Senju's head. He had been trying for weeks to contact the Kyuubi and nothing he attempted had worked so far...so now he would brute force it.
'This is dumb fucking idea and you're a dumfuck for doing it you god cursed idiot'
Then, he stepped off the head and plummeted to the base of the monument at about 110 kilometers per hour.
A resounding crunch was heard by the now *horrified* ANBU as Naruto hit the bottom.
Naruto definitely felt things break...and then passed out.
-----
Naruto woke up, groaning as he did so, in a sewer.
'thank god'
Slowly, he stood up, and hobbled towards giant block bars.
"Ohayo, Kyuubi-san!"
"What….what the fuck is wrong with you…"
"I couldn't find a way to talk to you."
"Y-you jumped off a cliff…"
"Yes."
"Why was it so urgent you talked to me!?"
Kurama couldn't be bothered to keep up the holier-than-thou act, he was so confounded by Naruto's actions.
"I want to start training with your chakra!"
Kurama couldn't hold it. He started guffawing in his cage.
"You...you jumped off a cliff...risking both our lives...for MY CHAKRA!?"
"Y-ess."
"Fuck it! Why not. Make it nicer in here, would you please?"
"Wait, just like that?"
"Kit, I can see your memories. I don't know what the hell you are, but you completely deconstructed my understanding of the world and I'm interested in seeing the arrogant pieces of shit that make up the Shinobi leadership system react to you."
"Huh. Well thank you."
"Yeah, tear off a piece of this seal, no bigger than a thumb."
"Will do."
-----
Outside
-----
"Oh fuckfuckfuck"
ANBU cat was currently going through a crisis. She just watched a nine-year-old boy walk off the Hokage monument with *zero* warning.
She had brought him to the hospital immediately, but Naruto's body was fucked beyond belief. She could hear the bones in his body crack into place as the bijuu chakra entered his system.
She sat for hours at his side, having sent another ANBU to the Hokage.
When he arrived she thought it might be one of her last moments on this Earth.
Hokage-sama was pissed and scared.
Eventually, Naruto woke up.
"H-hi Jiji."
"...Naruto-"
"I met him."
"Who?"
"Him."
"Naru- oh. Oh I see- did you jump off the Hokage monument to meet the de-him!?"
Naruto held an elective silence.
"Goddamnit Naruto! I just about beat the fear of god into Cat here."
'Oh shit the ANBU'
"Oh. Uh, sorry about that Cat. I forgot that you guys are still guarding me."
There was silence in the room again, before Cat left the room to scream in peace.
"Naruto, I don't think I can express my feeling about you jumping off a cliff to do this."
"I mean, it worked."
"You jumped off a cliff."
"Stop saying that, it makes me feel worse."
"As it fucking should, Naruto."
"...i-"
"What did the Kyuubi say?"
"I think I amused him. I'm going to train with his Chakra."
"Ohmygod Naruto- Why!? Why must you be like this!?"
This wasn't the first time Naruto had done something exceedingly dumb without permission. Hiruzen's reaction to Naruto teaching eight children how to make explosives was *gold*.
"... because I'm an orphan holding a giant Chakra beast that remained virtually unattended for 7 years in a village that hates me."
"That's-that's probably fair.", Hiruzen spoke with a sigh, placing a tired hand on his temple and looking down.
He put his face in his hands.
"Don't...do this again, okay Naruto?"
"Yes sir."
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