Capítulo 12: 12. If Not Now, Then When

"Of course." However, Charlos returned Reva's smile.

Every touch of Reva makes Charlos fall in love even more. Despite all the crazy facts that he had already faced. He would make Reva open-minded, but he didn't know how to convince Reva.

After finishing breakfast, they got into the car.

"I think you should go to Jakarta today."

"Yes, indeed," Reva nodded.

"Are we going straight to Jakarta now?"

"Yup! And today I will be your personal driver."

"And I'll be your personal guard. Hey! Did you bring them too?"

"Relax, Charl. It's just you and me today."

Charlos smiled as he put his seat belt on. Deep in his heart, he was delighted to be together with Reva.

"How was yesterday?" Reva asked. "Did you get your drama practice?"

"Yes, I did."

"You're actually in a drama, huh? I can't believe that." Reva chuckled.

"Of course! I'm very talented. You should see me later when I perform. Okay?" said Charlos proudly.

"We'll see. If only I was still in Indonesia."

Charlos turned silent. He realized that Reva was here only for a while. He will miss Reva so much.

"Hey! Why are you so sad? You also can't come when I'm at the Jazz Festival later. We're even," said Reva while holding the steering wheel, focusing on the road.

"You must be forgot. I told you that I would come. The distance from Singapore to Jakarta is only two hours. I can definitely come on time. You'll see. Go back to Singapore straight to the Jazz Festival. Agree?"

Reva laughed, "Okay, no problem."

Charlos smiled as he continued to look closely at Reva.

"Charl…." Reva glanced at him for a moment because Reva must return to saw the road. "Why do you keep looking at me?"

"Oh really?" Charlos was suddenly nervous. "I'm not looking at you."

His hand groped the player attached to the dashboard. His finger managed to press the play button. He heard the sound of guitar strumming at a fast tempo. The female singer's voice is very melodious. Charlos caught a few words from the singer. The singing is quite fast.

Take me as I am. If not now, then when.

"Charl, don't you like this song? I really admire B. I've been collecting her albums since the nineties. A few years ago, she also performed in Indonesia. Oh Charl, it's too bad that I didn't get to watch her performance," Reva sighed and then returned to Charlos. "Charl?"

There was a quiver in Charlos's heart that felt as if those words demanded. If not now, then when? Now or never. Charlos thought that he doesn't have so much time. His tongue was itching to say those simple words.

I love you.

Charlos slapped his forehead, and then he took a deep breath.

"What are you doing, Charl? Are you okay? Oh, please don't scare me." Reva looked at him with a severe expression mixed with concern.

It feels like Reva has often said those words on the webcam. Reva also often shows sincerity whenever Charlos is sad. But for some reason, at this moment, those words made his heart beat faster.

"Rev." Charlos could only stare straight at the road.

"Yes, Charl?" Reva replied softly.

"Do you think I'm weird or not?" asked Charlos, his tone serious.

"You were a strange person from the first time I know you."

Those words hurt Charlos so much. This time, Charlos really will never reveal his true feelings to Reva. Well, he's a strange person. Maybe he's the only one who thinks that this love is true. How could he make Reva open mind?

Charlos pouted. He folds his hands. Reva laughed bitterly. "You've been through hard times. Don't forget I've had hard times like you. We've been through it all together. So, I'd think you're weird if you're still moping around."

"I'm not moping!" shouted Charlos.

"Yeah! You were moping around just now. I don't know what's on your mind. You'd better not act like that again. We've already met. You should be happy to meet me."

"Of course, I'm very pleased to meet you, Rev."

Reva was right, Charlos thought. He still couldn't control himself. But it's not because of the past problems that make him gloomy. It's about his current feelings. The feelings of love that maybe he shouldn't feel.

"Are you hiding something from me?" Reva accused glanced at Charlos, still finding a sad expression on his face.

"What? No." Charlos changed his sitting position. He's not very good at lying. Suddenly he was busy pressing the play button again. MP3 turned into radio. Charlos back and forth the frequency. The voice of the radio was too loud.

"Why did you change the song?" Reva pressed the MP3 button. Charlos turned it back into radio. "Charl!"

Charlos laughed. "You drive. I want to listen to the radio."

Reva pressed the MP3 button again, and Charlos changed it into radio. They just kept pushing the play button. Finally, Reva laughed too.

The car slows down. They started queuing to get to the toll exit. Then, the car completely stopped.

Charlos squeezed Reva's hand as he was about to press the play button again. Charlos killed the player with his left hand. They looked at each other, and suddenly the atmosphere became quiet. Charlos could feel a heartbeat in his neck.

There was a loud honking sound from the car behind them. Charlos simultaneously let go of his hand. Reva glanced at the mirror above them and smiled. Reva stepped on the accelerator. Reva pays the bill at the toll booth. Then, they entered the Jakarta area. They didn't talk much after that.

Reva can rely on the GPS in the car. Soon they arrived in the Kemayoran area, passing the Jakarta International Expo. Reva pointed, "Well, I will perform there later. Semeru Garuda Indonesia Hall. I will perform on the eighth, half past ten at night. Don't forget it."

"Half past ten. I'll be ready!" Charlos put his hand on his forehead in respect. Reva laughed again.

Finally, they arrived at Hotel Borobudur. The personal guard opened the car door for them. Reva got off first and walked ahead of Charlos. A security guard got into the car and parked it in the VIP parking lot.

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