ZOYA
I lie down on my bed, still smelling Tyler all over me. I feel the scratch of his beard against my cheek, the callouses on his hands. His strong arms wrapped around me, his broad chest against mine, our hearts beating wildly. Even though we had only hugged for a few seconds, because of his height, I had felt small. It had felt so nice.
Why do I feel like this? Uncomfortable. Achy. Unsettled. I try closing my eyes in meditation. I try breathing. In and out. Slowly. Mindfully. Nothing works.
When I think of him, I feel...desire. It is desire I feel, the hot ache unspooling low in my belly, making my toes curl. I toss and turn, trying to make the feeling go away. I tell myself that this is best. No hockey players for me. No hockey in my life at all. I want something different, someone different. A guy like Tyler is bound to hurt me, and then I would have given in for nothing.