Capítulo 21: Monster inside my Head pt. 1
"Don't force it."
Kari's words rung inside Dustan's head. He watched his Master leave hurriedly, as if to run away from him. The sight of her back triggered unwanted memories of his past.
The fear of failure, of rejection—what a traitorous feeling it was indeed.
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How young.
Dustan's naïve thinking reminded me of my own foolishness. Looking through that lens brings about feelings of rage inside of me. I caressed my nape, my headache indicating the rise in my blood pressure.
And as if to confirm my suspicions, just moments later I began to feel light-headed. I rested in my room, unwrapping my chest so that I can breathe properly.
Resting helped clear my head a little. I spent the most of my morning laying on my bed, reading some of the books I had shelved. But then, I was startled by a knock on my door.
"Master Kari." Someone called out. They knocked again.
I sat up in surprise. Shit. I'm not wearing my disguise and I forgot to lock the door.
"What is it?" I asked, diving towards my clothes. I started to put my disguise on.
"The Tower has finished distributing the papers for the tournament all over town. We have already opened up registration for the challengers."
Wait, they already finished...? I looked at the time. It was already way past lunch time.
"Great. Do a head count and put their papers in my study. Anything else to note?" I asked, trying to seem unfazed. Alright, I'm done with the bandaging.
"Count Graf also sent you a letter. Shall I hand it to you?" The door knob started to turn.
I panicked, running to my sheets and covering myself. "NO! No. Just put it in my study and I shall look at it at a later time."
The door knob stopped turning.
"Yes, Master Kari." Footsteps receding echoed in the hallways. I let out a sigh of relief.
But that moment of solace was immediately gone when the door suddenly burst open.
"You—!" Alva stopped mid-cry. I flinched, hugging the sheets closer to my body.
"Why the hell are you in here?!" I exclaimed in fury.
"Master, I apologize. He—" Hund began, only to be cut off by Alva's boisterous laughter.
"Is the Master playing by himself in his castle?" He goaded.
I blushed, embarrassed that they caught me in such an awkward position. But, I couldn't let go of the sheets and go up to punch him—lest I would be exposed and my real gender be known.
"Do you not have any sense of decency, child from a noble bloodline?" I reproached.
Alva was still laughing. "What decency! Look at you, naked in your room. Were you perhaps pleasuring yourself while your disciples worked their asses off? What right does this debauched man have to talk about decency." He said in a condescending tone with his hands on his hips. I flinched.
"I was changing clothes!"
"In mid-day? I think not." Alva stepped closer, to which I immediately recoiled. He smirked.
"What's the matter, Master? Why won't you bare you skin to us? We are men, after all. Why the bashful reaction?"
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words were caught in my throat. My heart was pounding in my chest, a testament to the fear inching in my mind.
With every step Alva took towards me, I stepped back. Soon, my back hit the wall and I felt trapped like a small critter. Alva was mere feet away from me.
"Stop." It was Hund. He intervened, just before Alva was within my zone.
Alva looked annoyed at Hund. "Step aside, dog."
"That is not the way you talk to your senior disciple." I found my voice.
"That means nothing to me." Alva attempted to push Hund aside.
"Do you wish to incur Dustan's displeasure then?" I prodded. The mere mention of Dustan's name worked wonders for Alva. Immediately, the lad stopped. He looked at me, albeit vexed, before he finally stepped away.
As he walked away, he said these ominous words. "There will come a day when your secrets shall be uncovered." He left.
I looked at Hund and the man immediately lowered his head.
"I apologize for disturbing you, Master. Alva wanted to spar, and we came to ask for permission. If I had known you were unavailable, I—" Hund explained.
"It does not matter. I was the one at fault this time. Go back to the others. I shall join you after clothing myself." I resigned.
He walked out of my room and closed the door behind him. I went to the door and locked it. Putting on lose fitting clothes and my vest, I went out.
"Alright, time for some spar." I cracked my knuckles, smiling forcefully at Alva as soon as I was in the training grounds.
"The pervert is here." Alva smirked. He stepped forward as both Dustan and Hund inched back and eyed me cautiously. I gestured for the lad to attack.
"What did he do?" I heard Dustan ask.
"... It's a long story." Hund replied.
I remained impassive as Alva dashed towards me.
As soon as he was within my zone, I took the initiative and used both fists to hit his core. Alva coughed, unable to react in time to dodge or parry.
Giving him no time to rest, I repositioned myself behind him and kicked his back. The force sent him skidding a few feet from me. I rushed towards him and planted my fist on his gut.
Rage burned in the pit of my gut.
Bloodlust.
I could almost feel my sanity slowly slipping, and the instinct to kill had never felt more alive in me.
"Alva!" Dustan's voice called out.
My fist stopped mid-hit. Only then did I really snap out of it. I was panting for breath, straddling Alva as he lay there on a bloody mess.
I felt confused. It was undeniable that I lost control over my own strength. The thought unnerved me.
I had never lost control of myself before. In fact, I prided myself with perfect control over my actions and emotions. But this—it was as if someone took hold of my control.
I was surprised when Hund's hand came in contact with my skin. He immediately withdrew his hand.
"Master, you are burning." He commented.
I looked at my hands, glancing at Alva and Dustan. The sleeves of my shirt looked singed and I realized I was... smoking.
"He needs help!" Dustan yelled, caressing Alva's head in his lap.
"... Hund, call the doctors." I instructed.
The man left immediately. Walking closer to Alva and Dustan, I could not help but feel mystified. Dustan looked calm as he tried his best to keep Alva conscious.
His actions—it was as if he was not at all worried.
The red liquid trickled down on Alva's chin and on the floor. His blonde hair was slowly dyed with the same color as my eyes.
"Monster!" A voice echoed in my head. I massaged my temple at the sudden headache I was getting.
Things kept getting worse as Alva lost consciousness. And I did not even have the mind to perform first aid despite my medical background.
My head was ringing. And, only one thing circulated my thoughts.
What the hell just happened?
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