Capítulo 14: Hijacked...

There was a long silence. Emotions were high on both sides. But this release of pent-up emotions was their way of self-healing.

"So, you chose him over us?" Aman said after a while.

"All night long…I kept vacillating between my love for you, the promise we made and this marriage. I weighed my options, turned them over and over and tried to see them from different angles and perspectives: yours and mine, father's, brother's and our people. I realized father said was right. We do have an obligation towards our people. And I knew brother will prove to be a good ruler because like father he also cared for our people."

"He is a good man.... righteous and hard working – I will give him that. He has done a lot of good work for his people."

"It was my faith in him and concern for the greater good of our people that made me make that choice."

"And you were accusing me?" Aman finally showed his wounds. "How could I have fought for you when you shut me out completely? I tried to call you…to reach to you, but they wouldn't allow it. My calls… messages…letters - all were destroyed."

"I am sorry." – she said, "But the pain of separation was all too consuming. All these years I have lived with this guilt."

"You need not apologies to me. We are beyond such formalities. I just want you to see your own heart and understand the reason why things went the way they did."

"It is painful nonetheless." She moaned

"Excruciatingly painful" –he sighed. There was a long pause before he spoke again. "But our trials are over. Now that we have found each other, I'll not let you go again. I will tie you to me with a chain before you find more excuses to give me up entirely."

Though she made no reply but she knew in her heart that they could not go on forever. Someday he will want more and she will be required to put a seal on their love. She feared that they might falter and not measure up to each other's expectations.

This one thought brought in many similar thoughts; they led her to believe that their separation was inevitable. To be torn apart once was painful enough, but to be separated again would be like death. She began dreading each day and every moment.

Soon enough, her fears found their validation in the form of a question. "Don't you love me?" – he had asked. At first, it was put forth casually, but its intensity kept growing with each passing day until it became absolutely unavoidable for her to answer.

"Yes." she said.

He was thrilled. "Imagine our life together. How happy we will be together. You belong to me, not him."

She knew this was coming and wanted to delay it as far and as long as she could, but he had cornered her and made any escape impossible. "But..." she said meekly

Aman had guessed her hesitation. He was anxious to seal the deal. "There is no love between you two, there is not even a relationship. Nothing binds you to him, neither love nor friendship. Has he fulfilled his role as a husband?"

She was quiet.

"He hasn't. He has just given you a good house to live in and he is providing you with basic necessities of life – that's it. Nobody can call it a marriage."

"I can't break my promise to my father." – she said passionately. "And then there are those vows I had taken at the time of my marriage. I can't possibly break them."

"But they were broken even before you took them!" – he argued; "He has never kept them….and you know it…if he did, then you would not be hurting. If he loved you then your wounds would have healed by now. But they are lacerating."

Myra was quiet. He knew that he was right.

"You have fulfilled your duty towards everyone – your people, your father and your brother and even your husband. Can you help it if he does not reciprocate your love? You have a right to be loved and cared for. How long do you think you can carry on this sham? There is no marriage here whatever else it might be." He admonished.

Her heart melted and poured out of her eyes. She felt as if years of misery had finally found their validation. She admitted to herself that she had yearned for her husband's love, that she was confused at his estrangement. She even tried to please him, to win his attention and his affection: but all to no avail.

She allowed her wounds to ooze blood; allowed herself the comfort of a deep and plentiful weeping. She wept for every unheeded emotion, for every feeling that had been crushed, for all the hours of lonesome bewilderment. She let them all out of her heart and released them into the universe.

Her gratitude towards Aman was boundless. Now she understood what her father meant that night, when he said that it would not be easy. He knew all along that this will always be a business deal not a relationship. Only she was stupid enough to think that she could change it. That she could melt her husband's heart and win his love.

She realized that in this great game of life we are all just players. Each one of us have chosen roles that suit our character the best. This life that she had chosen, suited her disposition the best because she has always been the more giving one in any relationship. Her father knew her well enough and trusted this quality in her. He knew she will never betray him.

With this renewed conviction, she thus spoke: "What you ask is impossible because self-sacrifice is my character. I love you deeply. Even if I run into your arms, I will never be able to live freely because of the guilt of betraying my father.

"Do you mean to give me up then? or would you like us to carry on our affair endlessly?" he retorted.

"Affair?" – she was stunned to stupefaction; it sounded profane. Belittling of every thought, every emotion that was intertwined with him. Ever since she had known herself, she had thought his thoughts, felt his love…he was the very spring of her existence, they were twins. How could he demean it all with 'an Affair'?

"Yes, that's what they will term it…a dangerously 'scandalous affair'." Aman said emphatically. "Is this fair to your husband and your father?"

"What we have…this…its not an affair." – she protested vehemently. "You can't cheapen it with that term – it's not an affair. All it is…at least, we are not…this is not..." she was struggling for the right words.

"You may think of it as you please, but others will not be so charitable." He said in a matter-of-fact manner.

"Myra, come to the library immediately." came the voice of Kulbhushan Raichand over the phone. Both Myra and Aman were shocked. "Who is it?" –Aman demanded.

"Mr. Vice-President, I would advise you to stay away from my daughter-in-law, otherwise I will not hesitate to expose you." Saying so, he disconnected the line.

comentario 0 comentario

Votar

ENVIAR REGALO

Load failed, please RETRY