Capítulo 163: Chapter 163: FLEETING SMILES
Ken breathed out in frustration,
Seeing that his hard work bear little fruition.
His life shifted big, his chest filled with grief,
How can people count on someone,
On which himself don't fully believe.
Mar sat on his side,
Thinking of how to talk to his sad brown eyes.
She had never felt so mute,
So unsure of what to tell this man,
His expression felt so new.
"Go on." Ken finally spoke,
But his tone was raspy, a bit broke.
She swore she heard him sniff as if he was fighting tears,
"How are you? You don't look too okay to me."
"I thought I'm over this...hopelessness,
But like before, powers or not, I still feel useless.
Sure, I can see the future's little bits,
But...how can it help when I can't change it?
I am...growing impatient, I can't stand this sore feeling anymore,
Even with sir Raphael healing me, it still feels painful as before,
I can't...and I didn't asked for this,
I really thought I'd finally be able to do this but...
I'm so worried of what could happen,
I'm not...I'm not confident enough I could do it."
"Then put your trust on someone higher,
God will help you, no matter."
Ken looked at her, feeling stupid,
Ah, yes, it should be all simple.
He's thinking too much of himself,
He forgot to put his trust on someone else.
He sighed and laughed at his forgetfullness,
"Your faith is doubled mine, now I feel pathetic.
I forgot the most important thing,
With God, I can do anything."
Mar giggles as she looked at him smile,
"Don't speak too highly of me, I was not that faithful back then,
But...hardships changed me, and now that I can see,
Till now I'm alive, God truly loved me.
I thought He forgot about me when I grew up in the battlefield,
But...they were all but challenges, not meant to shatter me.
And even if I'm not gifted with a perfect princessy life,
At least now I can see, we've all had our strife.
I can't blame you when you feel down,
Because sometimes, I do too,
But you know what, it's just normal,
You're not a perfect guy anyways,
You don't always have to act cool."
"I should know that, but...I wish I really could,
But do you really think, that the world will be devoid of evil,
That it can be overpowered by good?
After all, you saw how many more are trapped in their domain,
And saw even before, how greed made way for this to take place."
"I know...and maybe more people would really be slained than saved,
But we're not in the place to question,
we're just humble slaves.
And we should accept that, but do everything you can,
The world may be changing, but never should be your heart.
I can see that people were beginning to doubt you too,
I saw the way they look.
I heard them whisper, especially the tasked fighters,
But you know what? Who are they to question?
You are human, you are weak on your own,
Like all of us are, since we were born.
Without His guidance, we are powerless and frail,
And so trust Him more, as they always say.
You are there not because of luck,
You are there, alive, because that is what He wants.
Perfect people, not a thing exists,
So you know what I think?
Just do your best and win.
Yeah, your body's sore,
Yeah, you have time moving forward,
But nothing comes easy in life.
There is no such thing as a permanent smile."
Ken smiles warmly and nodded his head,
Looked at his hand, whose scarred and bare.
He crumpled his fists and recalled the very day,
Where his worst problem was zombies,
And running away.
Or when his problem was just his mother,
Who kept pushing him to the edge,
Making him feel insignificant,
Just because he looks like his father?
Or maybe that's just what she is,
A heartless monster.
Seeing him as nothing more but a disposable toy,
Some additional mouth to feed,
He didn't understand why she chose to keep him.
When she didn't even act like he wanted him.
Hah, maybe Ken was wrong all along,
Maybe this isn't the first time he encountered a torturous devil,
Maybe he had a devil presented to him earlier on,
Broke him mentally, drived him insane,
Made him lose potential to grow.
Tsk, maybe that's why he had such low self-esteem.
Because no matter what he did before,
It always falls short for her mother's dreams.
He was not good enough, like his father was,
Always compared,
Never deserving of trust.
Are devils like that?
Making you feel less about yourself?
Making you feel like you're owned?
Giving no solutions,
But plenty of problems?
Ken smiles, recalling the nights he lost his mind,
The bits of pain he felt from cutting his arm,
Oh, it's all coming back.
And he hated that it does.
"I don't think devils are capable of change."
Mar looked at him quickly, as he said that, barely even blinked.
Her thoughts went to Elenchos,
Oh how was he now?
"Not all, maybe, but I like to think they do.
After all, everyone are given a chance to...
right?"
The seer was shocked that he spoke outloud,
But nodded at her answer, but pondered on it somehow.
But he couldn't answer straight ahead,
After all, it seems like only Michael,
Had some empathy left.
Lluming hated them a hundred percent,
And Selaphiel don't trust them any bit.
Even the devil Samael was still guarding and waiting to be trusted,
As Selaphiel watches him carefully, almost never blinking.
Devils are not humans.
And they feel little remorse,
Mar may have been lucky to find Elenchos,
But if she had been in someone else's hands,
Her train of thoughts would be inversed.
Ken recalled his encounter with Azazel,
The pain he felt when he poke his eye out of its socket.
Ken quickly held his eye, who had lost its brown orb ever since,
Feeling shivers crawl to his spine,
"I think..."
He tried to, as hard as he could,
But can he really forgive such creatures, who does no good?
He wanted to feel sorry for them, of course he do,
But whatever their drive is for hurting others,
Is no excuse to let them pass by as they want.
He thinks that after all his hardships and the people he lost,
His only merciful action would to take their lives as cost.
Letting them off freely is just a stupid thing to do,
He's not as forgiving, he never forgets pain,
though that also does him no good.
"I said that..
Because... they remind me of someone.
If ever she changes, at this point,
I don't think I'd forgive her, no matter how hard I try,
I won't look at her a second time.
And if I cannot forgive that person,
Then I cannot forgive those devils either.
After all, they did more damage to humanity,
They deserve consequences, they could have changed earlier on,
But that's not the story.
They refused to change, and they never will.
They dedicated their existence, to dooming humanity.
And do you think they deserve our pity?
You may be forgiving, but sometimes, you shouldn't open your heart for everybody.
The rotten should be extracted from the tree,
Like how the devils should be defeated, as should be.
A hero's duty may be to save as many as he can,
But remember, you shouldn't always struggle to emphatize with the villain.
Tsk, they don't even do the same to you.
They're pathetic, making their sad stories as an excuse.
I hate those people, acting like they're burdened by the world,
Having their problematic states make others suffer more."
Ken sure looked like he was holding back his tears,
Remembering further his mother who refused to love him all these years.
How pathetic, he never felt like he could do anything that would sow good results,
Just because that's how his mother always thought.
"Tsk. I...I'd like to change topic.
But that's my point. We shouldn't feel sorry,"
"Ah, I understand now, but isn't it nicer to have them on our side?"
Ken may love her,
But she was obviously blind.
Just one kind demon she encountered in her life,
And she thinks everyone had to be given the same chance.
His smile surely fleeted, afraid that Martha could get in trouble,
If she openly trusts anyone,
If only she could understand him better.
She may have been born in war,
But she had people to rely on,
And she always had the heart,
The heart to help, the heart to understand,
They had different pain and battles,
Different views and wants.
She was loved by her family,
Although faced more hardships,
While Ken was devoid of attention,
And was treated as thin as air,
No clear relationship.
And as the silence grew between them,
He still couldn't answer,
Although his mind was set.
The only thing he wishes for those who harm others willingly,
Is a slow, painful death.
He smirked, more determined,
His pure hopeful smile fleeted,
His motivation, now tainted,
He'd kill those monsters,
Just to prove to his mother,
How wrong she is,
For telling him he's worthless.
Ah, for the first time,
He's doing something that's not dictated.
"Ken?" She asked, rather worried,
But Ken stood up, confident, and in a hurry.
"I feel like extending our training today,
Don't worry, I'm all good,
And I'd win either way."
But what Mar saw,
Was not the same Ken who cared,
What he saw was a desperate boy,
Who was tired of listening to what others has to say.
"I'll call Sir Lluming now,
And I promise you,
This time, I'm prepared."
REFLEXIONES DE LOS CREADORES 
tigerpaws
tigerpaws Thank you for reading! More chapters soon!!!
Good night!
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