Capítulo 21: THE PSYCHIATER
I was reluctant to accept this patient, from whom I will begin such an unofficial report. Borges is a longtime friend. We have so much history together, that these ties of the past are constantly claimed in the favor loans between one and the other. Before I became a prestigious psychiatrist, I was a receptionist at a major automotive company in the capital and that's how I met the detective. He benefited from my extensive network of contacts and the ease of searching for information, and I was, in a way, attracted by the glamor of his profession, so valued by Hollywood. I was unaware of the link between him and his new friend, Reinaldo. But I knew that I would have problems ahead. I was anxious, even in the office. I smoked a cigarette before to calm down. Only when he started to speak did I feel the security of those on the other side of the couch. - And when did you come back from your "vision"? Was he still there, on the road, with the doe? - I asked. He looked at the ceiling with his hands folded and when he spoke it was serene and precise.
- No. I came back somewhere else, very far away. Too far from everything, actually. On the federal highway, on the city limits. I felt the effects of that place on my body. As if caught and forced to enter a tight box full of stones, I was thrown from the top of a hill. It is the closest I can compare to what I endured at that time. Or rather, I couldn't stand it. I fell on my knees on the edge of the asphalt and then I slipped, conscious, but defeated. With nothing more than yearning but death. - We have thirty minutes. You talk about dying again. Yearning for death is something very recurrent in his troubled trajectory. But in particular on your last adventure, you said something that caught my attention. In your words did you: "Travel in time", - travel in time? - Yes and more than that. I was inserted in someone else's story. A lonely sufferer that I identified with. Someone who seems to suffer from the same disease that afflicts me. Poor thing. - Are they connected by the book? - I do not know. I left a story in the book unfinished. But in the church they warned me about the doe and yes, it's from the book. As much as I didn't want it to be. - All of this, Reinaldo, is taking on ever greater proportions. In psychiatry we usually say that people who have a dissociative reality disorder tend to wander around both worlds, the real and the imaginary or impalpable. But when she prefers to flee, either through drugs or without their help, and accept what is impalpable as her reality, she can no longer differentiate the two and can choose limbo as her home forever. Well, I'm a psychologist and not a psychiatrist, although I was introduced to you as such. So I will treat you like a psychologist. I want to see you at least twice a week so we can work on all of this better. It will be a long and difficult process, but you cannot abandon therapy. For your sake. While the patient, who now sat down, stared at me, I looked away to the left corner of the room, where there was a decorative plant pot. Here is why this report is not official, gentlemen.
In front of me, as real as that man who now perceived the phenomenon, yellow rays of light streaked the air and a body materialized, which after a while proved to be a large animal, like a deer. - The doe! - My patient said scared. He got up and stood beside me facing the animal. - I need your help. I'm stuck on the day of my death. I am suffering. I do not want it anymore. Help me! I can't stay long. Meet me. That's what the animal said. I could no longer consult with my patient. I was not able to help him when I needed help myself. - I think that ends our session, others. After that I doubt that you will want to continue with me. - Certainly, what we saw here today goes beyond our relationship between doctor and patient. But still if you are willing I would like to help you.
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