I always expected that I would leave and never return but I did not ever think he would leave. Abruptly just like ghastly clouds or wind passing by. By the time he had left, he had already bid the important people in his life goodbye. For weeks it had not registered that he did not want anything to do with me but after he packed up and left. I knew he was dead-set on leaving me in his past. It was only right, I left him in my past too. I gave birth blissfully with the help of my mother and aunt Ruth. I call it blissful because the blessing of having a child had me overwhelmed with joy. He was so small and beautiful. His cry made my heart falter, his little lungs exercising their capacity, breathing up and down. His tiny fingers bawled in a fist. For a long while, I had absolutely no idea if I'd be having s boy or girl, I was open to both.