Capítulo 297: burdens of the past (1)
{The attack was honestly a joke. Valeria could have blocked it in her sleep and with her hands tied to her back. But… she didn't. She just froze in place and her mind completely shut down. I'm currently completely blocked out of her mind and all I can tell is that she's not getting better. In the end, Titus appeared out of nowhere and blocked the shot.}
I see…
I walk closer to Valeria and stand opposite her. I don't feel like sitting, I don't even feel like talking to her but she is my senior coworker so I'll have to deal with her in the future whether I like it or not.
She can tell that I'm there. Her entire body became taught the moment I got close. It's as if she's bracing for impact. Only that this impact isn't at all physical in nature so bracing for it like that won't help.
I just gaze down at her.
"Why?"
There are many things I want to say at that moment. Most of them born from a primal rage of a father who just got so close to losing one of his precious daughters. I'm still present enough to notice that most of the negativity I'm feeling is directed at myself. For letting this situation happen in the first place. But things have already happened.
Thus, all I do is ask, why.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I'll-"
As Valeria launches into a distraught apology that only serves to make everyone involved feel worse, I interrupt her. I suddenly step forward, grab her head with both hands and force her to look up from her hands and at my face that is only a breath away from hers.
Whatever she sees in my face, it hits her like a truck but I don't care. I lock eyes with her and repeat my question, this time more specifically.
"Why didn't you try to protect them? You were there, weren't you? You could have acted."
She looks at me with teary eyes. There's fear in those eyes, not of what I can physically do to her but fear of my indentity as a beacon of her guilt.
"I froze. She said… she said…"
"That it was your fault that Cassidy was going to get hurt?"
"N-not t-tha-t *sob* she called her *sob* my…"
Valeria burst into tears and can't possibly finish her sentence. I let go of her head and step back. What did that rude lady call Cassidy again?
{Sister…}
"She called Cassidy your sister. Do you have a sister?"
{She does not! Lord winter has only one daughter, he never adopted another child and there are no news of any bastard children of his or his wife.}
"I did."
The sobbing has lessened and while Valeria is still crying, she recovers enough to somewhat answer me. However, I find it concerning that Valeria's answer doesn't coincide with that of Navi.
Navi is an almost omnipresent spectator in our lives and minds ever since we died. Even if Valeria can partially block her out, it's still concerning that Navi knows both of this alleged sister. I need to know more about this.
"Elaborate."
"She's not my sister by blood *sniff* father brought her from an orphanage. To get around the curse she was kept hidden from the public. We were raised as equals but I was the only one allowed to go out. They told her that she was too sick to go outside."
{That would explain why no one knows about this sister of hers. But can that curse really be gotten around like that?}
What curse?
…
Nevermind, I'm better off not knowing.
"I assume something happened?"
Valeria's crying intensifies but she keeps talking.
"I overheard my parents discuss the curse. It crushed me, Lumi noticed and pressured me until I told her. She got angry and stormed into our parents' bedroom. Father, he- he-"
Valeria can't finish the sentence as her sobbing reaches a new level of intensity.
Based on what I've heard, I can fill in the gaps. Lord Winter killed her sister for disobeying his wishes. He then told Valeria that it was her fault that her sister had died. Valeria was consumed by guilt and ended up here after dying in the dungeon.
She as all traumatized peopletend to do, pushed down every memory related to the incident. However, my daughters reminded her of her sister and the memories started coming back. Then, the rude lady said it was her fault her sister got hurt and everything came rushing back in. Her mind was overwhelmed and she froze.
Ah, crap. Now I really can't bring myself to blame her for what happened. I want to yell at her some more but that would just be cruel.
"Sigh. I'll have you know that I am still mad at you for endangering my daughter's life, but… I forgive you for what you did. You are burdened enough with the guilt you already carry."
She halts on her crying. Her tear-filled eyes look at me in confusion.
"You forgive me? But-but I… I…"
"You screwed up real bad, yes. But you already feel bad enough about it without me adding to that."
"But why?"
"But why what?"
"Why forgive me?"
"I guess that is what I'd want someone to say to my daughters if they did something similar. I don't want you to just keep suffering for something that wasn't truly your fault in the first place."
When I say that she just starts crying again.
{Don't worry, this is the good kind of crying.}
So she accepted that I forgave her?
{No, she noticed how much you cared and how kind you are. The forgiveness was part of it but comparing her to your daughters seems to be more significant. I don't think she ever experienced any form of fatherly care.}
With lord Winter as her father I don't doubt that. Still, if so little care means so much to her, she hasn't had it easy.
{We've tried to provide her a conductive environment but Darwin isn't much of a father figure and I'm… not enough of a mother to handle those things.}
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