Capítulo 175: Frail mishap (2)
My parents came to visit me and promised to get justice for me when I told them that someone had shoved me...
But justice didn't come.
Multiple students from my class said they had seen me fall by myself. Without witnesses supporting my claim, it was my word against that of all other students present. Coupled with the lawyers sent by the producers because one of their idols was being sued the case was dropped in court.
The only thing I had left now was my excellent hearing. To tell the truth my ears had become even better since the incident and I could easily overhear the nurses and doctors in the hallways outside. But soon that enhanced sense of hearing brought me even more misery.
Only a month or two after my accident I heard my parents talking outside my room. They were having a fight and the reason was me.
"We have suffered enough! Come to your senses. Can't you see that we are being dragged down by her?"
"She's our child!"
"And we took care of her for all these years! I'm not saying we should leave her to die but I think we need to start anew."
"What do you mean?"
"Let's have another child."
"How can you even suggest that! We couldn't even protect our first child!"
"Was that our fault? She was already that way when she came to this world. Now she is tied to that bed for the rest of her life and we need to suffer with her?"
"But who would take care of her?"
"The nurses and doctors at the hospital. We'll sign her up for a permanent stay with the money given by the government. Then we'll have lots of time to start a new life."
"Do you really think we should try to have another child?"
"We deserve happiness."
Did I not deserve happiness too?
"Alright, we'll try."
Then they had entered my room and said sweet words to me about how they loved me and cared about me and so much more.
I hadn't the heart to expose their lies. It wouldn't have changed anything. If at all it would have only made the divide between us bigger.
I spent many days alone in that hospital bed. The nurses would enter from time to time but they were always busy and didn't have the time to talk to me.
One or two tried to spend some time with me after they got off work but that too didn't last long.
I had nothing else to do so I decided to just listen. I picked up everything that was said in the hallway outside my room and with time I even heard what was said in the adjacent rooms.
It kept me busy but also made me sink deeper into misery and self-pity. So many people around me were getting better! I wasn't.
I overheard the nurses talking about how I now had a little sister. Since then my parents hadn't come to visit me even once.
I had been replaced.
I had been abandoned.
Abandoned by my friends, teachers, parents, even fate itself.
Over the next three years, I continued to wallow in misery and slowly a new feeling grew inside me. It wasn't hate, not despair. If I had to pick a word for it I'd call it disdain.
I looked down on those people who I thought were heartless monsters who cared only for their own selfish benefit. I mentally ridiculed the doctors when I heard them say things like "it's my duty to help you" or "It was the right thing to do".
Their Hippocratic oath was a joke to me.
Over the course of the next year, I began to feel better. I wasn't getting better though. My condition remained as it was, hopeless.
But I had begun to feel joy at the suffering of others. I rejoiced at every bit of misfortune that befell those I disdained so much.
I drew power from their pain and their wails of agony as they too lost something that couldn't be brought back. Every other permanently broken person made my fate seem more bearable. Every day my smile grew more vibrant and pronounced.
"Something good must have happened for you to smile like that."
One day I suddenly heard a voice next to my bed while I was smiling especially hard at the fact that a young couple had just lost their child in the next room.
I hadn't heard anyone enter my room. I was completely flabbergasted at the presence of someone in my room. I heard every step people took so how did I miss his? Was I too absorbed in listening to what was happening in the next room?
"Why so silent? Won't you tell me what caused that brilliant smile?"
"Who are you?"
"I am Darwin, an adventurer."
"Why are you here?"
"You see, my job involves a lot of killing so as a counterbalance I sometimes come to hospitals with kids like you and see if I can cheer you up. But you already seem quite cheery, won't you tell me why?"
"The couple next door just lost their child."
He paused. I could feel the confusion on his face despite being unable to see anything.
"Then why were you smiling?"
"Isn't it nice to know that other people also don't deserve happiness?"
I didn't care that he would be angry at my words. I actually wanted him to be mad. I wanted to ruin his day even if it was just one. I mentally prepared for him to scold me and tell me that such behavior was highly inappropriate. But he didn't scold me.
"What makes you believe that you don't deserve happiness?"
He sounded more shocked than before. As if the fact that I believed I didn't deserve happiness was more revolting to him than my joy at the young couples misfortune. I wasn't expecting such a response and froze for a few moments.
What made me think I didn't deserve happiness?
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