I calm down just in time for lunch. I correct the makeup and check that the hair is in order.
The maids left my chambers when I started throwing things around after they refused to listen to my commands. I've been alone ever since, so nobody saw me crying on the sofa.
The Duke came only once, begging me to give him time to explain. As a response, he received a flying carafe.
Before going out, he said that he will prove to me that he has no ill intentions. It actually sounded more like a threat than a promise, but I didn't even turn to glare at him.
After a morning full of tantrums, I'd like to lie down and sleep forever. Still, a Duchess has duties to fulfil.
He destroyed my country because of a wish. How would he react if I ruined his? But to do that, I need more power than what I have now. I need to form social connections and understand how things work around here.
In the meantime, I can't let the Duke suspect anything, or he'll stop me.
First of all, I can't forget that he made so much planning to have me in his hands. I can't predict his moves, and he may try to kill me now that I've seen his real face.
If I keep the tantrum going on for too long, he'll get bored and make me disappear. At the same time, if I gladly accept any explanation, he'll suspect that I'm plotting something.
He had someone in the palace, in Polis, reporting him about me. That's the only explanation I can think of. He does know about me to a frightening point. However, the Theodora he is used to is a queen, not a duchess. She's a ruler, known for her sense of justice and her patience.
That person died when her country fell.
Theodora, the Duchess, isn't on the top, so she has the right to strive for more. She can become greedy, she can strive for richness. She can make mistakes and blame them on others, and she can gossip. There is so much freedom in being a duchess.
When I'm satisfied with my image, I walk out and head to the Duke's chambers. I knock, paying no attention to the stares I receive in the hallway. What is there to judge in a wife looking for her husband? Are the people here so strict?
When the Duke opens in a huff, he starts to shout something. He stops a moment before talking when he realises that it's me.
«I'm ready,» I say, simply.
He's in a worse state than what I was a few minutes ago. Still, it's his problem. I didn't ask him to do anything of what he's done.
I smile gently, and I can swear that I see the Duke thrilling. Why is he already suspicious? How detailed were the reports he received if he knows what I'm thinking by looking at my expression?
«Aren't you going to show around your new wife?» I ask, seeing that he's not moving. «Words of our argument must have reached the whole court, and we will confirm it if we don't go to that lunch. Together.»
He's a crazy bastard, so he must be happy to have a chance to be with me, right? And those few, harsh words must smooth his suspicions at least for now.
«Come in for a minute,» he utters while starting to fix his clothes. «I need to talk with you.»
«I'm not willing to listen,» I say, but I still step in and close the door behind my back. «You better save your energies for another time.»
«Will you ruin my reputation for good?»
«And stain mine at the same time? No, I won't do that. I still have some self-preservation instinct. You're the one that is letting me live, so I can't do you any damage. You did a marvellous job, your grace. I'm under your complete control.»
Or at least, that's what you want to hear. Isn't it?
«I don't dislike having you under my complete control,» he whispers to my ear, passing an arm around my waist, «but we both know that it is not the case...»
I try to push him away, but his clench is too strong. He wants to show me what it feels like, to really be at his mercy.
Too bad I'm not in the mood to play with him.
«Let me go,» I say, struggling and pushing the most I can.
«This is not how you please the one that's letting you live,» he continues, not intent to leave me alone.
I slap him with all my strength, paying attention not to ruin my hairstyle nor clothes in all this struggling. He won't hit me back, or he would already have done it. Somehow, I know that he won't hurt me. If for nothing else, because I am something that he's desired for long.
«Duchess, next time you raise your hands on me, I'll teach you a lesson you won't forget,» he mutters, still too close for my taste.
His breath hits my skin, and I thrill. I hate to admit that what I feel doesn't resemble fear, but I don't have time to argue with myself. Nor to wonder what does a lesson from the Duke entail.
«That's the face I wanted to see,» he comments. This time, his tone is normal, and he even steps back, relieving me from his presence. I don't know what expression I'm showing him, but I'm sure I've never had it on my face. Not once in my life, I've felt the way I'm feeling now.
I swallow saliva, taking a deep breath to calm down.
«If you do something like this again, I won't let you touch me!» I threaten. Not that it makes any difference for him, since I can't defend myself. But he won't have this Duchess available for a long, long time.
«We'll see about that,» he utters, fixing the last details of his clothing. While I was staring at a lamp, trying to figure out why do I feel so excited, he has the time to change clothes.
He offers me his arm, and I mechanically accept it.
«Now, let's go show my Duchess to the court,» he says. I nod, not realising that I've gotten so used to his proximity in such a short time.