Capítulo 9: CHAPTER 9: Life As It Meant To Be
Dear life,
Can you please go easy on good men? There are enough assholes in the world that do deserve your injustice and cruelty.
Yours sincerely.
...
Dear child,
I am not about what they do deserve. You have to open your mind much more than that, if you are trying so hard to make sense of my aspects. You must see with your mind, not your blind eyes, naïve child.
Life.
Mine forever.
...
I'm praying heavens so that the ground split in half and swallow me whole. I refuse to absorb what Jess just said, but I'm trying so hard to not show her any reaction, because I can't face it. I just can't.
I don't want to know what she has to say about it, and by 'it' I don't refer just to that name, I also am talking about the way she said it and the passion she must feel for that guy. But mostly I mean the name, though I don't want to know to whom it belongs to.
"Why did you stop" I say, after a long awkward stillness, curious to hear one of her usual unconvincing excuses.
But believe me, nothing can explain or excuse this offending situation. I begin to feel anger. Anger boiling from deep inside of me, that I can't hold for a long time.
"I'm...just...I don't know" she mumbles, with a shaking voice.
Suddenly, it occurs to me that I really am not ready to know what's going on. Not that I'm sure Jess is going to tell the truth but either ways I am SCARED to face the bitter truth.
"Oh! I really forgot that you are tired what happened earlier. I'm sorry, you need to rest, Jess" I tell her with apologetic voice to block her from saying anything.
"You're right" she nods agreeingly and moves to the side of the bed.
"I love you" I say, wanting to get out of this prideless situation as fast as I can. "I'm going to go take a shower and be right back" I continue, while climbing off the bed and avoiding to meet her eyes.
I close the bathroom's door behind me, as I lean against it with my hands on my face.
I stay that exact way for God knows how much time. My mind repeating the same word over and over again, Damien, Damien, Damien... I really want to scream so it would shut up, but somehow I know it won't stop.
I step into the shower, wanting to distract myself. But...Damien! My mind is in shreds, I would never get that name out of my mind or Jessica's saying it with the most desirable way that could ever exist.
I turn on the water, releasing thousands of warm water drops AND my heart in millions of pieces.
I close my eyes as the cold water go down at the back of my neck, trying to calm the fire that is burning me from the inside. But at this point, I'm sort of sure that even icy waterfalls could never be strong enough to make the high rising flames of my inner fires to bend down to their will.
'Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves.' My subconscious reminds me, but she's wrong.
I'm not proud; I am scared to know things I shouldn't know. Things that will hurt me, although I'm already hurt.
But sometimes we choose to live in fantasy lands; full of lies dressed up in day dreams and fake light, rather than face the hurtful truth and the darkness it brings to our hearts.
*Flashback: 1 year ago*
Today feels depressing and I'm already tired. What a cloudy day! I stare at the sky from the big glassy window at my office for so long, I must zone out when a knock on the door makes me jump.
"Mr. Eaton" my assistant says, still standing by the door and holding a file.
"Come in" I say, trying to put on a smile but I fail.
"This file is for you Mr. Eaton. It was sent from the marketing department" she says, handing me the file.
"Thank you" I say, with a lazy tone.
"You're welcome, Mr. Eaton" she says, with a sad smile, eyeing the stack of files and projects I still have to study.
Stacey left the office, leaving me with these nightmares, this is too much. I mean, I really do love my job but sometimes I get too tired and honestly it was a busy week. But thank God, today is Friday and there's a whole weekend for me to rest and have fun.
Maybe I'm just hungry, so I think I'll go for my lunch break. I am tired of work anyway and I can't concentrate. Work can wait.
I head out of my office and take the elevator, very excited to breathe some fresh air. The security guy opens the main door as he sees me. I nod towards politely him and step into the sweet freedom.
I close my eyes, enjoying the cool breeze on my face and putting my hands on my hips. I open my eyes, ready to go to my usual restaurant and of course order the same old meal.
But I see a girl heading out of the publishing house near the company.
I have to get going on my way and stop staring at the girl. But I really can't get my eyes off of her. I...Just...Can't. I watch her, while she takes off her black blazer a bit angrily if I may add. Seems like I'm not the only one with a bad mood this day.
She takes a cigarette from her pants' pocket and lights it up, as I find myself walking toward her. I don't know what I'm planning to do. I stop facing her, not sure what to do or what to say, as she exhales the smoke.
She looks surprised when she sees me standing next to her so she just stares at me with her raised eyebrows.
"Hey" I say, with a smile on my face and she's still raising her eyebrows. "I just noticed that you too are out before the actual lunch break time, so I decided to see if you are bored as I am" I continue, trying to look cool but I am stressed as hell.
She has light brown eyes, brown hair nearly blonde and she IS tall, though I'm still much taller than her.
"Bad day" she says, while sighing a long sigh. I didn't stop smiling since the moment I saw her.
"It is not for me anymore" I tell her, with a grin on my face. "By the way, my name's Andrew" I add, as I extend my hand for her to shake.
She stares at my hand for a minute, then says "I'm Jessica", looking at me. A small smile appears on her beautiful face.
"Nice to meet you, Jessica" I say. Meaning EVERY word I just said.
*End of the flashback*
I stayed in the shower long enough, so when I get out I'll find her asleep. And yes, she's sleeping now. I wear my clothes as fast and as quietly as I can, so I won't wake her up. I have no mood for a conversation right now.
Damn! I totally forget about the mess here, I have to clean up the floor before I go to my house. By the way, I already did clean the blood that was in the bathroom.
After I cleaned everything, I go to Jess's bedroom. She's looking very beautiful and peaceful; I often wish she will be like this forever, calm and angelic. But maybe I wouldn't have loved her if she was anything less than what she really is now.
I kiss her on the cheek, and go on my way.
REFLEXIONES DE LOS CREADORES 
BlackIs_TheRealist
BlackIs_TheRealist Have some idea about my story? Comment it and let me know. ❤
Take a look on my Instagram account to familiarize with the story characters: @blackis_therealist
Regalos
-- Regalo
recibido Estado de energía semanal
-- Ranking de
Poder 
-- Piedra de
Poder