Capítulo 5: You Were Already In
It was like nearing the top of Mount Everest, but stumbling at the last moment, crashing down an endless gulf. As if robbed of his sense of touch, Gerden couldn't feel the ground. Losing balance, he fell on his rear. Words couldn't leave his mouth, and his eyes stretched to the limit.
"What? Cat got your tongue? Alright, let me wake you up," Harun leaned over, with that same innocent gaze stained only by the eyepatch, and raised his right hand.
*Smack*
Whirling his hand in a mesmerizing arc, Harun struck Gerden's cheek, sending the registrar's head kiss the floor. Confused, Gerden lay there. Despite the slap, he couldn't feel any hatred or desire to retaliate against Harun. Rather, he secretly hoped that Harun could vent all his frustration on him, pummeling him till his heart felt at ease.
"W-what demonic pill have you fed me?" Gerden flinched and asked in fright. The opponent clearly wasn't his match, but he couldn't even muster the thought to resist. In his 2,000 years of existence, never did he experience such an absurd sensation.
"Demonic pill? No no no. I don't swing that way. This is state-of-the-art poison, refined by yours truly," Harun stuck his chest out, flashing a broad grin of complacence.
"Nonsense! It is well known that poison cultivation is a heretical path used by hopeless mortals, with no effect on fifth-level Celestial Kins or above! How could such a thing affect me?" Gerden refused to believe Harun's words. Celestials didn't fear diseases, and above the fifth-level of the Celestial Kin Realm, became immune to poisons. In a distant past, the 33 Heavens used to have a Plaguebringer Division, a subdivision of the Disaster Department tasked with spreading plagues in mortal worlds and balancing population growth.
The highest officials of that division were of the eighth rank, most of them mortal-born celestials from Harun's Noxious Flame World. However, the first thing Agiri did after becoming God Emperor was to abolish the Disaster and Fate Bestowing Departments—thenceforth leaving mortals' fates in the hands of mortals—and Heaven's Will, of course. As the most despised officials of Heaven, the plaguebringers all welcomed the change, and found more valued professions. No one would believe that poison could amount to anything here.
"Conceited. Actually, poison is just a bunch of orders to your body. I order your heart to beat faster, I order you to sweat, I order you to have a fever, I order you to vomit, I order your internal organs to burst, I order you to fall into a coma, I order you to die—that's poison.
There are so many varieties, so many options, some that haven't been discovered yet. But as long as you possess a body driven by internal organs, and I can find the suitable command, I can poison you," Harun said, and crouched before the startled Gerden.
"What you've taken is part of a pill pair. The Mother-Child Offering Pills. I created them to punish my mother for abandoning me in a snake pit at birth. Individually, they're just just Qi Pills. Taken together, they're still just Qi Pills. But once consumed by two separate individuals, their true purpose kicks in.
Interconnected by the creator's Divine Sense, the pills recognize each other. The Mother Pill leaves a command in its owner's body to live for and forever protect the child. From now on, you will feel all my emotions. My pain is your pain. My happiness is your happiness. You cannot challenge me, you cannot threaten me, if I die you die, and the best part is that I can siphon every cultivation gains you make after taking the pill. You're basically my...Dual Pill Cauldron?"
Terror-stricken, Gerden recoiled, frantically shaking his head to deny his new reality. But reality doesn't change because of a head shake, so Gerden was still, Harun's de facto cultivation bitch.
"Dishonorable, despicable creature! As a celestial, a cultivator of the Divine Path, how can you still cling on such contemptible means? Do you think they can lead you anywhere? Having you flogged 180 times was too merciful!" Gerden aimed his trembling finger at Harun, and scolded with all that crossed his mind. What a pity that in Agiri's reign, the Divine Laws forbade all murder. Otherwise, he would never allow upstart celestials such as this evil brat to step into the Heavens!
Little did Gerden expect that the more he scolded Harun, the more delighted he became.
"I've only ever cared about four things: Wine, food, poisons, and don't fuck with me," Harun enumerated his priorities, paused, and trapped Gerden's head between his hands. "If you treat me well I will repay the kindness if you harm me no matter how long it takes I will still pay it back—that—is true righteousness," he reeled off, speaking so fast that Gerden almost failed to register the words.
"But don't worry, although you're destined to stay locked at the eighth level, you get to keep your life. From now on, just cultivate in peace. I just need you to do me a tiny favor and use your influence to make sure I get selected to serve at the God Empress' Peach Banquet," Harun said. Held once every 6,000 years, the God Empress' Peach Banquet was a monumental event where only high-ranking celestials and officials were allowed to sit.
Eating one Peach of Immortality would increase the lifespan by 6,000 for a non-immortal and delay Cosmic Tribulations by 6,000 years for immortal-level existences. Better, they gave massive cultivation benefits such as improving the cultivator's constitution, and increasing their Qi reserves. According to hearsay, one peach provided enough Heavenly Qi to cultivate to the Ascending God Realm. With three peaches, there would be no need to worry about Heavenly Qi until the Heavenly God Realm. Cultivators could only eat three peaches every 36,000 years. Past that, they lost effect. But even then, attending the banquet was in itself proof of high status—none would miss it.
Since the beginning of times, the God Empresses had always been in charge of the Peach Banquet. Using it to keep the officials fat and content. And while servants naturally couldn't consume the peaches, countless benefits awaited them. Unless they died early, all those that served in the Peach Banquet went on to at least become officials of the fifth rank. Some even reached the third, becoming vice ministers, heavenly generals, governors or inspectors.
This time's banquet would be different from the past, but if Harun could secure a spot, his future was set. And who knows, maybe he could even eat and drink some divine delicacies—good food was always best.
But once Harun made his request, Gerden bit his lower lip, shuddering for no apparent reason.
"Y-you were...already in. The magistrate gave us a list of pages that must be present for tomorrow's selection. That can only mean one thing: those people were handpicked early. Tomorrow is just a formality for them. Y-you are on t-that l-list," Gerden stuttered, and instantly, Harun furrowed his brows.
"A mortal-born celestial, handpicked early? Why?" Harun asked. This matter was at best fishy, at worst disastrous. To say nothing of pre-selecting, why would the magistrate—a fifth-level Celestial Guard and seventh-rank official—know of him?
"I don't know! I swear I don't! There are other mortal-born peo—I mean celestials, on the list. You're not the only one. This matter is incomprehensible. Usually, those handpicked to serve in the Peach Banquet either come from the God Empress' clan, or the Highest Heaven's hegemonic clans. But apparently, a Monarch-level expert argued that it's time to give a chance to the other Heavens."
"I am destined to join the Peach Banquet for reasons you don't know, and you tried to have me executed?"
"Today you weren't supposed to die! I just wanted to give you some lashes and cu—" Gerden's words abruptly stopped. How could he admit that he planned to squash Harun's nuts and parade him naked across the street? Wasn't that equal to courting death?
However, Harun could guess half the plan, and after asking Gerden a few other questions—in his grand generosity shoved a Lineage-Cutting Pill down his throat—forever erasing the registrar's nuts from the vast Heavens.
Regalos
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recibido Estado de energía semanal
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Poder 
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Poder