Beau
Thinking about how I messed up just makes me more upset with myself. He is acting as he has forgiven me but I don't like the fact that I even had something that needs forgiving. I hate myself so much right now and I don't know how to make things right.
We are still outside on the field. I am still in his arms, scared that if I don't hold unto him, he will end up remembering why he was upset with me.
"I am sorry,'' I manage because there is nothing else that I can say apart from that.
He caresses the top of my hair and I close my eyes because this seems like a punishment. I feel like I am being punished even though I am in his arms. Maybe this is all the guilt I feel. I hurt his family. I reacted without even thinking.
"You know what you did wrong, that is all that matters." He breathes into my ear.
Your gift is the motivation for my creation. Give me more motivation!
Creation is hard, cheer me up!
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