Capítulo 23: Chapter twenty-three: Let it hurt

~~~ Let it hurt, let it bleed, let it take you right down to your knees. Let it burn to the worst degree. May not be what you want' but it's what you need. Sometimes the only way around it is to let love do its work and let it hurt, yeah, let it hurt...~~~

-Rascal Flatts-

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When our graduation came, I was in five months of pregnancy and my belly was already showing in my gown. But despite the different stares I received from the people who attended the ceremony, I still held my chin up, received my award and diploma and proudly gave my salutatorian speech.

Many of my classmates, especially my best friend Jack were sad that I didn't get the highest award. I have to admit that I couldn't focus on my studies in the last few months as stupidity came over me... and I got pregnant. But while receiving my award, I felt no regrets because I know there's a greater achievement that would come in the way and that is my baby.

Mom wanted to throw a party but I refused and I said that we can simply have lunch together, all of us including my in-laws and of course my best friend who also got an honor. She agreed so we ended up having lunch in an exclusive restaurant. We also had an extended celebration at home (my parents' home) where Luke and all the boys were in charge of cooking the barbecues while we girls stayed in the kitchen to prepare the side dishes.

Jack and I received our graduation gifts but I didn't expect to receive one from my husband. I asked Rory and Elaine to put them in the car as I decided to open them in 'our' home. (If you're wondering why our maids were there, well, it's because they were also part of our celebration).

After having dinner, we gathered in the living room and shared the wine that my father-in-law brought from Italy, but since I was pregnant, I have just sipped the grape juice that Rory has prepared for me.

"Why don't you open the gifts, girls?" My mom asked and Jack and I shared glances.

"Uhm, Untie we've already put them in the car. We decided to just open them at home." Jack was the first to answer.

"Tss!" Dale smirked, he stood up and went over to the side table. Seconds later, he has a small box in his hand and without any warning, he threw it into the air towards Jack's direction. "Catch it, weirdo."

"What the---" Jack didn't finish her sentence as she immediately got up to catch the small box.

"Hey, Dale Sebastian, that's rude! Why didn't you just hand it over to her?" My mom scolded my brother but he just smiled while scratching the back of his neck.

"It's okay, untie. Honestly, I'm used to his rude behavior and I know it will never change." Jack rolled her eyes (which was her mannerism) and we all laughed at them.

But my laugh disappeared when Luke's father spoke.

"Son, why aren't you sitting on your wife's side?"

We shared glances and suddenly the air between us thickened and I don't know where to move...to the left or right to give him space. I intensely gulped the remaining juice from the glass when his arm accidentally brushed the side of my breast. I didn't look at him so he couldn't notice my reaction.

"Alright, that's better. Now let's take a group picture." His dad added. I just bit my lip and forced a smile.

A few moments later, I don't understand why the group picture he said suddenly became the pictorial of me and Luke, and it's so awkward that they made us pose like a sweet and loving couple to each other. I just sighed when it's finally over.

We only used one car when we get home, so our parents wouldn't notice what's going on between us. Our driver Paul was the one who drove my car while I took a ride with Luke. On our way home, a thick silence wrapped around us since none of us uttered even a single word. No one tried to speak. He kept driving while I was counting the tress in my head and watching people on the streets as we passed.

When we reached home, I was surprised when Luke didn't get out of the car. He immediately drove outside as soon as I closed the door to the passenger side.

"Huh! He didn't even tell me where the hell on earth he's planning to go!" I sighed, shaking my head but then I remembered what he said...'you're not my mother'. "Oh, yeah, I forgot."

A few minutes later, Paul finally arrived with Elaine and Rory in the back seat. I decided to wait for them so we could enter the house at the same time.

"Ma'am, we saw your husband heading back to the main road," Paul said and I just gave him a faint smile. "Did he just leave you without walking with you inside?"

Paul was only a week started driving for me as my former driver resigned when his wife had an accident at work and was badly injured, so Paul had no idea what's going on between me and Luke, unlike Elaine and Rory.

"I'm used to it, Paul." I smiled at him.

But who was I lying to--- Paul or was it just myself? Who said I'm used of him treating me like nothing? Yeah, we've been married for four months but I still couldn't use to what he does, especially when he has brought different women every other night. The only thing that changed was that none one of them tried to go my way or even talk to me.

And since I always woke up early, there were times that I saw them going out of his room and I couldn't hold back my tears. Well, I have to take the consequences every day because I chose to live with him.

"Uhm, Rory, Elaine..." I called them before they could go to their room. "Can I sleep in your room tonight?"

Both of them were shocked by my question. They shared glances and asked me in unison.

"Ma'am, you're going to sleep in our room?"

I nodded, awkwardly smiling. There were two double decks in their room, so all in all, there were four beds inside.

"But our room and bed are too small compared to your room, ma'am Samantha," Rory said, awkwardness was tied in her voice.

"It's okay, I mean it doesn't matter if the bed is small. Uhm... I just don't feel like sleeping in my room tonight, you know..." I shrugged. I know they knew it even if I don't tell them exactly the reason why I suddenly wanted to sleep with them.

"Well, I'm gonna prepare the extra bed for you, ma'am."

"Thank you, Elaine."

That night, I decided to sleep in our maids' room because I'm not sure if Luke would bring again another woman tonight. It was two days ago since the last time he brought a fuck buddy, and I wanted to sleep without hearing their fucking moans and groans.

And I was right. I was woken at 1:00 in the morning when I heard a woman's voice giggling in the living room. I was about to go out and see the new face of the woman he would bring to the second heaven again, but I felt a light hand on my shoulder.

I turned my head to see Rory slowly shake her head.

"Ma'am, it's better if you didn't see them." She has a concerned smile between her lips and I sighed before going back to my bed.

"You're right, Rory."

She sat on the far side of the bed and we both drowned in silence. The only thing we could hear was Elaine's light snoring and the faint giggle of whoever the woman was with Luke tonight.

"Ma'am, why do you just agree with what he does?"

I gulped by hearing Rory's question and I glanced at her with a half-hearted smile but she's not looking at me but on the window where the moonlight passing through the glass panels and she continued.

"Why are you just letting him hurt you like this?" she asked, looking at me this time.

I sighed for I don't know how many times since I already lost count.

"Agreeing is different from getting along and getting along is far different from sacrificing, Rory."

"Sacrificing? You mean you're purposely taking all this?" I nodded. "But why ma'am---"

"Just call me Sam, Rory." I interrupted her which caused her to stop from talking.

"But ma'am---"

"Please, Rory? We're almost the same age and honestly, I consider you more of a friend than our maid. There are things that I could tell you openly that I can't tell Jack. She's my best friend but I don't want her to know how things were going between me and Luke. I'm sure she would get worried and I don't know the other things she could do if she ever finds this out."

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