The next day, I get up bright and early, taking my cup of coffee, then getting dressed for work. I have this newly energized want now which feels great. I haven't felt this in a long time. It was also great talking to Ichiru last night. I am sure I surprised him in every way. I am starting to feel like me again. I guess in a way, it was a closure with Zero that I needed. Hearing him tell me we will be together when all this is over, helped me too. I will just keep that to myself. I don't want to hurt Ichiru anymore than I already have.
I see him getting up to get dressed, I have to admit I like being around him. I am not sure if its because he reminds me of Zero or its just him in general, but I am trying to figure it out. I want to give him, his own benefit. Trying to take Zero out of it, but it's so damn hard when he looks exactly like him. Not to mention, that's my type, its what turns me on, that damn grey hair, those gorgeous lavender eyes. Not to mention that sexy lean body. I do wonder at times if he is exactly the same everywhere. I know that's a bad thought, but I can't help it. I know his touch is different. I can't explain it but it is. That day we kissed, it felt different, I just try to keep that part of me at bay. I know my feelings were all over the place that day, there was no time to act on anything. They still are here and there, but now I need to try to get on with my life, to see where this is going to take me.
"I see you are already up and ready. I guess you can't wait to get to work?" Ichiru says.
"I am excited about today. It feels like old times and old me. We are having lunch today right?" I ask.
"Of course, I look forward to it. We are riding together to work right?" Ichiru asks.
"Yes, I would like that," I answer.
Knowing I used to go to work every day with Zero. Would his office still be there? Would the memories? I stay quiet, not asking. Not wanting to ruin the moment.
We both finish getting dressed, then heading to the car. I see Ichiru is very happy today. I see a smile on his face I haven't seen in a while. It's nice to see. It's also sad, that how I feel dictates how he feels. I know that so well, its not a good feeling. In a way, I am glad he cares so much, then in another, I feel bad. Can I give him what he needs? I know how it feels to love someone, without them fully loving you back. I don't want that for Ichiru, at the same time, this is a lot of pressure on me, as I guess it was a lot for Zero. I always made him out to be perfect, but to me, he was even with his flaws.
We get to the office and park in the garage, I just look around, everything looking pretty much the same so far. I keep my emotions in check, not letting on how I feel in front of Ichiru. He is happy, and I want him to stay that way. Just parts of me can't forget the past, can't forget all we did have. It hurts.
We get out of the car, walking to the door and walking in. The offices are the same, just not the same people. Mr. and Mrs. Kiryu's office is now taken by the old man. Zero's office is empty, and mine has some woman I never saw before. I just look around taking everything in. I'm drawn to go into Zero's office. I just wait, to see what Ichiru does first.
"Nancy I would like you to meet Alexa, she will be working here from now on, and anything she needs please help her with," Ichiru says.
"Of course, Mr. Kiryu," Nancy replies.
"What office do you want?" Ichiru asks.
"I think you already know which one," I answer as I walk to Zero's. "I see you haven't let anyone else in it," I add.
"No, for some reason I couldn't. I just left it empty. No one else around here knows it was his, but I do. We worked across from each other for ten years. It's weird not having him here. I think his office will be a great fit for you, just do you think you can handle it? If anyone has memories, it's you. You are coming so far, I don't want this to hurt you." Ichiru answers.
"I should be fine. Thank you for asking though." I say.
"No problem. You pretty much know the drill around here, so I don't have to tell you much. The old man does work here full time. He helps out with a lot of things. Don't ask his name, He rather be called the old man." Ichiru shrugs.
"That's fine, it's nice having another person around who knows the truth. It makes me know I am not crazy." I respond.
"I understand that, plus you can just be yourself, and have someone to talk to. He has been a good friend." Ichiru admits.
"I am glad you have someone through all this, I know sometimes I am not really the best person to be around. I know I have hurt your feelings in the past, and I am really sorry about that." I answer.
"It's fine, this is a lot for anyone to go through. I am just happy with what is happening now. I have to get to work but I will see you for lunch, like always?" Ichiru states.
"You bet, have a great morning, "I reply.
I step out of my brother's office, feeling great. This is so much better than I thought it would be. I walk over a few offices into the Old mans, wanting to tell him what is going on.
"Hey, what is she doing here?" The old man asks.
"She will be coming to work with us as she did before," Ichiru says.
"That's good, she looks in good spirits. I thought you said she was down from seeing him again? Falling apart?" The old man asks.
"She was, just I went home last night and she was a different person. She was back to what I saw before all this mess. She told me wanted to work on getting her life together, and work on us." Ichiru states.
"Then whatever he said, she processed and moved on. Maybe it was a good thing to see him again. He put her at ease after the initial shock, and want to stay with him.
"She would have stayed with him if it wasn't for me. She said since my love was so strong and pulled her back, she wanted to see where this would go. I think it helped her to believe I really do love her." Ichiru responds.
"Good, maybe she saw a few things that she needed to. Your brother believed in you two, she just needed to also."The old man comments.
"Yea, I am sure it was hard for him to let her go. This hasn't really been easy for any of us. I always see her pain and mine. I just know he has some also." Ichiru admits.
"It looks like she wasn't the only one to see things from this. I think its a great start." The old man answers.