Capítulo 1408: GOOD INTENTIONS
It was kind of funny how it was only after we both moved out of our parents' house and into our own apartments that my sister and I bothered to purposefully spend any time with each other. Then again, there had never really been any point to it when we lived in the same house, since we could hardly help seeing each other on a regular basis anyway. If we ended up hanging out some night when we had nothing better to do, that was all fine and good, but neither of us actively sought it out. It was only when we were separated for a while that it became clear to me how much I missed having Anya around sometimes, and as far as I could tell it was more or less the same for her.
We never explicitly talked about it of course, there were some things that we just didn't need to say. Living together the better part of our lives meant we knew each other well enough not to have to explain certain things. It also meant Anya felt comfortable stopping by my apartment pretty much whenever without always warning me first and assuming it was okay. She was usually right, too; if I was home it generally meant I wasn't up to anything anyway, and I liked to try and be a good big brother when I could. It was one of the few things in life I felt I could manage pretty well most of the time and also didn't require a lot of effort. Mostly it was nothing more than listening and occasionally offering advice from when I'd been through similar experiences to her already.
Recently, the way I heard it, most of her problems were class related, as she was in year four of her university career and really getting tired of the workload. It was bad enough that one evening when she came over it seemed it was all she wanted to talk about.
"I mean, it's like I've got another paper to write as soon as I'm done with the last one," Anya told me. "I think their plan is just to kill me now that they have all my money."
"Heh, yeah could be," I said. "I'm surprised sometimes that anyone makes it through the education system. Like, any level of it."
We were sitting on my bed, ostensibly watching some show that Anya liked, but mostly I was listening to her complain. I only had a small apartment and the bed doubled as a couch for me, which was part of the reason I didn't often have people over and usually went to the other person's place if I was hanging out with someone. My sister being the major exception.
"And it's not even just my classes either," she continued. "Like every part of my life just feels like a mess, like there's always something I'm doing wrong, or something I need to do that I don't want to, or someone who's going to give me more stuff to do...." She stopped as she ran out of things to list off, then looked at me. "Seriously, if I didn't have you I swear I'd have gone crazy. This is like the one place where I have absolutely nothing that I need to worry about. No responsibilities. Even my roommate drives me insane sometimes and she's the best one I've ever had."
"That's the one good thing about this place, other that it being cheap as hell, is that it's all mine. No one to bug me," I said. "I know you're too busy to consider it right now, but living on your own might be something to think about."
"Mm-hm, it's something I do think about. But like you say, not right now. Maybe this summer of something. Until then, I'm just gonna have to hope you keep letting me come over and bitch about my life."
"What are brothers for? Actually, don't answer that."
"Aw, but I had a really clever smart-ass comeback," Anya said, faking a pout for a second. "Really though, I do appreciate it. Everything. Makes up for a lot of the shit you pulled when we were kids."
"You pulled your fair share of annoying stunts," I reminded her. "Don't pretend like it was all me."
"If you say so." She stood up and stretched, then looked at her watch. "Shit, it's later than I thought. I should probably head back to my place."
"Okay. Good night."
"Night," she replied, tossing me a casual wave before leaving.
I checked the time and discovered it was indeed getting late, and I was just tired enough to debate calling it a night. My desire for sleep won the brief mental argument and I set about getting out of my clothes and into a pair of pyjama pants. They were the sort of thing I wouldn't really want anyone to see me wearing, but, as I'd discovered, they were very comfortable and no one was going to see me while I slept anyway. Or so I thought.
I'd only just gotten changed when I heard a knock on my door. I had no idea who it could be, unless perhaps it was Anya and she'd forgotten something, though I didn't remember her bringing anything. Before I could make it to the door, it opened from the other side and I found it was indeed my sister.
"Hey," she said, looking a little embarrassed.
"Uh, hey. Forget something?"
"Sort of. Not exactly. I, um, locked my keys in my car. Not that it's a huge surprise, that's pretty much how my life's been going these days."
"So I've heard. What are you gonna do?"
"Well, my roommate knows where my spare car key is, so I guess probably get her to bring it over. Thing is, I'd rather do it in the morning than drag her over here this time of night. I don't think she'd be super pissed about it or anything, but... you know."
"Yeah I get it. You know I don't have, like, a spare bedroom or anything, right?"
"I know. You don't even have a main bedroom, let alone a spare. I guess I could probably just sleep on the floor if you give me a blanket."
"I dunno, it's not a great floor for sleeping on, even as far as floors go." I glanced toward my bed. "If it's not too weird, we could maybe share the bed."
Anya half-smiled. "I was kinda hoping you'd offer. Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to trying to sleep on the floor. Promise I'll try to stay on my side. And if I steal the blankets just kick me 'til I give 'em back."
"Deal."
I wasn't going to tell her, but I wasn't entirely certain I was completely comfortable with sharing my bed. It could be a perfectly innocent event between siblings, but it could also end up being much more awkward than that. I was just going to have to risk it, though, because I wasn't about to send my little sister away when she needed somewhere to crash for the night. Nor did I intend to make her try to sleep on the floor, which was both far harder and colder than I'd ever want to try getting through the night on.
It didn't take long for some my concern to seem justified. I'd climbed under the covers on my side of the bed, not quite realizing until I turned back to Anya that she probably wasn't going to want to sleep fully dressed. I was just in time to watch her pants slide down her legs before she stepped out of them. She had panties on but... how was I supposed to treat the sight before me as innocent? More to the point, I suppose, the act itself was innocent, but the thoughts it provoked in me were anything but.
It had been one of the more confusing points in my life when I'd first noticed that Anya was, for lack of a more eloquent phrase, hot. For a good chunk of our lives she'd just been my sister, her gender more a formality than anything of significance in my life. But things changed, and one of those things was her body. There came a time when even her older brother couldn't help but occasionally see a girl instead of any of the other things she was to me. This was one of those times.
"You know, it's often considered polite to look away when your sister's taking off her clothes," Anya said, having caught me staring. "At least until I get under the blanket."
"Sorry," I mumbled, averting my gaze too late to do much good. "Didn't expect you to...."
"To not sleep with all my clothes on? Yeah, I'm a rebel to convention alright."
Anya remembered to go turn off the light before crawling into bed beside me, and as she did I snuck another peek. I didn't really want to, the brother part of me didn't anyway, but I couldn't help it. Despite recognizing a moment ago that my sister possessed more physical charm than I would have liked, I could mostly ignore that knowledge until it was shoved in my face. Watching my underwear-clad sister's butt as she walked to the light switch, I could no more ignore my male instincts to appreciate the view than I could have ignored a fire alarm while hung over.
As soon as the light went off and the room went dark, part of my problem disappeared. And not far behind that a new, potentially bigger problem arose as Anya settled in beside me. My bed had always seemed plenty big enough when it was just me, but with her in it as well suddenly I wished it was just a little bigger. There was no way to ignore her presence even if we could somehow manage not to make contact. Every slight shift of the mattress reminded me she was there and much closer to naked than I liked.
"Okay, this is a little weird, isn't it?" Anya said eventually.
"Yeah."
"Sorry."
"It's fine. I'm sure we'll get through it somehow, we've gotten through worse."
"Mm-hm."
Awkward as it was, sleep eventually did creep up on me and dragged me away from my circling, unhelpful thoughts.
****
Immediately upon waking the next morning I knew I was in trouble. Anya was still asleep, or so I presumed even though I was facing away from her. I suspected that if she was awake she wouldn't have been using me as an extra-large teddy bear.
Opening my eyes was enough to confirm that it was, in fact, her arm that I felt draped around me, which suggested that what felt like her breasts pressing against my back were probably just that. Great. I hadn't really wanted to start my day with figuring out how to untangle myself from my little sister.
I had a couple of options, one of which was ignoring the problem and hoping it went away; this was also the front-runner according to the various parts of my body that didn't feel like moving yet. Another, perhaps better, option was to lift her arm as gently as I could and try to slip away without waking her. It was doable, but required a certain amount of coordination and luck, and I wasn't too confident that I had either of those on my side so early in the day.
Before I could commit to a course of action, the problem actually did go away, in a manner of speaking. Mostly it was just my need to do something that was eliminated as Anya woke up and rendered my plans useless.
"Guess I didn't keep on my side very well," she mumbled sleepily.
"Not really," I agreed.
"Sorry. You're very comfy though. Really warm."
"Good to know."
Anya forced herself out of bed and I rolled onto my back now that she was no longer blocking such a maneuver. I neglected to clue in before I did that she was still only in her bra and panties, and her body did some interesting things as she stretched.
"You're staring again," she said, pointing out a fact rather than necessarily accusing me.
"You're in your underwear again," I replied.
"So I am. Probably should fix that."
She gathered her previously discarded clothes from the night before and went to the bathroom. I stayed where I was and tried not to think about my sister. Easier said than done.
Sooner than I expected Anya came back out, fully dressed now much to my relief.
"Gotta go," she said. "I texted my roommate last night and apparently she texted me back probably like right before we woke up. She's gonna be here soon, or maybe she's here already, and I don't wanna make her wait."
"Yeah, no, don't want to do that. See ya."
"Bye. Thanks again for letting me crash here."
"No problem," I said, though I was really only talking to myself since Anya was already gone.
All in all I decided her spending the night hadn't gone that badly. I had a few new memories to repress, but no real damage done. Maybe it didn't count as a win, but at least it wasn't much of a loss.
****
It was about a week later when Anya next came over. It wasn't to see me though, she was just stopping by to use my shower before going back out. She did that sometimes since my place was quicker to get to from where her classes were than her place was. I'd picked on her before about getting an apartment so far away from campus, not that it was actually all that far in reality, but I knew for a fact she and her roommate were getting a really good deal on it for what it was so I didn't make fun of her too much.
When she finished her shower and came out of the bathroom, I almost thought I must be seeing things for a second. She didn't have her shirt on and I was uncomfortably reminded of not too long ago when I'd been in a similar situation of trying not to look like I was staring.
"My shirt got wet," she said, sounding resigned and a little embarrassed. "I didn't pull the curtain across quite right, and I guess I left my clothes too close." She pointed to the skirt she had on and I noticed that there was a wet patch on the hip. "Remember when I was complaining about my life being a bit of a mess right now? Well... yeah. Anyway, can I borrow a shirt or something?"
"Uh, yeah. Definitely." I jolted into action and rummaged through my shirts. "I don't think I've really got anything that'll fit well."
"I know, I am aware that we're not the same size," she said. "I just need something that can cover me. I don't even know if I'm gonna go out anymore. Don't really feel up to it, and my mind's clearly not there."
"You do seem a little tired."
"Mm-hm, up too late last night so I could a paper done."
Anya wasn't really into any of my shirts, and instead grabbed one of my hoodies to put on. I didn't know why exactly, but she looked good in it. Sometimes girls in oversized sweaters worked for me, and I never really understood where the appeal came from. Usually it was a case of the fewer clothes the better.
"It's just like you," she told me, referring the hoodie.
"What?"
"It's so snuggly. I don't know why I never got something like this for when I don't want to go anywhere."
"Great, so I'm snuggly now."
"Yep. Just like I told you last time when I spent the night and... well you know. I just used different words, but I thought about it and you were definitely snuggly."
I rolled my eyes and Anya giggled.
"So are you going home, or are you sticking around for a bit?" I asked.
"If it's okay, maybe I could stay for a little while? I'm crashing hard here, I might fall asleep while I'm driving if I leave now."
****
Anya wasn't kidding about the possibility of her falling asleep. It wasn't immediate, but a little later while we were sitting side by side on my bed I was in the middle of a semi-funny story when I felt her head land on my shoulder. At first I assumed it was her way of telling me the story wasn't that great, but she was genuinely out. It was probably funnier than my story would have been actually.
Without disturbing her too much I got her lying down more or less in the right direction and put a pillow under her head. I was going to leave it at that and just see how long she'd be before waking up, but I started thinking maybe I should try to get her a little more comfortable in case she was in for more than a quick nap. My hoodie was fine, it was pretty much just a heavy pyjama top, but her skirt seemed tight on her and I didn't think it would be good for her to be sleeping in it. I didn't really want to try removing it, but at the same time I'd already seen her shirtless that day, not to mention pantless too the week before. It wouldn't be anything new.
My internal debate was eventually settled by my sister when she shifted slightly in her sleep. It was probably my imagination more than anything, but to me it looked like she was being caused some annoyance by the skirt and was trying to wiggle into a more comfortable position.
A little hesitantly I reached for the zipper on the side of the skirt and pulled it down, releasing the tension around my sister's waist. That probably was sufficient all on its own really, but as long as I had started I kept going and pulled gently on her skirt to try and get it down her legs. I could always throw the blanket over her afterward and leave her to sleep with some privacy so I wasn't too worried about the brief flash of her panties I'd get. Hopefully she wouldn't mind it either.
What I didn't count on, and to be fair I'm not sure how I could have guessed, was that Anya wasn't wearing any panties. Instead of uncovering some relatively innocent bit of material, I found a very naked pussy. My little sister's pussy. I stood frozen for a second, then threw the blanket over her and finished tugging her skirt down underneath it without being able to see what I was doing.
I was fucked now, there was no way around it. I shouldn't have been messing with her, I should have just left her alone. If she was really that uncomfortable she'd wake up on her own, she didn't need me fumbling around trying to help. There was absolutely nothing I could do though, no way to get her skirt back on without looking and somehow I was pretty sure leaving it partway down was worse than taking it off completely. She'd know what I'd seen either way.
After that there was nothing to do but wait. I didn't feel right about going out somewhere and leaving Anya to wake up alone, much as part of me would rather not be there, so I spent most of the time messing around on my computer, doing anything I could to distract myself from the image of her naked lower half that seemed to have imprinted itself on my brain like the afterimage you get from looking at a bright light. It didn't help that her pussy was about as beautiful as the rest of her, and practically begged me to take another peek.
Overall my anxiety and dread made everything pass much slower, and by the time she finally woke up I'd thought about waking her up more than once and chickened out just as many times.
"Mmph, sorry. I guess I fell asleep on you," she said.
"Um, yeah you kinda did."
I waited for her to discover about her skirt, and even flinched when it looked like she was going to notice where I'd folded it up at the end of the bed, but she didn't. All she did roll over and continue lying where she was.
"Probably should get up," she said. "Don't wanna though."
"Right, um, okay," I said. "But listen, there's something I, uh, well there's something I did that I shouldn't have."
"What's that?" she asked, completely unconcerned in what it could be.
"I swear I was only trying to make you more comfortable, that's all, but I kinda... took your skirt off."
Anya sat bolt upright as she clued in to what I was getting at, and I noted that she made sure to hold the blanket around her and keep herself covered.
"So you saw...."
"Yeah, I saw. Sorry."
I tried to look as apologetic as I could, and I meant it too.
"It's okay. I think," she said. "Maybe. I don't know. I don't usually go without panties you know, but I had an accident earlier today. Spilled coffee on them. On the pants I had on too before you ask, the skirt belongs to a friend."
"Ah," I said.
"You couldn't have known, I know you wouldn't... you wouldn't do anything like that on purpose."
She tried to convince me, but she wouldn't look directly at me and I knew it wasn't all quite as alright as she tried to tell me.
"M'sorry," I repeated.
"It's fine. I just... I should go. I'm not mad, I promise, but I need to think."
I nodded and tried to find somewhere else to look while Anya put her skirt back on under the covers. She smiled unconvincingly as she left, but finally she was gone and I could get to the serious business of calling myself an idiot repeatedly and worrying about just how bad the damage was. My apartment was supposed to be her safe place, and I might have permanently fucked that up for her. Even if nothing else changed, we'd both always have to deal with that one memory of how I'd accidentally betrayed her trust while she slept. There was no way I could blame her if she didn't feel completely safe with me after that.
Over the next few days I sent Anya texts a couple times just to check on her, which was pretty atypical of me, but I was also in some pretty atypical circumstances. She assured me she was fine and restated that she just needed a little time. I tried not to press her, but it was hard not to feel like I should be doing something rather than just waiting.
Then, one evening, she just showed up at my place like nothing had changed. She didn't even call ahead, just knocked on my door and assumed I was home. I suppose she probably could have seen my car actually so she wouldn't have been completely guessing.
"Hey," I said, when I opened the door and found her standing on the other side.
"Hey," she said. "Sorry I didn't want to talk when you kept texting me, but I--"
"I know, I get it."
"Good. Are you busy?"
"Am I ever?"
"Not usually, no. You're such a slacker."
She said it with a teasing smile, and it was kind of a relief. Like many sibling relationships, I assumed, a good indicator ours was okay was when we were picking on each other.
"So... we're okay?" I asked.
"I think so, yeah. Stuff happened, and it wasn't exactly good that it happened, but neither of us meant it. I know, in hindsight, that I've been a little careless around you recently. Parading around in my underwear and everything. You were bound to see too much at some point."
"You never paraded. I think I would have noticed if you did."
"That's not the point and you know it. I'm just saying as long as I keep my clothes on, I think things'll be fine. And I never thought I'd have to say anything like that to you."
"Me either. That doesn't change what I already saw though."
"Does it bother you?"
That was the question alright. The simple answer was yes, it did bother me, but that hardly covered everything. A lot of what bothered me about it was how it would affect Anya, and she wasn't really letting me know how she felt.
"Kind of. It's just... I hate that it had to happen. You told me this was where you didn't have to worry about stuff and now...."
"I still feel that way," she said, stepping forward and putting a hand on my shoulder. "You don't think everything's going to be different just 'cause you saw a part of me you weren't supposed to, do you?"
"It was a pretty important part."
"Yeah, but it's okay. I'm used to feeling like guys are imagining parts of me, it's just life. And if any guy had to accidentally see me partly naked, any guy who I didn't want to see me I mean, I guess I don't mind that it was you."
"That... almost makes sense. I think. Actually, not really."
"I know, I'm mostly just bullshitting and hoping it comes out coherent. But seriously, I don't want to lose you just because of something so stupid. You're still my brother, even if you get dirty thoughts about me, and I still need you."
"Why do you think I have any dirty thoughts about you?"
"Because you have that guilty look on your face," Anya said, poking me right on my forehead. "The same as when I woke up after you saw my... well, you know. The same as any time when there's something you don't want me to know, but don't want to keep it from me either."
"Well shit. Guess I really can't keep anything from you, can I?"
"Not really, no. But it's okay, I get it. You should see some of the stuff that goes through my head."
"See, you shouldn't say things like that. Makes me think my innocent little sister isn't all that innocent."
Anya snorted. "You're so full of shit. You know better than anyone I'm not a kid anymore. Besides, with the internet around, no one's innocent these days."
"Fair point."
"I know. So do you believe me that everything's okay yet? 'Cause I need to know if I'm gonna have to go back to my place to get some work done or not."
"I was gonna ask about that," I said, pointing to the backpack she was wearing. My guess would have been she had class stuff in it, but she had never brought any of that with her before. "Thought you didn't want to bring any of that here."
"It's not that I wanted to," she said. "But we needed to talk and I needed help focusing on my work instead of daydreaming. I think better here."
"Well, you can use my table if you want."
"Actually, I'd prefer the bed if that's alright."
"Fine with me."
Once she made the request, I did actually remember how she used to do her homework on her bed sometimes back when we were in high school. She'd spread out various books and things over the mattress and lie in the middle of it all. It seemed to work for her, and apparently it was something she hadn't entirely given up on, as she preceded to do pretty much the same thing on my bed.
"I know I said I don't mind what you think about, but do you have to be so obvious about staring at me all the time?" she asked, and I realized I actually had been staring at her again.
"It wasn't anything dirty this time, I swear," I said. "I was just remembering how you used to do this back home sometimes."
Anya smiled a little. "I'm surprised you remember that."
"I remember lots of things, I just don't have any reason to think of them most of the time."
"If you say so. Just try and be a little more discreet if you're gonna ogle me like that."
"Oh fuck off, you know I wasn't. I thought you said you were okay, 'cause you're acting like you really aren't."
"Is it bugging you?"
"Kind of, yeah."
"Then I'm doing my job as a little sister, aren't I?"
She gave me a supremely irritating grin, on purpose no doubt, then turned back to her work.
"You know, I'd agree with you except you've never been that much of a brat. Well, almost never."
"I think it's good for us, being more like regular siblings and getting away from the awkward stuff. My job's to be annoying, yours is to help with my homework if I get stuck on something."
I sat down beside Anya and glanced over the pages of the textbook she had open.
"Leaving aside the fact that I'd be useless at helping with whatever you're working on, that doesn't sound like a very good deal on my end," I said.
"You also get the pleasure of my company."
"Right, I forgot. How silly of me."
I poked Anya in the side where I knew she was ticklish, and took some amusement from the way she flinched and batted my hand away.
"Cut it out!" she said. "I'm busy."
"Just being a brother. That's what you wanted, isn't it?" I said, poking her again for good measure. "Plus, you started it."
Anya rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at me. I retaliated by jabbing at her side until she rolled over to protect it, leaving her other side exposed to me.
"Okay, okay stop! Stop it!" she said, swatting repeatedly at me until I gave up. "God, I know I was being immature, but you're just...."
"Better at it than you?"
"You wish. Now if you're not going to help, at least let me concentrate here."
I stopped bugging Anya, but I didn't leave her alone right away. I just watched for a couple minutes as she read from her textbook and occasionally wrote some things down. If I'd had someone looking over my shoulder like that, it would have driven me crazy. Anya didn't say anything though.
Partly just to see what she'd do, I traced my fingertips lightly down her back, then back up again. She ignored me, so I did it a few more times, slowly increasing the amount of contact until my whole palm was touching her. It was about the point when I was basically giving her a back rub that she sighed and put down her pencil.
"Still not helping," she said.
"Sorry," I said, not meaning it in the slightest.
"Feels good though. Relaxing."
"So I shouldn't stop then?"
"Not yet. I'll let you know."
Anya folded her arms in front of her and rested her head on them. A peaceful expression gradually appeared on her face, like she was sleeping and oblivious to the world.
"You remember when you used to rub my back sometimes?" she asked, mumbling a bit where her arm impeded her mouth's movement. "Back when we were younger."
"Yeah. You'd think I wasn't doing anything important and whine until I gave in."
"Didn't whine," she protested. "And it was only when you had a hand free anyway."
"Sure it was."
"Well you don't seem to mind doing it now, do you?"
"No, you're right, I don't. Of course, maybe that's a problem all on its own."
Anya rolled onto her back and I took my hand away, setting in my lap.
"Because we've been getting too close?" she asked.
"Something like that, yeah."
"We probably have. I thought about not coming over for a while, just putting some space between us, but I didn't want to do that."
"I don't want you to do that either. We'll just have to be careful. Make sure not to do anything else to make things weird."
"Mm-hm, exactly."
Anya rolled back over and made a show of finding where she'd left off in her book. It was my cue to leave her alone for a bit, at least until she needed another break, but I didn't particularly feel like taking the hint. I sat quietly for a moment, then started rubbing her back again.
"Okay, that's cute but it's bordering on aggravating now," Anya said. "It's still very distracting."
"Maybe I'm bored."
"Maybe you are. How about you give me half an hour and then you can do whatever you want to me." She paused, and I knew I didn't have to point out what she'd just said. "That came out wrong. You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm really not sure what I can do that won't distract you though."
"I don't know, go play on your computer or something. Whatever you want, just as long as you keep your hands to yourself."
"Fine, no touching."
Anya watched me out of the corner of her eye for a while, but I kept my word and didn't touch her. Mostly I just waited for her to let her guard down, and when she did I leaned down and blew in her ear. I was an experienced veteran of the 'I'm not touching you' games we played as kids and knew exactly where it would bother her most.
What I wasn't expecting was her response, which was to shove me hard enough to make me fall off the bed onto the floor. I burst out laughing even while she glared at me with mock-fury.
"Swear to god you're being just like a kid tonight," she said. "Are you really that desperate for attention?"
"You're the one who came to me," I reminded her.
"I know, I know. Now I'm thinking that it might have been a mistake."
"Why, just 'cause I'm being a little aggravating? You can usually handle that better."
"That, plus you've been making things very confusing for me."
"How?"
"You know how."
I was still lying on the floor, with no immediate urge to move. Anya moved to the edge of the bed and sat cross-legged, with a look on her face like I was a math problem she just couldn't figure out.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm kind of confused too," I said.
"That actually doesn't help," she said. "It'd be a lot easier if you could just tell me what I'm supposed to do, but you obviously don't know either."
'What do you want to do?"
"It's not that I want to do anything, I just want to be able to be around you without feeling like something bad's gonna happen."
"Nothing bad has to happen, you're over thinking this. I know because I have been too. Come here."
I held out my hand to her in invitation and she hesitated a second before kneeling down on the floor beside me, then lying down. She rested her head on my shoulder and let out a long breath as she let herself relax.
"This is what I want," she said quietly. "Just being able to be close to you without it being anything more. But I don't know if it's something I can even have."
"Because you don't trust me?"
"It's not that. I mean, it sort of is I guess, but it's more that I don't trust either of us. It feels so good when you're with me, when I can feel you, but then I start thinking about it and I worry that it's for the wrong reasons."
"Doesn't matter what the reasons are, I'm still going to be here."
"I know."
Lying there on the floor with my sister, I couldn't help wondering about my own feelings. She meant a lot to me, but I'd always just taken it for granted that things would be the same between us and now that there was some kind of issue to be dealt with, we were both lost.
"Your floor's kind of uncomfortable," Anya said after a few minutes.
"I am aware," I said. "You'd have to get up first though, you're kinda partly on top of me."
"In a minute."
Though my body began to protest at the discomfort, and I was sure Anya wasn't much better off, neither of us moved for a while. I think we knew as soon as we did either she'd have to go, or we'd have to try talking again and that hadn't been accomplishing much so far. As long as we stayed put we could just exist.
****
Part Two: The Things That Don't Change
It turned out finishing her university course had been just what Anya needed. Once she finished all her final exams and everything, she seemed to generally be a much happier person. She'd been regaining control of her life and relied less and less on me. She also got a somewhat serious boyfriend who kept her busy. It was good in some ways, but I also missed her sometimes and I had an annoying independent streak that prevented me from coming out and telling her so.
It was mainly the fact that I'd get to see her that made me show up to the party my family was throwing for one of my aunts. My mom's family was one of those ones that had an unnecessarily large number of kids, so I was never able to keep track of all my aunts and uncles and their various birthdays and ages and things, but I was pretty sure it was someone's sixtieth. It was a big one anyway, and a good excuse to try and get everyone together. Basically not my scene at all, excepting of course for Anya.
I sat in my car for a couple minutes once I arrived, trying to pick out Anya's car from the ones parked in the driveway or along the street. I hoped she'd be there already, but I couldn't find her car and eventually decided just to get it over with.
It was a really nice day out, sunny but not too hot and with only the occasional cloud floating by in the sky. It was perfect for a gathering like this and meant that everyone could sit out in the backyard instead of trying to squish together in the house. There was a gauntlet of relatives for me to run once I got there, necessitating the use of all my skills at being polite without getting drawn into a conversation. As discreetly as I could I asked about Anya and found out that she might be inside somewhere, so that's where I headed as soon as I could get away.
She was in the kitchen as it turned out, staring at the timer on the microwave and looking bored to death. She didn't see me at first, but she must have heard me as I got closer because she suddenly turned toward me and broke out into a wide smile when she saw me.
"You made it," she said, stepping forward to give me a hug.
"Of course I did," I said. "You didn't think I would?"
"I didn't know if you were coming, that's all. Someone must have guilt-tripped you into it."
I pretended to take offense, but she wasn't that far off in some ways. I certainly wasn't there for the reason most everyone else was.
"No one guilt-tripped me," I stated firmly.
"Oh yeah? Bribed you then?"
"Nope."
"Well why are you here then?"
"Nothing better to do."
Anya crossed her arms. "I don't believe you. I think you probably just got lonely without me."
"Yeah, sure. That's it," I said sarcastically, covering for the fact that she was actually right. "So why are you hiding out in the kitchen anyway?" I asked just to change the subject.
"There's some stuff in the oven, I volunteered to watch it."
"That's clever, gives you an excuse to stay out of the crowd."
"Thanks, I thought so. How come you're in here, since it's apparently nothing to do with me?"
"I didn't say it was nothing to do with you, it's been a while since I saw you. There's stuff we gotta catch up on."
"It has been a while, hasn't it? Sorry, I didn't mean to avoid you or anything. Ooh, hang on a second," she said as the timer went off and she went to check on the food in the oven.
I picked a free section of the counter and took a seat while Anya took some stuff outside. When she came back she put more food in the oven and reset the timer.
"Man, remember when it was all someone else's responsibility to get food ready and stuff?" I said. "And we were the ones outside having fun."
"Yeah, I guess things change."
"Guess they do. Speaking of change, is that new boyfriend of yours here, or are you still keeping him from meeting me?"
"He's not that new, and no he's not here," she said. "He dropped me off and left. I don't think he was ready to meet so much of my family all at once. And don't act like I'm trying to keep him a mystery, I've told you all about him and I swear it's not on purpose that you haven't met him yet."
"So you keep saying, but I think you're just hiding something from me."
"I'm not, you're just being too nosy. He hasn't met mom or dad yet either, so it's not just you."
"I'm allowed to be nosy about guys you date, I have to make sure they aren't assholes."
"I promise he isn't an asshole. You'll meet him some day, and you might even like him."
"Maybe I will," I said thoughtfully. "Maybe I'll like him. I wouldn't count on it though."
"Well, as long as you pretend you do, that's the main thing," Anya said, smiling to let me know it was a joke. "What about you though? You were telling me a while back you had your eye on a new apartment?"
"Yeah, I got it actually. I can move in the first of next month. It's only, like, fifty dollars more a month and it's way bigger. Got more than one room and everything. You'd be able to come visit and not have to worry about taking up my bed."
"Aw, but that was the best part."
I knew she was kidding, or partly kidding at least, but we shared a look for a moment as we were both reminded of the things that had resulted from my lack of furniture. There were a lot of buried feelings on both sides.
"Seriously, you should come by sometime once I move," I said. "I kinda miss having you take over my place whenever you feel like it. Keeps things interesting."
"I will. Promise."
****
Anya and I hung out at the party for a while, though I didn't get to spend it all with her and had to put in some time outside. Afterward she got a drive with me back to her apartment since she didn't have her car with her. Apparently, despite her alleged surprise that I'd turned up at all, she'd been planning on me giving her a ride all along. I got confused when she started giving me directions that I didn't think lead to her place.
"Turn left up here," she said, the second turn she'd told me that I was pretty sure was wrong.
"Um, is this some weird shortcut that I never knew about?" I asked. "Because this doesn't lead to where you live as far as I know."
"It does. Just not to where you think I live." Anya kept looking straight ahead, watching the road intently as I tried to get a read on her. "I moved out of the old apartment a little while back, that's part of what kept me too busy to visit."
"And you never thought to tell me about that? I mean sure, I don't come to see you that often, but still."
I was legitimately kind of upset over the revelation that my sister hadn't even bothered to tell me she'd moved, though I knew that it actually wasn't a huge deal. Mostly it was just another way that she seemed to be pulling away from me.
"It wasn't 'cause I didn't want to tell you," she said. "Or that I forgot. It's just that I knew you wouldn't like it."
"Why, is it a bad neighbourhood? Do you have, like, drug dealers next door? Or is there a new roommate I wouldn't approve of?" I caught a flicker of something from Anya as soon as I mentioned a new roommate, but she didn't give me any more of a hint than that. "Why wouldn't I like the roommate? I doubt it's anyone I'd know... is it because it's a guy? Or... please tell me you didn't move in with your boyfriend."Anya still didn't answer me, but the guilty look on her face told me enough.
"Well of course I'm not going to like it," I said. "You guessed right on that one. You haven't known him long enough to move in together, unless you've been seeing him longer than you told me or something."
"I know we haven't known each other long enough, I'm not stupid. It was just a timing thing 'cause I was gonna lose my old place. We both needed somewhere to live and...." She shrugged and let me fill in the rest on my own. "But we've got our own rooms and everything, and we agreed it doesn't mean anything. Not what moving in usually means. It was just convenient."
I let out a long breath and tried to let go of my negative feelings. Anya didn't need protecting, even if that was my instinct at times, she just needed me to be there for her. I didn't like that she had moved in with a guy I hadn't met, but in reality it was unlikely to be any more emotionally dangerous for her than any other relationship.
"I still wish you'd have told me," I said.
"Sorry," she said, giving me a genuinely apologetic look. "Take this right," she added, almost waiting until I passed the street she was indicating.
Soon we arrived at her building, and I parked on the side of the road with the intention of just dropping my sister off. She didn't get out immediately though, and after a couple seconds turned to me.
"You want to come in?" she asked. "See my new place and everything?"
"Are you sure you want me to?"
"Of course I'm sure. Granted that's partly because I know my boyfriend's not home right now."
"No, of course not. You understand this just makes me more convinced he's imaginary."
"I could show you his room, that'll at least prove I'm committed to the story if nothing else."
"You don't need to do that, but I suppose I should at least come see what the place looks like. Especially after bitching at you for not telling about it before."
I followed Anya up to the second floor of the building to where her apartment was and she gave me the tour. There wasn't a lot of ground to cover, something like a half-dozen rooms total, but it was still bigger than my new place was going to be and much bigger than my old one. On her insistence I took a peek inside her boyfriend's room and it did indeed appear to be inhabited by a male of some kind, but that was about all I could tell from it.
"So that's pretty much it," Anya said. "What do you think?"
"It's nice," I said. "And really, you should just ignore me and do what makes you happy anyway. If this setup works for you...."
"I think it does, mostly. I've been a lot happier lately, though I know you haven't been around to see it."
"That's good."
We stood there awkwardly for a moment, neither of us really making it clear whether it was time for me to go yet. I didn't want to linger too long, but at the same time I didn't want to leave. Anya wasn't giving me much help in deciding either.
"So do you have to go, or do you want to hang out for a bit?" she finally asked. "I don't know if you have things you need to do or whatever, but if you want to keep me company.... I'll be all alone otherwise."
I took that as a not-so-subtle hint that her boyfriend wasn't going to be back at least until tomorrow. As much as I still wanted to meet him and fulfill my duties as a big brother, I found I didn't really want to just then.
"I could stay a while," I said. "Wouldn't want you to get lonely."
Anya was unable to fully repress a smile when I said I'd stay. "Okay, cool. You, uh, want anything to drink or something?"
"No, I'm good thanks."
"'Kay. I'll just be a sec, you go sit down. Or poke around and be nosy, whichever."
I was left alone for a few minutes as my sister left me to do whatever it was she needed to do. Somehow the permission to snoop left me with less desire to actually do so, so I just went to her couch and made myself comfortable.
Before too long Anya was back, having apparently changed into a different shirt for some reason. She sat down next to me, though leaving a small gap between us. She looked at me for a moment, then scooted closer and I adjusted my position so she could get right up beside me.
"I really have missed you," she whispered, leaning her head against my arm.
"Me too," I said.
"Lots of things have been changing, haven't they?"
"I suppose they have. This for example," I said, waving my hand to indicate her new apartment.
"Yeah. You know, it's kind of dumb, but... sometimes I miss the old place. Even though this one's way better."
"That's not dumb. You lived there, what, three years? You're bound to get at least a little attached. I know that I'll miss my apartment and it's way shittier than yours ever was."
"I guess that's true, I'll miss your place too. I almost feel like I have more memories of it than of mine."
"Mm-hm."
I flashed back to some of those memories and couldn't help wincing at the more awkward among them. Anya caught the expression on my face before it disappeared and frowned.
"What, did I say something wrong?" she asked.
"No no, just... remembering things."
"Oh. You mean, maybe, some things involving me."
"Pretty much, yeah."
"Well don't worry about it. It's been, like, months since then. That's long enough that we should be able to look back and laugh."
"You think?"
"I dunno, maybe. On the other hand, and I know it's weird, but it is kinda nice that you're still embarrassed about it. That I'm still special and different from all the other girls."
"Of course you are, you're my baby sister. That's not changing any time soon."
Anya kissed me softly on the cheek, sort of an unusual display of affection between us, but not a big deal all on its own. She had to lean into me a little more to do so, and I felt the side of her breast pressing against me as she did.
"I lucked out getting you for a brother, you know that?" she said.
"I suppose you could have done worse," I replied while she distracted me by nuzzling my neck. "What are you doing?"
"M'just getting close. Is it bothering you?"
"Not bothering so much, but definitely confusing."
"Sorry. I wouldn't want to confuse you."
She started to pull away from me, but I slipped my arms around her and held her so she couldn't get away. She giggled as she discovered what I was doing and wiggled around into a more comfortable seat halfway onto my lap.
"I didn't say I didn't like it," I said, by way of explanation.
"Mmm, I guess you didn't."
Anya nuzzled my neck some more, then gave it little kisses while I just held her and ignored the part of me that really was confused at the situation. I let her continue for a few minutes before my responsible side kicked in.
"Maybe I should go soon," I said.
I got an immediate head-shake and an exaggerated pout.
"Don't," Anya said.
"It's getting late."
"So stay here for the night. It's dangerous to drive after dark you know."
"I don't think it's that dangerous."
My argument was half-assed at best and we both knew it. I didn't really want to go, and Anya clearly didn't want me to either.
"Well, what if your headlights stop working and you can't see and then you crash and die? Then you'd be sorry you didn't listen to me," she said. "Besides, I have a really comfy bed for you to sleep on."
"How comfy are we talking?"
"Let me show you."
I let Anya up, and she took my hand to lead me into her room, where she guided me to lie down on her bed.
"I can't help noticing this is not actually a guest bedroom," I said.
"Oops, silly me," Anya said. "Must have got the wrong room."
"I'm sure it was just a mistake."
Anya turned on her bedside lamp, then walked over to turn off the main room light before flopping down on the mattress hard enough to make it bounce a little. She looked at me and, no doubt due to a coincidence of lighting, her eyes seemed to glow for a second before she turned her head away toward the ceiling.
She started to say something, but I was already moving and interrupted whatever it was by kissing her before she could get more than a couple of syllables out. I wasn't entirely certain why I did it, or even if I should have, but at the very least my sister didn't try to fight me off so I couldn't have been too out of line.
"I was gonna say you could sleep on the couch if you really wanted to," she said once I allowed her use of her mouth again. "But I guess maybe there's not much point."
"Nah, I'm good here."
We kissed again, and it wasn't all my doing this time as Anya put just as much into it as I did. In many ways it was a confirmation of what I'd suspected was growing between us, which was something beyond a pure sibling relationship. There were lots of things that could be misinterpreted, but this was a definite sign there was something there.
"I shouldn't be doing this," Anya whispered.
"I know," I said. "Neither should I."
"You're my brother," she continued as though I hadn't spoken.
"And you're my sister."
"I have a boyfriend."
I paused for a second. "Okay, fair point."
"Can we just, like, be here, but not do anything...."
"Anything we shouldn't do?"
"Yeah, that."
"If that's what you want."
Anya and I lay there on the bed for a while, close enough to almost be cuddling. We didn't entirely keep our hands to ourselves, but for the most part the situation remained innocent enough. For some reason, despite how late it was getting, I didn't feel the least bit tired or even want to be doing anything other than just hanging out where I was with my sister. It was possible that it could have been due to some natural response from my brain anticipating sex, regardless of how much I assured it that was not going to happen.
Just because I knew it wasn't going to happen though, didn't mean I could keep my mind entirely off of sexual thoughts. My sister was right there where my hands could occasionally brush across areas of her bare skin, and where I could see those lips that I'd so recently kissed. Not to mention the fact that I knew far more of what was under her clothes than I should have. When I started getting hard I didn't give it much thought, since there was just enough space between us that I assumed Anya wouldn't notice. That only held up until a coincidental movement of her leg brought it into brief contact with my erection. I hoped she hadn't realized what she'd bumped into since she didn't react at first, but I hoped in vain.
"Was that what I think it was?" she said softly.
There didn't see to be much point in lying, not the way things had been going between us lately. Plus I didn't think she'd believe me if I tried.
"Yeah," I said.
"Oh. Sorry."
I smiled a little at the apology. "You don't need to be sorry."
"But it's kinda my fault, isn't it?"
"Well... I suppose it kind of is. It's not really a bad thing though."
Anya was quiet for a moment.
"Do you... actually nevermind," she said.
"Do I what?"
"Um, do you think it'll go away or... are you gonna need to take care of it?"
"I'm not really sure. This is a bit of a unique situation for me right now."
"I guess it would be."
She let the subject drop for a few minutes, but I sensed it wasn't yet over. Particularly since my erection wouldn't seem to go away.
As I was trying to distract myself from my own thoughts, Anya reached down with no warning and very gently touched the bulge in my pants. I drew in an audible breath at the unexpected contact and looked at her for explanation.
"Just checking," she said.
"You could have asked," I said.
"Mm-hm," she mumbled, clearly not paying that much attention to what I was saying.
I felt her fingertips on my cock again, stroking softly through the clothing that covered it. I didn't know what she was up to so I didn't say anything at first, but she didn't show any sign of stopping.
"What are you doing?" I finally asked.
"Shhh, I'm helping. Fixing what I did. Wasn't very nice to bring you here then tell you we couldn't do anything."
"You don't ha--"
"Shhh!" she said more firmly, placing a finger of her free hand over my lips until she decided I wasn't going to speak again.
Given no say in the matter, I simply lay still and let my sister do what she wanted. For a while she just toyed with me, no sense of urgency in her movements at all, and it was a few minutes before she even went for the zipper on my pants to get my cock out. There was a very exploratory feel to everything she did that was very different from when I masturbated, though of course it was all new territory for her whereas it definitely wasn't for me.
Eventually, after teasing me for more than long enough, Anya curled her fingers around my erection in more or less a standard grip, only backwards. Her hand was decidedly softer and more delicate than mine and it felt good just to have her squeezing gently on my cock. It only got better when she began stroking it up and down in an initially slow, smooth rhythm. Again she appeared to be experimenting and gauging my reactions more than she was actually trying to get me off, but that didn't mean she wasn't making any progress on that goal.
"How does it feel?" she asked.
I arched an eyebrow. "You can't tell?"
"Maybe I just want to hear you say it."
"Alright, it feels good. Really, really good."
She nodded as though satisfied with my answer, and shortly after that she increased her tempo significantly, adding more pressure to her grip as well. Whatever impression of inexperience she may have given before, it had obviously been an act, intentional or otherwise, because she definitely had some idea what she was doing when she put her mind to it.
Anya kept jerking me until I came, and I heard her gasp softly when the first shot of cum hit her wrist. Mostly I just made kind of a mess of the sheet I was lying on, and to a lesser extent my sister's hand and arm. She didn't seem all that upset over it though, not that she could really have expected anything much different as an outcome I supposed.
As far as cleaning up, Anya simply wiped herself and my cock with the already dirtied sheet before tossing it in a ball on the floor. Presumably she didn't care enough to deal with it just then. After that she curled back up with me on the bed and pulled a blanket over us. Almost as soon as we had settled down I noticed movement from her and realized after a moment that she was taking care of herself in much the same way as she'd just done me.
I scooted a little closer to my sister while she masturbated beside me and placed a hand on her thigh. I didn't know what the rule was about this since she'd just jerked me off and everything, so I inched my fingers toward where hers were already busy and waited to see if she'd give me some sign. She let me get fairly near before finally looking at me apologetically.
"Not now," she whispered.
"Okay," I said.
I kissed her gently, only for a second so she wouldn't have a chance to get upset with me, then lay back with every intention of being good. With the blanket over us I couldn't see anything that she was doing, but I could still watch her face. I doubted she realized how intently I was watching the tiny movements of her lips or the way her eyelids stayed mostly half-closed and flicked open every now and then, but if she knew she didn't seem to be self-conscious about it. I liked just to be able to see the pleasure she was experiencing, even if I still had the urge to be the one doing it for her.
After a few more minutes of playing with herself, Anya finally gave a little sigh of contentment and her hand reappeared above the blanket. She reached over to turn off the lamp, then settled down with me to sleep.
****
Part Three: Important Decisions
A couple weeks passed and the day finally came when I could move into my new apartment. I had some stuff packed and ready to go, but a lot of it I left until the last minute, as I tended to. It wasn't like I necessarily had to get everything moved all in one day if I didn't want to.
Anya actually showed up to help, which was nice. I couldn't entirely have blamed her if she chose to dodge all the work and turn up the day after 'accidentally'. It was less work having her help me move all my stuff, but at the same time I wasn't sure it was that much faster. She had a tendency to find things I'd lost and forgotten about that distracted her, and consequently distracted me as well when she showed them to me.
The lack of space being what it was, there were lots of piles and containers of things shoved in corners to be out of the way and not touched in months, so she had lots of opportunities to discover something she hadn't seen before. Or sometimes it would be something like a family picture and she'd drag me into remembering about whatever was in it. Thank god for computers, or there would no doubt have been plenty of porn lying around for her to stumble across too. Not that it would have been nearly as big a deal as it might have been a couple years ago, given our recently evolving relationship and all.
My sister seemed to quite like my new place once we actually made it there, and so did I for that matter. Although since I'd already been there, seeing it again wasn't really the same experience for me. It didn't take long for her to start picking on me about how much bigger it was and how I'd have no idea what to do with all the space I had now.
"You sure you don't need a map or something?" she teased as she examined one of my new rooms.
We were taking a break, and I was using the time to sit down and relax for a few minutes. Anya didn't seem nearly as tired, though she'd thoughtfully left all the heaviest boxes for me so that might have had something to do with it.
"It's like four rooms total," I said for perhaps the fourth time, although with slightly different wording. "You're acting like I bought a mansion."
"Relatively speaking... it kinda is. Bet you don't even know what to do with all these rooms."
"I'm pretty close to locking you in one of them, though I doubt they'd be soundproof enough to do much good."
"You mean I get my own room? Awesome!" she said, purposefully misinterpreting my words. "I want the big one in the corner."
"I already told you that's going to be my bedroom. You'll have to pick another one."
Anya leaned against the wall with her arms crossed and regarded me critically.
"Does that mean you'd actually let me have one?" she asked.
I shrugged. "I don't know why you'd need it, but if you did... yeah, I suppose I would. Why?"
"No reason. It's just nice to know I've got somewhere to go if I need to."
"And you had to ask? You've never bothered with that much before. Is there something going on I should know about?"
"I've just been doing a lot of thinking recently, nothing to worry about," she assured me. "You ready to carry some more stuff yet?"
"Yeah, sure," I said, deciding not to call her on changing the subject. "Let's do it."
****
It was only a couple days later that Anya came by again. She had mentioned something about visiting more often, but I hadn't expected her to take it that seriously. Still, I wasn't exactly upset to see her.
"What's up?" I asked as I let her in.
"Oh, not much," she replied vaguely.
She wandered past me, casually glancing around at how I'd arranged things since she'd last been there. Or trying to look casual about it at any rate. I wasn't one for prying, and Anya knew that better than anyone, but I got the distinct impression she wanted me to get a real answer out of her. It must have been one of those situations where she wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if she really should.
"Well you look like something's up," I said.
Anya hesitated a moment before speaking.When we talked last time, were you serious about letting me have a room here?" she asked. "I mean, like, for real. Like I could stay here."
"Of course I was serious. I'm not about to tell my own sister she can't be here."
I saw some of the tension leave Anya as I answered her, and the corner of her lips twitched upward in what was nearly a smile.
"Good, 'cause I have some clothes and stuff in my car to bring in," she said.
"I see. Am I to assume there's been some kind of trouble?"
"No, I'm not going to need to you to beat anyone up for me if that's what you're wondering. I just made some decisions, and believe me I thought hard about them."
"Such as?"
"Such as, and don't you dare tell me you told me so, but like maybe moving in with my boyfriend wasn't something I should have done," she said, glaring at me as though daring me to say 'I told you so' even after her warning. "Ex-boyfriend now, I suppose," she amended after a brief pause.
"You broke up?"
"It seemed like the right thing to do."
"And so of course now you need to move out. You understand I don't have a second bed or anything. I have plenty of space, but... my furniture hasn't finished adjusting to that yet."
"That hasn't been much of an issue for us before."
We shared a look, and without having to ask I knew exactly what she was getting at. That she was suggesting we share my bed, at least temporarily, was obvious. It was the things that went along with it that I was less certain about, but her expression told me all I needed to know.
"You want some help with the stuff in your car?" I asked.
"Mm-hm, I wouldn't mind," Anya said. "I have too many bags for me to carry all at once. It'll probably be two trips even with you helping."
"Why do I feel like you were planning on moving in before you even asked?"
"Because I was." She stepped closer to me and kissed me, backing off just before I could get my hands to her waist and pull her even closer. "I knew you wouldn't say no to me."
"How could I?" I asked rhetorically.
I followed Anya to her car and helped lug her bags back inside. It felt far too similar to not so long ago when we'd been moving my things in, and I wasn't in any hurry to do that again, but for my sister I didn't mind so much. Sure there'd be more to come, I couldn't imagine she'd be abandoning everything she couldn't pack in one trip, but it all meant she'd be living with me which was a pretty significant upside.
The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. It was kind of strange that I hadn't seriously considered it before, except of course that until very recently I'd had no clue it was even a viable possibility. It wasn't as though I could have known what Anya was thinking; for all I'd known, she might have been happy where she was.
My apartment was intended to be a two-bedroom place, and as such we put Anya's stuff in the other bedroom that I hadn't already moved in to. Honestly, I was kind of glad to have her use some of the space since I really didn't need it all. If not for the awesome location, I probably would never have taken the apartment to begin with. I just didn't need so much room all to myself.
There was a limited amount of organizing Anya could do with her clothes and other assorted possessions at this point. Mostly they'd all just have to stay in their bags, or be strewn across the floor if she so chose, but she spent some time sorting through it all anyway. I watched for a couple minutes while she tossed unimportant bags in the corner and left more crucial ones easier to access, and I didn't say a word even though I wouldn't have bothered.
"I didn't take much time to plan this part," she finally said, apparently sensing my question. "I'm not a hundred percent sure what's in each bag. I just wanted to make sure I had everything I needed."
"I never said anything," I said.
"No, but you were obviously wondering why I was sorting through clothes when I have nowhere to put them."
"That's true, I was. Can you read my mind or something?"
"Like I want to know what's going on in there. You're just not very subtle is all."
I grinned and walked up behind my sister, wrapping my arms around her waist.
"You might like what's been going on in my brain," I told her. "You've been in there a lot lately. For a while now actually."
"Mm-hm, I do kinda like that you've been thinking about me."
I pushed Anya's hair away from her shoulder on one side and kissed her neck a couple times. She leaned her head to the opposite side and exposed more of her skin to me, which I took as a sign to continue.
"Would I be right in guessing some of those thoughts have been kind of naughty?" she asked.
"That's sort of the way things have been going, isn't it?"
"I guess it probably is." She turned around and took a half-step back so she could look at me properly. "How did it happen though? Lots of siblings are close without it ever getting to be more than that."
"I have no idea," I answered honestly. "It just happened."
Anya nodded slowly, then abruptly moved in and kissed me. I kissed her back, and for a moment I simply enjoyed the feeling of finally being certain what was going on between us. I loved my sister, perhaps more than I should, and I knew she felt the same for me. If nothing else, the way she kissed me would have been evidence enough of that. It communicated some things better than words could manage most of the time.
Wordlessly I led Anya to my room which, being so new to me, was far tidier than it would probably ever be again. It seemed appropriate somehow, for two big changes in my life to coincide that way. Like some bigger, better part of my life had just begun.
"It's a little early for you to be taking me to bed already," Anya said, teasing me while she tugged on my shirt.
"Only if you plan on sleeping," I said. "I hadn't planned on that just yet."
"Oh yeah? What were you going to do?"
She pulled my shirt up over my head as far as she could, and I finished the job of removing it when she couldn't reach any farther.
"Apparently I'm going to take my clothes off," I said.
Anya had immediately gone for my belt and had it undone before I could free my arms. I grabbed her wrists as she tried to pull my pants down and she pouted at me.
"I was only helping," she said. "You're the one who said you wanted your clothes off."
"It doesn't have to be as fast as possible," I said. "There's no rush."
"I know, I just want you to know I'm serious. I'm not going to stop it this time, not like I did last time when you spent the night."
"You were right to stop it then. You had good reasons."
"Yeah, maybe I did. But I don't anymore."
"What about that I'm your brother?"
Anya mock-glared at me. "Whose side are you on here?"
"I wasn't aware there were sides to take. I was just sayi--"
I was interrupted by a rather forceful kiss from my sister, evidently intended to make me shut up.
"How 'bout you start an argument later if you really feel the need," she said.
"Deal."
Together we lay down on my bed in a general mess of lips and hands and increasingly bare skin. Clothing started coming off again, but slower now as Anya seemed to have been persuaded that she really didn't need to prove anything to me, and was much more willing to take her time.
For a while all we did was explore each other's bodies, a process that became easier and easier as clothes were removed until finally we each had only our underwear. When I got to Anya's bra I was just a little hesitant, but I got over that quickly enough and soon her naked breasts lay before me. I'd seen most of her body before in one way or another, but now there was something new and very, very interesting.
I didn't think too much of it, but I must have developed too much of a fascination with my sister's breasts because it caught her attention.
"Why are you staring at my boobs like that?" she whispered.
"Because they look nice," I said.
"I'm sure they do, but you're not even touching them."
"Sorry, it's just that what we're doing now, and what we're about to do, it's pretty huge for us, you know?"
She took my hand and guided it to her breast, holding my palm against her flesh until she was sure I would keep it there on my own.
"I know this is big," she said. "But it's good. It's what we want, right?"
"Right. I just don't want to go too fast and fuck something up."
"Mm-hm, I guess I can understand that. But I just really want this to all finally be real. No more waiting and wondering."
I pressed my leg between hers and she spread them enough to allow me some access. I could tell exactly when my upper thigh rubbed against her pussy by the way her facial expression changed all of a sudden.
"This feels real, doesn't it?" I said.
Anya bit her lip and nodded, even while her hips rocked back against my leg involuntarily. I didn't know what her panties were made of, but it was something smooth and sufficiently frictionless that her pussy slid easily back and forth on me. Unfortunately that lack of friction meant it wasn't doing much for my sister, and a small amount of frustration began to creep over her face.
I moved my hand down to the top of her panties, then slipped my fingers underneath them. I had seen her pussy before of course, what felt like a very long time ago, but this was my first time touching it in any way. Anya's frustration vanished as soon as she felt what I was doing and her eyes told me not to stop.
Her slit was already wet, though I didn't explore just how wet it was at first. Instead I ran two fingers up and down either side of her pussy lips, teasing her a little bit more and gradually building the amount of stimulation she would experience. I knew it wouldn't be enough to satisfy her for long, but I didn't intend to keep at it long enough to really frustrate her. When she seemed to be getting to that point, I changed tactics and rearranged my fingers so a single one was pressed right against her opening. With only a small amount of force needed, it slid right in and just like that I was finger-fucking my little sister.
Anya seemed perfectly happy to let me do exactly what I was doing. Her eyes were closed, but her lips twitched appreciatively every now and then when I did something she really liked. She even moaned softly when I added a second finger.
She didn't remain completely passive for too long though, and her hands found their way to the waistband of my underwear purely by touch. She rubbed my cock through the material for a bit, throwing off my concentration in the process, before pulling my underwear down over my erection and letting me finish kicking my last bit of clothing off my feet.
I was already pretty much fully hard, even though up until now I hadn't been getting much in the way of stimulation. Anya changed that as soon as she got access on my bare cock. Her fingers caressed the sensitive skin of my shaft and toyed with the tip where they spread around the precum that leaked out. I hadn't noticed at first, but she had her eyes open now and they were fixed directly on my erection as she observed the effect she had on me.
"You ready?" I asked quietly, though I still managed to startle Anya who had been in a world of her own.
"Mm-hm. Are you gonna...." She trailed off, but it wasn't hard to guess what she was getting at.
With my hand already in Anya's panties, it was easy enough to grab them and start to remove them. She shifted a bit to take her weight off where her legs met the mattress and help me take them off completely, leaving the two of us naked and ready for the next step.
I felt Anya's hand on my cock again as I positioned myself, helping to guide me in. Her body was more than ready for me, and as soon as I made contact with her pussy my instincts took over. She moaned and wrapped her arms around me, holding us as close together as she could while I buried myself inside her.
Her lips were on my neck and the warmth of her skin pressed against me firmly, but all of that had a hard time competing with the way her pussy embraced and enveloped my cock with every thrust. It seemed impossibly tight at times, yet never failed to allow me deeper and deeper until I had bottomed out inside my little sister. She gave me an extra tight squeeze as I reached that final depth, and all of a sudden her mouth was on mine, locking on like she had somehow learned how to go without breathing in the past few seconds. I, however, still needed air and had to pull my head back to get out of her reach.
An upside of putting that space between our faces was that I could actually watch Anya's reactions instead of only hearing and feeling them. She smiled at me as I fucked her, and there was such a combination of love and lust evident in her eyes that I couldn't imagine wanting to be with anyone else in the world at that moment. She was my sister, and that meant we definitely shouldn't be doing what we were doing, but that all seemed irrelevant. There was no possible argument that anyone could have made that would have made me change my mind about what we were doing.
I had no idea how much time passed while Anya and I lay tangled together, hips constantly rocking against each other as I thrust in and out of her pussy. The whole idea of trying to quantify any part of the experience seemed meaningless. Unlike most any other time I'd had sex, or masturbated for that matter, cumming was not nearly so high on my mind as it usually was. I almost would have been okay with never getting there and just continuing forever, if that hadn't been such a blatantly impossible idea.
I did eventually reach my orgasm of course, it was more or less an inevitability. Anya and I hadn't had a chance to discuss it before hand, but I sensed that cumming inside her was okay. Granted that probably had more to do with millennia of evolved instinct that my own perceptions, but it turned out she had no objections, and in fact might have been more upset if I hadn't.
For a couple minutes afterward I lay on my back, too overwhelmed by everything to move or think, or even speak. Anya was much quicker to recover that I was and raised herself onto her knees before straddling my waist. Apparently she wasn't yet satisfied, though I could have sworn she came at least once before I had finished. With some girls once wasn't necessarily enough though, as I understood it, and that could have been the case with my sister.
"I don't think I can go again right now," I said.
Having just cum the way I did, my cock was about as soft as it got. My sister's beautiful naked body wasn't enough to change that in this instance.
"Sure you can," she informed me. "You just need a little help."
Slowly, but with increasing speed and force, Anya started grinding on my cock, rubbing it aggressively with her now incredibly slick pussy. I had to admit, she was right about me just needing her assistance. My body responded exactly the way she was hoping, and soon she was grinding against a fully hard erection. As soon as she judged that I was ready, and with no real warning, she adjusted her position and lowered herself on me until I was fully inside her once again.
This time I didn't have to do anything except lie back and admire the view of my sexy little sister riding me and getting herself off. Sometimes she watched me too, sometimes she just closed her eyes and let her hips rock her to orgasm. I, however, kept my gaze on her the whole time. I didn't want to miss anything, even though I suspected I'd have more than enough opportunities to become familiar with all the various details of her body in time.
****
We finally crawled out of my room what felt like hours later, both of us needing food, water, and a chance to rest. Our token attempts at modesty involved me putting my pants back on and Anya stealing my shirt, which didn't quite cover her butt at the best of times. She seemed to enjoy 'accidentally' flashing me every few seconds.
Sandwiches were the very easiest meal available, so that was what we made. We sat together at my new dining table to eat, which was kind of a novelty for me all on its own. I got through about half my sandwich before I just got too distracted to continue.
"Never seen you leave food on your plate like that," Anya commented, noting my admittedly unusual lack of appetite.
She hadn't gotten much farther than me on hers, but she was always a slower eater anyway.
"Too busy watching you," I said.
"Oh? Why's that?" she said, feigning innocence while simultaneously moving her leg to expose her pussy to me for a brief second.
"No reason," I said
"Well you should eat."
She ripped off a bite of her sandwich and held it to my lips until I let her feed me. I chewed slowly and swallowed, barely tasting it the whole time.
"I love you," I said.
Maybe it was kind of an obvious thing to say at that point; she had to know it already, but I needed to say it. The way she looked at me when I did confirmed that it had been a good choice.
"I love you too," she said. "I wasn't sure whether I should say it though."
"Why?"
"Oh, you know, 'cause sometimes it freaks guys out. Not that I thought it would with you, but you never know." She got out of her chair long enough to give me a quick, loving kiss, then sat back down. "Besides, I knew you loved me, it wasn't anything we needed to say."
"So I shouldn't have bothered?"
"Now you're being purposefully obtuse. I'd know that you loved me even if you didn't say it, but I'm happy you did."
"Yeah, me too actually. Happy about a lot of things right now."
Anya actually blushed a little.
"Things worked out pretty well, didn't they?" she said.
"About as well as they could have. I think it would have killed me eventually if you hadn't decided to move in with me, and I might not have ever known why."
"Mm-hm, I was going a little crazy too. But now I'm all yours, and vice-versa. Wanna take me back to bed and celebrate it?"
I feigned exasperation. "Already? You're going to kill me even faster at this rate."
"Maybe, but it'll be fun finding out, won't it?"
Anya stood and took a few steps toward the bedroom. Without looking back to see if I was watching, she pulled her borrowed shirt over her head and discarded it, leaving her naked. Her hips swayed extra hard just before she vanished into my room, and I knew any protest I might have devised had just been successfully countered before it could be formed.
I sighed for effect, despite the fact that Anya probably wouldn't hear it, and followed her to my bed. As problems went, too much sex was hardly the worst I'd ever dealt with. And as long we had each other, I wasn't too worried about dealing with any real problems that might arise.
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