Capítulo 3: Chapter 3: Beginning: Verdict
Quick note. In the manga Kimimaro pulling out his bones did make bloody gaping holes, but it was censored in the anime to a 'smooth-ripple' effect. In this story, we have the anime-censored version. Because the healing-yang-chakra-in-the-skin makes a lot of sense.
I. AM. OFFICIALLY. PANICKING.
Juugo and I are being released; paperwork and everything! They haven't even had a Yamanaka mind-walk me!
Either Konoha is really soft, or there's a massive catch. Can't be the former because, you know, shinobi?! So it must be the other one and I am dreading what that catch is going to be.
As the guards walk us to the Hokage's office, I whisper to Juugo. "You okay? Did you stay calm?" He nods an affirmative, so I continue. "What d'you think the catch is for letting us go so soon?"
"You'll find out soon enough," says one of the guards, ominous tone and all. Oh great. I turn to the guard next to me. "I bet you ten ryo all the important shinobi in this Village will be there because they want me to demonstrate my Kekkai Genkai and inform us about where they're going to put us for the near future."
The guy flinches ever so slightly. Knew it. Bollocks. Karma, don't let me down now...
Let's see...Hokage? Check. Tsume Inuzuka plus Kuromaru? Check, check. Shibi Aburame? Check. The Ino-Shika-Cho trio senior? Check, check and check. Hiashi Huuga? Check. Uchiha Fugaku? Check. The two advisors? Checkity check. And last but certainly the least missed; Danzo? One check I didn't want to do. Because, you know, he'll probably push for some sort of Clan Restoration Act so he can have a Kaguya in ROOT...oh...oh HELL NO!
Plan 1: Depreciate while stressing importance is a go.
I look around the room, before leaning over to the guard; "You don't happen to have any water on you I could have, do you?" He looks at me like I offered to bitch-slap a Bijuu. "No."
I sigh; water would have been nice, before I put my finger behind my ear and pulse chakra through the storage seal hidden in my hair. I bring out my medicine pill, pop it in my mouth and swallow it. Actually, I still had chakra seals on, but I found a way to get around that. Did you know that you can channel chakra through your hair despite it being dead? I remembered that from the Sasuke Retrieval Arc when Shizune healed Neji by using his hair as a conductor. Since the seals only stop chakra getting to my skin and beyond they don't take into account that the roots of your hair start under your skin. So I use my finger to press some strands of hair to the seal, funnel some chakra and bam!
The guards shifted closer and into ready stances and all the gathered VIPs are looking at me funny.
"Apologies," I say blithely. "Genetic disease, need to take one pill every two days. Do carry on."
A guard snatches my wrist and inspects the seals on my wrist to find them still functioning perfectly.
"How did you bypass those seals?" Inoichi barks, Shikaku Nara next to him looking a lot more interested than he did a second ago. I shrug. "I figured out their loophole while still in my cell and applied a bit of bastardised iryoninjutsu. Still can't use any other sort of jutsu though."
"We should remove those seals now anyway," Shibi interjects. "Why? For you to demonstrate your Kekkai Genkai is the purpose of this assembly."
"You owe me ten ryo," I mutter to the guard as he wipes away the seals(they were some sort of alcohol-solvent ink, painted on after I was knocked out by the Sandaime, instead of the temporary paper tag ones he used on me initially). My chakra returns to my skin in a rush, like I just walked from boiling sunny day into a cool, air-conditioned shop. Refreshing, but because I've had them on so long my senses go a bit fuzzy for a second.
"...study?" Huh? Oh. Shikaku.
"Apologies, Nara-sama, just getting my bearings. Would you mind repeating your question?"
"If it wouldn't be too inconvenient, could you submit some of your medicine for study?" Why would the Nara...oh yeah; deer antlers, herbs and medicine suppliers.
"Of course, Nara-sama. If the recipe could be determined, I would be most grateful for the opportunity to stock up. I only absconded with a set amount. The majority of my supply should be in the scroll I had with me when I entered the Village two days ago."
"There are many shinobi who have had long records of active service despite illness," Old Lady Advisor pipes up. "What makes you so different that the traitor would choose to dispose of a valuable asset?" Oh yeah, she must be referring to that coughing guy with the sword; whatever his name is.
"Orochimaru wants the perfect body. I have a flaw, but was worth keeping around. I am no longer an accept able vessel for his soul. I think he planned to try and breed the sickness out of me though; he has labs for that." Cue the flinch from the Uchiha and Hyuuga Clan Heads.
Danzo is expressionless, but hopefully he got the message that neither I nor any kids I might have in the future would be ideal ROOT material.
"A vessel for Orochimaru's soul?" That's Chouza Akimichi now, but the Hokage beats me to the answer. "Yes, there is a kinjutsu that transfers the soul of the caster to the body of another, but it was never completed. It seems Orochimaru has made progress on that though."
"For crying out loud!" Tsume Inuzuka sighs suddenly. "Just demonstrate your powers already! We haven't got all day!" All eyes on me now.
So, I shrug off the shoulders of my yukata and focus my chakra. There's that really unsettling stretchy-wet-flesh sound and my right shoulder joint starts to appear and breaks through my skin. I reach my hand over and grab the makeshift hilt, before pulling out the sprouting blade. My shoulder heals over immediately. Spikes appear along my forearms, before retracting. I flip the bone blade hilt first to the guard, who takes it. "Careful, it's sharp. Roughly as strong as steel but I think I can get stronger and denser with time and practice. I have two other techniques, but the chakra cost is too high at the moment. And one I hate using." Actually, I could use Digital Shrapnel and Clematis Vine easy, but they don't know that and they won't for quite a while if I get my way.
"Who's the other boy?"
At Fugaku's question, everyone's eyes slide over to Juugo, who shuffles closer to me.
"Juugo's with me," I say out loud. "He's Yang nature like me, and he needs me to balance his chakra. But he's not a shinobi and he just wants to be normal and not hurt anybody without meaning to. He stays with me."
"I agree." Well, that came out of left field. I turn to face Hiashi Hyuuga, who has his Byakugan activated. "Kaguya's presence is having a stabilising effect on the boy's fluctuating chakra network. I recommend they should not be separated."
"Is that a yes, Hyuuga-san?" Asks Chouza. Yes? To what? They're deciding my fate, aren't they? Bollocks.
Well, the glance-conversations and some handsigning circuit round the room. After a few minutes, it seems they've all decided on something.
"Kimimaro Kaguya," the Sandaime starts off. Oh karma, who art in the universe, lucky be thy name...'
"Along with your companion Juugo, you are to be considered on probation for a year, or until we decide we can trust you. You will be under ANBU guard at all times for that year, reporting weekly to my office. You cannot take employment without the express permission of myself or a Clan Head. Housing will be provided, as well as a monthly stipend. Do you have any questions?"
Thank you karma, thank you rare Kekkai Genkai, thank you kind-hearted-for-a-shinobi Sandaime Hokage, thank you past-life foreknowledge...'
"BUDDHA'S SAGGY LEFT NUTSACK! Give a guy some warning when you do the ghosting act, will you?!"
And that was my reaction to mine and Juugo's two ANBU watchers popping up in our apartment building. Seriously, they're like the Hounds of Tindalos; they are always behind you and come out of the dark corners. Oh, and here's the thing, they are none other than Kakashi and Tenzo. Yeah.
Mind.
Blown.
The spiky silver hair, the green and red stripy cat-bear-face and the fact that they're so short gave it away. Of course, it makes sense once you think about it. Tenzo is one of Orochimaru's former experiments, so...I dunno...empathy, perhaps? Possibly the fact he could restrain us with the least damage with his Mokuton? Kakashi's strong; one reason. And I suspect putting him on what is basically a part-time babysitting mission for a year is the Sandaime's way of making him relax. Kakashi was a pretty driven(understatement), take-all-the-kamikaze-missions-yet-bring-everyone-back-alive-because-abandonment-and-guilt-issues ANBU at this stage of his life if I remember correctly.
I think he's getting some sort of perverse enjoyment out of making me jump. My fellow-snarky-bastard-senses tingle when he looks at me after I yell at him. Juugo can sense him a split second before he even appears; baffles the ever-loving hell out of them both I expect. But that puts another tick into my theory.
The apartment is...small. Well, it was on the small side of average to begin with but with Juugo as a flatmate in what is supposed to be an apartment for one person, it's taking some careful co-ordination not to bother each other in the morning. I am not a morning person. I'm not the stereotypical 'will murder for coffee' person, but I refuse to talk to anyone before I've had a big cup of tea and something to eat. If you're lucky, I may grunt non-descriptively.
Juugo respects personal space like the lovely guy he is. Kakashi decides to emulate a robot, I think. For an ANBU, Tenzo is disgustingly chipper. I think Kakashi or his ANBU squad beat it out of him before he appears in canon. In the meantime, I am a calm man.
It's not all perfect though; oh the things that have happened since we moved in. A whole year of DIY mishaps, odd meetings and general mucking about. Here are some of the highlights...'
This is to set up the Probation Arc; twelve chapters(one for each month) of shenanigans and snarkiness.
Personally, I'm enjoying the lack of angst. One other non-angst Naruto SI I can recommend is It's A Mad, Mad World by Memory25. It's a little cracky, but fun. The other is Who up there hates me? by BetweenTheSeaAndStars. Again, very funny, but a little more 'butterfly effect' and serious. One with a civilian SI is Inoue Shiori by Hermionechan90. Treading a bit of a knife edge between realistic and MarySue, but enough fluff to melt your eyeballs, but a touch of 'real-life used sledgehammer' and creativity to rein it in.
Review with your favourite line or moment from this fic so far!
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