Capítulo 33: Recovery (Tails' POV)
After some time, Mimin seems to have calmed down again. She still refuses to eat anything for lunch, though.
She hasn't recovered from her depressed state, and her eyes haven't regained their natural shine either. She seems to have regained her ability to think and feel emotions, but I can't tell what's going through her mind now.
She's staying completely silent, not saying a single word, not moving a single muscle. I think she's probably feeling troubled now, but... I can't exactly help her if she doesn't say anything.
Seeing that she's not going to start the conversation herself, I prompt her to start talking.
(So... Are you ready to explain what happened?)
(...)
As expected, she's staying silent again. Maybe she needs more time to gather her thoughts? Then I shall be patient with her for now.
(Today... I tried to use the memory reading ability that you recently taught me about. The innate ability that Silverwolves and White Foxes have. And it worked.)
Oh? I taught Mimin how to use that ability around a week ago. Did she perhaps see something that she shouldn't have? Maybe I should have followed my instincts and not teach her about it.
But, what did she see, exactly? There's nothing in this forest that she could have seen, that can traumatize her to this extent. Right?
(...During today's hunt, I fatally injured a Horned Rabbit and read its memories before it died.)
Seems normal so far. Also, I'm assuming that the blood on her clothes were caused by some sort of accident. Mimin will never let her clothes be dirtied to that extent on purpose.
(I saw everything about the Horned Rabbit. The water that it drinks. The grass and meat that it eats. The tree hollow which it considers to be its home. Its partner who always accompanies it. The time they spent together and the things they did together. And... And...)
As she struggles to continue, a few more tears starts to fall from her eyes, which are already near their limit for how much tears they can shed.
(And... the newborn babies... that they have. Nine of them...)
Well, I don't see what's wrong with this. Is there something that I missed? Or something that I'm not understanding?
Suddenly, Mimin stands up and starts to lose control of her own emotions.
(Because of me, they lost their parents! Their family! Their parents were trying their hardest to live, as well as feed all of them, but I killed their parents! Just to secure a little bit of food, I destroyed a family!
And then, I realised... All those things that I've killed in the last four years... They all probably had families as well... Families that I destroyed without even knowing about!
How can I continue killing like this!? How can I continue living like this!? Why did it take me four years to understand this!? If only I understood this sooner...
I'm horrible. I shouldn't have done any of this. All of this could've been avoided if I spent more time to think about this. How could I be so ignorant?
This would all be so much better if I just... just...)
(What are you saying right now!? Are you listening to yourself, Mimin!?)
With a sudden burst of anger that I didn't realize, I interrupt her before she can finish her last sentence, ran behind her and pulled her to rest against my body.
Mimin continues to break down, but no tears come out of her eyes. She puts her arms around me and starts to hug me tightly.
(I'm scared... I don't want to lose my family. I don't want to lose Tails, Fluffy, or my parents. I can't imagine myself without any of you! But, that's what the nine newborn babies went through because of me...
I'm scared, Tails... Help me... What should I do...?)
(...)
I'm at a loss for words. This is what's on Mimin's mind right now? I think I understand how Mimin feels, but there's only so many things I can do to help her. She has to grow and learn to accept this eventually.
Mimin continues hugging me tightly, while leaning against my fur and crying silently into it, still not shedding any tears. How do I explain this to her in a way that can calm her down?
(Mimin. You shouldn't be blaming yourself for any of this. In fact, this is just what it means to live. It can't be helped. Especially about the nine newborn babies.)
(What it means...?)
This is difficult. Is there even a way to explain this? I'm trying to find the words for it, but I can't phrase it properly...
(Ah... It's really hard to explain, but you'll understand as you grow up. Trust me, Mimin. You shouldn't blame yourself, and you don't have to do anything. However, if you still feel guilty or responsible for killing other things for food, there's something you can do.)
(Something I can do?)
(Yes. The best thing you can do, is to thank them for their sacrifices. For helping you live another day, respect and acknowledge their deaths, and never forget that they once lived their own lives, that they were once part of this world, part of Phantasia. I think that's something you can try to do.)
At this point, Mimin is still hugging me, but it seems like she's already starting to recover. She hugs me even more tightly, and rubs her face against my fur.
(... There's so much that I still don't understand... Tails...)
(I'm sorry, Mimin. I'm sorry that I can't help you much. If I can explain things better, I would...)
(It's fine. I'll do as you say, Tails. I'll trust you. Thank you for listening to me, you are a great help...)
I'm not sure how much I actually helped. It seems like she just needed someone to talk to, and I just gave her some advice.
Mimin finally releases her hands from hugging me. It seems like she's in a much better state compared to earlier. This is a good sign.
(I'm glad I could help. Now, let's eat. It's already been a while since lunch passed.)
(...I'm sorry Tails. I just... I need some time alone. To think about all of this.)
(That is...)
I want to remind her that it's not healthy to skip meals, especially when her body has already weakened to this state, but considering what she's supposed to eat for lunch...
(I understand. Take as much time as you need.)
That's about all I can do for Mimin. The rest is up to her to decide. I hope she gets better soon.
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