Capítulo 20: Selfish Love
Warning: Strong words
"WHAT AR-" I was about to shout when Robbie interrupted me.
"Sssshhhh," he said putting a finger on my lips, "Don't! you will wake Twen up."
I quickly closed my mouth as I realized he was right. I took a glimpse at Twen's room and sighed in relief. Then glared back at Robbie,
"Why are you still here?" I hissed
"I-" Robbie started but then looked down at his feet as he continued, "I just wanted to see you."
"You have, now leave," I said, pointing to the door.
"Tony, you don't even talk to me. Whenever we meet, we are always quarreling. Can we have a proper conversation?" Robbie asked, almost pleading.
"There is nothing left to talk," I said, looking away, "How can I have a proper conversation with someone who threatens and blackmails me?"
"That- that I really did not mean to do it. I just-I just thought"
"That I was with my boyfriend, so you got jealous and lashed out," I completed his sentence.
Robbie remained open-mouthed before shutting it and looking down, nodding like a kid who got caught doing some mischief.
I crossed my arms across my chest and shook my head before speaking in a tired tone, "You have not changed one bit from high school. Time changes and matures people, but you....you're still the same selfish possessive jerk! If I was dating, why would I be staying in the company quarters where you have easy access to me? If I was dating, why would I hesitate to leave the job? Back then, you acted as though you owned me, and you are still acting that way now. News Flash!! I am not your property!!"
"I never thought you are," Robbie said, in an astonished tone.
"Really?" I asked in a mocking voice, "Then tell me, why are you forcing your way into my life when I clearly told you to leave me alone?"
"That's because-" he started with a desperate look but quickly stopped.
I stared down at him waiting for him to continue. I saw him biting his lips and his face scrunching up in a grimace. He looked at me and then down again, but he couldn't continue.
"I'll tell you why, it's because you think you have the right over me as I am bonded to you. Your guilt is not sincere, it is not because you loved me and felt sorry for what you did but because your conscience couldn't handle your wr-"
"NO!" Robbie exploded. His face had clear signs of shock and pain. He spoke through gritted teeth, "I agree to everything you said, but my guilt has always been genuine."
I raised my eyebrow questioningly and sarcastically asked, "So, is it because you loved me? You really felt bad for ditching me?"
"Yes," Robbie breathed looking like a puppy.
"Okay, let's say I believe you for a moment. Then give me an honest answer, had you come back and see me with my mate, happy and living a content life, what would you have done?"
"I would-" Robbie started fiercely, but I interrupted
"If your claim of loving me is true then don't you dare lie."
Robbie stopped and looked me right in the eye. I could hear the minute ticking off as silence engulfed the short space between us. Robbie's lips quivered as he finally broke the silence,
"I would have tried to win you back," he answered, truthfully.
I did not know whether to laugh or cry. My eyes started swimming with tears filled with mixed emotions. I stepped back, chuckling to myself. I felt like I had aged a decade just from his ridiculous answer. Robbie frowned looking at me and almost ran towards me when I sat heavily on the couch. I covered my face and kept chuckling as tears rolled down my cheek. I heard Robbie walk in front of me but did not say anything. I removed my hand and looked at Robbie fiercely through tears,
"And you claim that you love me."
Robbie looked puzzled. He clearly did not get my context. "What are you-"
"Don't you see the issue? Win me back? I am not a trophy to be won!! You would have disregarded my will completely. I am happy and content with my mate, and you did not care at all!! If you truly loved me, you would not have come between us or competed with my mate. You would have left me alone. You would not have tried to make my life miserable, you would have been happy seeing me happy. For you getting me is more important than my HAPPINESS!! You do not give two sh*ts if I want you back in my life or if I even want to be with you!! Your love is nothing but SELFISH. Because you love me, you have to have me. You do not care if I am upset, or if I love you back!"
Robbie looked stumped. It was like someone has dropped a boulder on his head. The room suddenly fell into deathly silence, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. I had the impression that Robbie was in a kind of trance since his eyes seemed unfocused and he was staring right through me. I closed my eyes, placing my hand over my eyebrows. All this angry yelling and quarrel gave me a headache. I sighed, feeling more exhausted than I actually felt. Just then, there was a creak, a rustle, then a warm touch on my hand which was over my eyebrows.
I raised my head to see Robbie holding my hand, his face stiff. He placed his hand gently over my forehead. I pushed his hand away. This was unlike him. He was a spoiled and pampered kid, so he did not know how to take care of others. Right now, I did not want to be cared for by him.
"I don't have a fever, just a headache," I said, looking away from him.
But then, I felt his hand around my shoulder and under my knee as he picked me up and walked towards my bedroom. What was he planning to do? In a panic, I said, "Hey!"
However, he simply put me in the bed, went to my side table, and started looking through my drawer. His unpredictable moods were getting to me. After some time, I saw him take out something from the drawer and then walk out of the room. He returned quickly and put forward a pill and a glass of water. I saw that it was a pill for headaches. I looked at his face, awkwardly, before taking the pill and swallowing it down. Once I was done, he took the glass and placed it on the side table. He pushed me down on the bed and pulled the blanket over me. Before I could question his intention, he spoke,
"Take rest. It has been a long day and you are tired. We will talk tomorrow."
He walked out of the room without another word. I did not know how to react. So, I simply laid back staring at the ceiling. I was not used to being taken care of. So, being on the receiving end of it, and on top of that from the very person I never expected it from, was overwhelming. The trouble was he was also the reason for my headache. I did not hope for love from him or anything for that matter. Love and care were too extravagant for me. When I desperately sought it, he denied them. He now wants to show them to me after I have gotten used to being without them! I didn't want to have hope and expectations again. I didn't want to be hurt again.
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