Capítulo 14: Reality is often cruel (2)
"It's okay, Elizabeth. Don't cry," Nassandra tried comforting.
"That's right. Keep your chin up. Life will get better, I promise," the Grand Knight added. Seeing a girl around his own daughter's age like this made him unusually sympathetic.
"No, it won't," she spat. Her gaze shifted to Nassandra. "Hey…"
The knight frowned. "You're not going to ask a twelve-year-old girl to slaughter the soldiers, are you? Think about what you're doing, will you?"
Elizabeth looked once more at Nassandra, and inadvertently started thinking about her own sister. He was right. She could not do it. She could not say those words. Not to her. She clenched her fists and dug her nails deep into her skin, drawing blood. She bit her lip so hard that it bled. Without saying anything more, she ran out of the room. She could not stay there. Not for another second. She ran downstairs and out of the house as dusk enveloped the land of New Havens, blanketing the land in darkness.
Benedict chased after her, but he was a step too late. When she left the front door, he lost sight of her. He cursed himself. With how emotionally unstable she was, she was bound to do something reckless. If something like that were to happen… No! Not again! I won't let the same thing happen to her. His thoughts were a wreck as he sprinted, ignoring the pain from his wounds. He eventually found her in the barn. She was standing in the middle of the empty barn, deathly silent, without a single movement. Then, she burst into tears and loudly cried with all her heart. The sounds of a lonely and broken girl were heard throughout the farm. Benedict wanted to comfort her, but he hesitated. He stayed there, watching over, as she drowned in misery.
Elizabeth hated herself. She was delusional. She was powerless. She was a fool. The outcome was so obvious that she neglected it. She rejected reality. She thought her peaceful days with her family would return once more when she came back. She thought that she could laugh it off and think of this as nothing more than a bad joke. She thought that everything would be fine. How deluded could she be? She realized there was no such thing as a happy ending! This was no fairy tale. This was… the harsh truth of the world. While she was sauntering off in the world below, her family was suffering! Guilt, regret, hatred, sadness, despair… Every feeling welled up inside her and burst forth. She cried and cried, until her tears ran dry.
As Tengon mentioned, they were returning to Nightwin to report the findings. However, he waited until Elizabeth finished her mourning before leaving. No matter what, the travesty that occurred here was beyond reprieve. This was his own little way of paying his respects. He sighed. He normally prided himself in being quite a calm person. Using Arcania meant being calm and focused. An agitated heart would only find it harder to use magic. As a Ten Dawn, this lesson was engraved deeply into him. However, when he thought back to the Golden Nightmare and what he did… I'm twenty years old and I'm still so emotional. I have a long way to go before I can catch up to the Conquestian. He lamented bitterly.
The squadron returned by early morning on the next day without difficulties. Throughout the entire journey, Elizabeth had not said a single word to anyone. When they landed, she ran to her room and locked herself inside. Her body quivered as she held herself tightly. She was so very lost right now. Like a boat casted off into the great oceans, she was aimless. Every direction was the same. What was she going to do now? Her life was thoroughly destroyed. Even if the Alzar Kingdom acted on her whims and killed the Xingyuu Empire soldiers, would that save her? Would that bring back her family? No! Even if the entire Xingyuu Empire burned to ash, she would still be alone. The world was so much bigger but was so much smaller as well…
Hearing the news, Christina dropped everything and rushed to Elizabeth's room. She knew what would happen, but she let her go anyways. I should have stopped her! I shouldn't have let her go back! Christina believed that by going back and seeing the truth, Elizabeth would gain closure. But after learning about their fates, that was a silly dream. It completely backfired on her now. She ridiculed herself. As Lady Commander, she saw firsthand how depraved the war could be. She should have expected this. Now, if Elizabeth were to consider this world not worth living in… Then Christina would truly be crushed by guilt!
"Elizabeth, are you in there?" Christina tried calmly asking at her door.
"Is that you, Auntie Christina?" Elizabeth's voice was unusually hoarse.
"Could you let me in? Let's talk, okay?"
With a slow response, she replied, "Sorry, but could you leave me alone for a while?"
Christina could feel how devastated Elizabeth was just by her tone. "Elizabeth, I told you before that I'll always be your Auntie Christina. Please let me in… I won't be long, okay?" she practically pleaded.
Silence was her answer. Christina grew nervous and was about to break down the door when she heard the lock release. The door creaked open to reveal a dishevelled Elizabeth. Her clothes were in tatters, her hair was frazzled, her eyes were red, and her cheeks were wet. It was a shocking transformation from the girl Christina knew and it broke her heart. Although she only met Elizabeth a handful of times, she watched her grow up over the years. In a way, Christina cared for Elizabeth like family.
"What is it?"
"I heard about what happened," Christina said slowly. "I'm very sorry for you and your family. They shouldn't have endured such cruel fates. The Xingyuu Empire went too far. If there is anything that I can do, ask it."
"Tell me then…" Elizabeth fell to her knees. "What am I supposed to do now? Where do I go now?"
"For now, I'll still be taking you to the capital. The general has agreed to allow us to join him. Once you meet with Lord Korogin and Queen Bethnal, I hope everything will become clearer."
"The capital, huh?" she repeated dully. Perhaps I'll let the waves wash me to a new shore… Wherever she was bound to go, it was better than here, right?
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