Capítulo 11: XI
It was quiet. Strangely quiet. He would have called it completely silent if he hadn't been able to hear the sound of the blood rushing past his ears.
He floated there in the sea of blood, deprived of hearing and vision. It's not like he could open his eyes in the first place, and even if he could, there wasn't anything to see anyway.
Was this what death felt like? Like simply existing, suspended in a liquid substance forever?
He wasn't sure if this was death or not, but whatever the case may be, he decided he didn't like it all that much.
It would get boring and tedious quickly, that was for certain. After all, he was already beginning to get bored. Maybe he should recite the alphabet backward, or go through all the times tables from one to twelve. Maybe he should name all the countries in Europe, or try to remember what he had eaten for dinner last week.
"Jimin."
And now he was hallucinating. Great. Just great.
"Jimin."
The voice didn't hold the same malice as the others, instead, it was gentle and soothing. He relaxed and let himself be swept away by the timbre of their voice. He was only sure of one thing - he could listen to that voice forever.
"Jimin."
Did it know how to say anything other than his name? That would get old fast, no matter how nice the voice was. Maybe he should teach it to sing something...
"Jimin, wake up."
So it did know other words. That was reassuring. Maybe he wasn't completely losing his mind after all.
A hiss cut off the voice suddenly and Jimin frowned. Was the voice leaving him?
No, he wanted to shout, come back-
"I suppose the game is over for now, Park Jimin," Jiyong growled, "but you will come back and I will be waiting here for you. I will always, always be here. Waiting, listening... Every time you sleep you could fall back here, you know. And when you do..."
A heartbeat. Two.
"We'll have some fun, won't we, Park Jimin?"
He could feel the smirk on Jiyong's face as the sounds faded.
Jimin blinked his eyes open only to see Yoongi's concerned face staring back at him.
"Are you alright?" He asked, helping Jimin to sit up. "You screamed in your sleep."
Jimin rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and shook his head. "Just a nightmare. That's all it was."
He hoped that's all it was.
"I don't believe you, but I know you're not going to say anything more," Yoongi sighed but relented.
"You're right on that," Jimin agreed with a yawn.
"I should go call Jin or T-" he stopped short. "I should call Jin."
He got up from the couch and meandered his way over to the stairs. When he opened the door to his room, he noticed the shattered remains of his phone and swore loudly.
Yoongi looked over his shoulder and grimaced. "Looks like you'll have to get a new phone."
"No shit, Sherlock. Thank you for that thrilling deduction."
"I try," Yoongi deadpanned. "I can bring you to the place I got mine if you want."
Jimin shrugged.
"It's not like I have much of a choice."
He picked up his phone and shoved it into a plastic bag the second they went back downstairs. "Sorry, mom. Gotta go get a new phone."
She just looked over with a concerned yet disappointed expression.
"You boys are staying here for the rest of the day," She scolded. "Something bad has happened every time you've left. I would be a shit excuse for a mother if I just let you go again, new phone or not. And besides… Shower. Now."
Jimin rolled his eyes but dragged Yoongi over to a closet in the hall and pulled out a fluffy towel that he could use.
"So... Uh... How do you want to do this?" Jimin asked in what was likely the most awkward way he could and he looked anywhere but at Yoongi's face.
Jimin glanced up to see Yoongi looking completely unimpressed.
"I'm not gonna eat you, Jimin. Relax," Yoongi scolded with a roll of his eyes.
Jimin just looked away again and shuffled towards the bathroom.
"You can, um, go first if you want."
Yoongi scoffed. "I'm not the one who kneeled in blood."
Jimin sighed. "But still-"
"You have your shower first," Yoongi's tone left no room for arguments. Jimin bit his lip and looked down at the floor.
"Um, Yoongi?"
"Yeah?" He seemed surprised that Jimin wanted to talk instead of just starting the shower, but Jimin just pressed on anyway.
"Could you..." He paused. Was he really doing this?
Fuck it.
He would deal with the consequences later.
"Could you come in with me?" He fidgeted nervously and looked at his feet, wishing the floor could just open up beneath him.
Yoongi was silent and that made Jimin begin to regret his words.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have-"
"Alright."
"What?" Jimin blinked up at Yoongi who just stood there nonchalantly.
"I said alright. Are you gonna actually get going or just stand there?" Yoongi walked past him and into the washroom, setting down the towels.
Jimin just stared. What the hell was happening?
Yoongi shot him another look and he slowly walked down the hall.
"Jimin, do you mind if I go grab you some clothes?" Yoongi asked once Jimin had entered the small bathroom.
"Uh...Not at all. Go ahead," He stammered. Yoongi walked out of the room and Jimin tried to calm his heart.
He looked in the mirror and grimaced. The bags under his eyes were the darkest he had ever seen them. He hadn't been sleeping well since the first attack and that had been over a month ago.
And now that he would rather stay awake than get trapped in that nightmare again, they would only be getting darker.
Yoongi returned shortly with a pile of clothes and dumped them unceremoniously on the toilet seat.
"Well?" He stared at Jimin as if he was waiting for something. Jimin stared right back. He had no idea what Yoongi wanted.
"Well, what?"
"Are you getting in?"
Jimin flushed and turned away.
"You can't look," He muttered, just barely loud enough to be heard.
"I won't," Yoongi confirmed, closing his eyes.
Jimin shifted awkwardly. "Maybe turn around."
"And stare right at the mirror. Great idea," Yoongi deadpanned and Jimin flushed from embarrassment.
"Ok, then don't do that," Jimin grumbled. He glared as Yoongi chuckled, but Yoongi never once opened his eyes.
He slipped out of the dirty clothes and shoved them into a corner with his foot before stepping into the bathtub. He switched the water on and got it to the right temperature and then switched the flow up to the showerhead that hung from the wall above. Jimin relaxed and sighed as the warm water hit his skin. He had missed this.
He remembered that the shower curtain existed and quickly pulled it across.
"You can open your eyes now," Jimin said nervously above the water.
For a few moments, only the sound of the water could be heard. Jimin reached out to grab some shampoo but stopped short.
"Yoongi?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
Jimin couldn't see Yoongi's expression from in the shower and it made him nervous. He didn't want to screw up.
"This is probably really awkward for you," He mumbled after he turned the water off and beginning to work the shampoo through his hair.
"It's only awkward if you make it that way," Yoongi replied. "Are you done already?"
Yoongi's hand wrapped around the edge of the curtain and Jimin began to panic.
"NO I'M NOT DONE! I JUST STARTED WASHING MY HAIR!" He shouted with probably a lot more force than necessary. The hand stilled.
"Oh. Sorry."
Yoongi let go of the curtain and pulled his hand back and Jimin relaxed a little bit. He wasn't expecting that.
The silence returned, even more awkward than before, if that were possible.
"If you want," Yoongi said quietly with obvious hesitance, "I could wash your hair for you?"
Jimin's breath hitched in his throat.
"What did you say?" He had heard wrong, he was sure of it.
"I'll wash your hair."
Should he or should he not?
With every second he thought, he knew that Yoongi must be regretting his words more and more.
"Actually, maybe that isn't a good ide-"
"Yes," Jimin cut him off before he could take back the offer. "Please."
Jimin lowered himself down into the tub and sat there, fidgeting nervously and blush surely rising on his cheeks. He brought his legs up self consciously to hide everything he could and hugged them close to his body.
Not even five seconds later, he heard the shower curtain slide back and he could feel Yoongi kneeling just behind him.
He almost gasped when he felt strong fingers work their way through his hair and spread the shampoo throughout it. Jimin relaxed and couldn't help leaning his head back, closing his eyes and surrendering control.
It felt nice.
Comforting.
"Do you want me to do conditioner too?" Jimin opened an eye when he heard Yoongi's deep voice. Had it always sounded that nice? That... Attractive?
"Wha-?" Jimin slurred before answering. "Yeah, sure. How did you know I use conditioner?"
He already knew that he was attracted to Yoongi. That wasn't anything new. What was new was just how much Yoongi's presence calmed him. He felt safe with Yoongi, like nothing could ever hurt him.
"Your hair," Was Yoongi's reply, "'s soft."
He felt his cheeks burn and he hoped Yoongi wouldn't notice.
"... Thanks."
Yoongi hummed and then nudged Jimin to sit up properly before he rinsed the shampoo out, taking care to ensure that none of it ended up in Jimin's eyes.
"Can you pass me the conditioner?" Yoongi asked then. Jimin nodded silently and reached over to grab the bottle.
He flushed in embarrassment when he realized he'd have to at least crouch to reach it. It was times like this when he really cursed his height. He chanced a glance over his shoulder and saw Yoongi looking away respectfully.
He didn't want to feel disappointed, but he did anyway despite being mortified at the thought of Yoongi seeing him.
He handed the bottle over and settled back down into the tub, face probably as read as a tomato. Soon enough, Yoongi's fingers were massaging the conditioner into his scalp and roots. He held back a smile at the sensation.
It felt nice. Really, really nice.
"I'm sorry for making you come in here with me," Jimin whispered. Yoongi stilled in his massaging for barely a second before he kept going.
"Don't be. I don't do shit that I don't want to," Yoongi answered with barely a thought.
Jimin didn't want to get his hopes up. He probably didn't mean it that way. There wasn't a chance of that.
"And I understand," Yoongi continued, "I wouldn't want to be all alone either."
Jimin looked down. That wasn't it.
"I just..." wanted comfort. No that wasn't it. Something else.
"I..." was afraid that you would die if I let you out of my sight.
"What is it Jimin?" Yoongi asked patiently.
"I still feel shaky," He lied. "I didn't want to fall and then not have anyone around to hear me."
Could he mess up any more? That wasn't anywhere close to the truth.
"I get it," Yoongi replied gently. "Shit happened and you're probably still partly in shock."
Well, that was one way to put it.
But what he really wanted to say, what he really wanted Yoongi to know was much simpler. Just three short words.
I
Love
You
But he couldn't say them.
This wasn't the right time or place for it. He just relaxed as Yoongi continued running his fingers through his hair.
In his opinion, it didn't last anywhere long enough before Yoongi gently rinsed all the conditioner out.
He turned away and closed his eyes so Jimin could get out without feeling embarrassed and that alone meant so much more to Jimin than Yoongi would ever understand.
He continued looking away until Jimin was dressed and gave him the okay.
"You don't have to stay in here," Yoongi said simply before beginning to lift the hem of his shirt.
Jimin squeaked and looked away as quickly as he could.
"You can use my phone if you want," Yoongi said suddenly.
"What why?" Jimin was stunned but didn't turn around.
"You wanted to call your friends, right?" Yoongi replied as Jimin heard the sound of clothes hitting the floor. "And since yours is fucked..."
"Thanks. I'll do that," He waited until he heard Yoongi get in the tub to leave.
"My password is just the first five digits of the Fibonacci series!" Yoongi called after him.
Jimin found the phone in his bedroom on his bed. He entered the password and then called Jin's number from memory.
It hadn't even rung once when it was picked up.
"Yes? Who is it?"
"Jin. It's me," Jimin said excitedly. "You're feeling better?"
"Jimin!? But this isn't your number..." Jin answered.
"This is Yoongi's phone. Mine's broken."
"Broken!? How!?" Jimin had to hold the phone away from his ear to save his hearing.
"I might have thrown it at a wall"
"You know what?" Jin sounded extremely exasperated. "I'm not gonna ask."
"Good."
"But yeah. I'm feeling better. My fever went away this morning."
Jimin smiled. "That's good. Did Kook pass along my message?"
Jin groaned. "Sure did. You owe us a movie night."
"I know, don't worry," Jimin laughed. He sobered immediately though.
"A lot has happened here in the past couple days," Jimin admitted quietly and seriously.
Jin was silent. "What do you mean by that? Did you finally kiss the hottie?"
"Jin. Be serious here," Jimin wasn't in the mood.
"Well? What happened?" Jimin sighed when Jin asked.
"Too much. I wish I was back in Seoul with you all."
"We wish you were here too."
Jimin looked down. "I'm not so sure about that."
"Jimin?"
"It's Tae. He sounded so... Angry. He said to stop calling. I'm worried Jin."
"So it isn't just me who thinks he's been off lately," Jin whispered. "He showed up at the house last night and asked to stay over. Again."
Jimin frowned. "I know he likes being spontaneous, but impromptu sleepovers almost every night? That's really strange."
"I know. He seemed jumpy too. He basically moved into Kook's room too," Jin admitted. "He showed up with a full suitcase and everything."
"Maybe you should talk to him about it," Jimin suggested.
"I tried this morning. He just ignored me," Jin sighed. "It's no use."
"I see," Jimin said dejectedly. Maybe there really wasn't anything that could be done.
"What happened there Jimin?" Jin asked eventually. "Are you alright?"
"I'm..." He trailed off. He couldn't lie to Jin.
"I'm not. I'm terrified that each day is going to be my last."
"Maybe you're overthinking this, Jimin," Jin answered.
"Someone was murdered this morning, Jin. I'm serious when I say that it could have been me," Jin was silent.
"Oh god, Jimin. You have to get out of there!"
"Do you think I don't know that!?" Jimin shouted. "But I can't!"
His voice quieted to a whisper. "I can't just leave Yoongi here alone."
"I see," Jin said suddenly. "Make sure to bring him with you then."
"That isn't the point, Jin," Jimin sighed.
"I know. But I want to meet him someday. Just because we only met in middle school doesn't mean that I can't be as good of a friend as Tae," Jin huffed.
"I know. I appreciate you so much, Jin," They both knew it was the truth. They talked until Jimin heard the water shut off and then Jimin said his goodbyes and to say hello to Taehyung and Jungkook for him before he hung up.
Yoongi walked into the room in the middle of drying his hair with the towel. "You're done already?" He asked. Jimin nodded and put the phone down.
Yoongi came and sat next to him. "You know, you really should get the floor in your closet fixed."
"What?" Jimin had no idea what Yoongi was talking about.
He just shrugged and gestured to the open closet. "When I got your sweater, my sock caught on a loose board. You've gotta be careful, you could get a splinter," Yoongi pointed out, staring at Jimin's bare feet.
"I never noticed," Jimin admitted.
"Well, now you know," Yoongi seemed so genuinely concerned about him getting a splinter that he couldn't hold back his giggles.
"What's so funny?" Yoongi asked, looking over at Jimin suspiciously.
Jimin snorted and laughed louder. "Nothing at all, just, I remembered something."
Yoongi didn't buy it. "Sure."
Jimin shook his head as he laughed.
"Honestly. It's nothing."
Yoongi rolled his eyes. "If you say so. How was your call?"
"Good, I think. Jin isn't sick anymore, which is good."
Yoongi hummed. "Yeah makes sense."
They sat together in silence before Yoongi groaned.
"I'm so fucking tired, holy shit."
Jimin just laughed again.
"Stop laughing at me, kid!" Yoongi growled in annoyance.
"Not a kid."
"Oh, whatever," Yoongi didn't seem to care whatsoever at that point, and honestly, Jimin couldn't find it in himself to blame him.
He reached over and wrapped an arm around Jimin's waist.
"Sleep now. Argue later. Capisce?"
Jimin sighed but still allowed Yoongi to pull him down onto the bed. He felt like he was on fire when Yoongi's finger brushed some bare skin in between his shirt and pants and he barely restrained a shudder.
Yoongi shifted closer, seeking body heat, and Jimin happily obliged.
He allowed Yoongi to bury his face in Jimin's neck and to drape his arm over his body.
Yoongi must have been exhausted. He fell asleep in only a few minutes and Jimin wanted to take a photo to preserve this moment forever.
He looked peaceful and unguarded, and Jimin loved it.
Jimin allowed himself to return the gesture and drape his arm over Yoongi's body as well. He cuddled close and held onto Yoongi's shirt tightly.
He was tired despite the nap earlier and wanted to sleep, but he knew the nightmare was waiting for him.
He frowned and brushed Yoongi's hair away from his face. Yoongi never stirred. Taking a chance, Jimin leaned forward and placed a sweet and gentle kiss on Yoongi's forehead.
He curled in as close to Yoongi as he dared, and then closed his eyes.
His sleep was completely dreamless.
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