The Light Maiden's Mark

LV 4

minyol

1.)The writing quality was good because the author was able to describe well what the MC saw, but I feel like more emotion/ reaction could be drawn out. 2.)The format of writing, I think, is not the popular one used in WN. Since the novels are mostly read on a mobile phone, more authors often opt to break down paragraphs more, so that it won't feel like a chore reading them. 3.)I felt like you squeezed in a prologue into the first chapter, I think you can break them down and then expound on them, because three different scenes squeezed into a short chapter feels too fast paced, which made each scene a little bit "half-cooked" per se. Anyway, the idea is there. The plot has a lot of potential. The writing needs more improvement. More power!

LV 4

VoidParasol

It's a good start, I agree with the first review (not written by you) . The concept overall is easy to understand from the get go, not bad. You have to revise your chapters too while breaking down your paragraphs so it becomes easier to read. Think of your readers and how would they feel to read a loooong paragraph without any light breaks. Dialogue isn't to shabby but please check examples, I see and know it's your first time writing so I won't go too crazy in detail. So far I don't hate the start, but it doesn't catch my attention as well. Synopsis is okay, kind of attractive to read. Do your best, it's always a learning experience.