Capítulo 86: Rooftop
"Avoiding you?" I said. Subconsciously, I wanted to take a step back and flee the scene. However, her hand that was holding onto mine prevented me from doing so by simply connecting our bodies and providing my with the evidence of her existence.
"Yeah," Luna continued. She then released my hand and slowly turned around to face me. "Why're you avoiding me?"
"I..." I lowered my head in defeat, knowing that I do not have any ammunition to refute her claim.
She's right. I was avoiding her. I didn't know how to face her after that night. Why did she tell me about her sickness? What was the meaning of that? I was afraid to learn more, afraid that my emotional investment will increase and when it comes time for us to say goodbye, I wouldn't be able to let go.
"You're afraid you're gonna miss me?" Her facial expression softened as she gazed at my troubled face. She seemed to be quite glad to see how bothered I was by the news of her illness, but at the same time, hoping that I wouldn't display such a countenance. "I'm not going to die until sometime near graduation," she said while smiling.
"That," I weakly forced out.
"Huh?" She seemed to have heard what I had whispered but didn't know what I meant.
I gazed at her in silence, feeling a great urge to cry but there were no tears. That feeling remained pent up within me, slowly building itself up, causing my mind to be filled with such awful and gloomy thoughts. However, I must ask her. I must find out why she can still be so optimistic about the world despite her grave future.
"Why?" I asked, feeling as the symptoms of crying slowly established themselves without any real tears. I still wasn't sure as to why I would suffer in this manner... "Why can you still smile?"
"..."
Her countenance remained blank as she stared at me. Her eyes observed my facial expressions, trying to decipher what I was feeling and the reasoning behind that question. However, she appeared to be content with what she had discovered from me and engendered an answer to my question.
"Why shouldn't I?" she asked me and smiled once again.
That smile was one that appreciated life, one that flashed so much vitality and vigor that I could not believe someone who was capable of showcasing such a beautiful and lively smile would lose their life in the near future. I just can't get myself to believe it and yet... it's the reality.
"For me," she then continued to say as she approached the chain-linked fences and looked up at the blue sky overhead. "I smile because I don't have much time left."
I remained silent as I allowed my eyes to follow after her. They saw how she moved her hand to her hair in order to prevent the autumn breeze from messing with it and took in the beauty in her behavior. My eyes was focused on this girl who was still alive, whose heart still beat in her chest, and whose lungs still took in air. She was alive at that moment, and she was alive in the next. That cycle will continue until she was alive for the last moment of her life, and when the next moment arrives, that heart of hers will pause forever.
Luna understands this. She knows that her time left here in this world is limited. Therefore, that's why she smiled. That's why she remained optimistic when viewing this world. It's the reason why she was able to be the exact opposite as me and allow her mind to roam freely in the world while I rot away in my prison cell.
"I smile now—" She turned around to smile at me. The wind continued to blow her hair to the side, but just so that her hair avoided her face. "—so that I won't have any regrets when I can't."
"Luna..."
Once again, I felt the urge to weep, and once again, there were no real tears. However, this time, that feeling to weep wasn't from sadness. Rather, it was from my heart being touched. At that instant, it was as if she had reached her hands in between the bars of my prison cell and I had returned the gesture. At that moment, we had our first heart to heart. It was a conversation between a dying girl who remained optimistic and happy about the world and a gloomy boy whose entire existence has been in shackles.
"So Alevian," she whispered as she smiled at me. "Don't be sad."
The wind picked up once again, moving her hair and skirt as well as my unbuttoned blazer in the air.
"For my last few months in this world," she said as she gazed into my eyes and at the me that I had kept protected in that prison cell, "I wish I can be around a happy you."
"Luna..."
I muttered once again as I remained in awe at the pleasant feeling that had now swelled up in my heart. It replaced the pent up frustration and gloominess, granting me relief from that melancholy as her words filled my heart with hope. She had unlocked my cell door and led me out of my prison. She was slowly leading me out of that lone island.
"So can you promise me?" She reached out both her hands to the side as she walked towards me while smiling. "Can you promise me to be happy until I'm gone?"
I looked at her, taking in the positions of her arms that were held out in my direction. Then, I smiled as I realized what she had wanted. Therefore, I took a step forward and brought my arm around hers as she slowly closed her arms around my body as well.
I didn't say anything. Instead, I focused my attention on the embrace that we shared. I carved into my memory the warmth and softness of her body. In addition, the scent of her hair shampoo as well as the fragrance of her physical body.
"I'll take that as a yes," she chuckled as we continued our embrace.
I simply nodded as she rested her head against my chest, pressing her ears against it so as to hear my heartbeat. She closed her eyes as she listened to the sound of my heart, and on her face was a look of content. She seemed quite relaxed in my arms that I wanted her to continue to feel that relaxation.
"You're heart isn't beating very fast," she then said in a joking manner. "Is my body not enough to make you exited?"
I laughed at her joke and discovered that she had once again displayed a look of joy on her face as we continued to embrace. After about a whole minute, we separated. However, I still kept my hands on her arms in a manner that I can embrace her when I wanted. She didn't seem to reject this gesture from me, and instead, she looked up and gazed into my eyes.
"Alevian," she then whispered, "you want to sit down and eat lunch?"
"But I don't have any," I whispered back.
"I do," she smiled. "We can share."
She then walked away while still holding onto my hand in order to lead me over to the side of the roof entrance where the sun shined. The two of us then sat down on the rooftop floor and leaned our backs against the concrete wall of the roof entrance.
She released my hand as she went to open her lunch box. She untied the cute cloth she had used to wrap her lunchbox and then removed the lid. Within the lunch box was a delicious looking meal, one that included a salad, some roast beef, rice, and a few other small portion dishes. Then, she produced two pair of chopsticks that I believe she had kept on top of the lunch box itself when she had wrapped it up in that cute cloth.
"Here you go," she said, handing me a pair of the chopsticks. I stared at them as I was initially confused as to what she had intended. That momentary silence drew a laugh from her, causing her arm to tremble. "Take it," she said between her laughter. "Or did you expect me to feed you?"
"That doesn't sound too bad," I chuckled as I accepted the pair of chopsticks from her.
Then, we began sharing her lunch. As we ate, I no longer felt that same cloud of melancholy lingering over me. In addition to that, I was no longer in denial of her fate. Rather, I had accepted it. This girl, Luna Mist Frostblume, will die and that's a fact. I just wish that her inevitable end will be in the far future and that we can share more tender moments like this together...
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