Capítulo 4: My Decision
I couldn't sleep well, I woke up at different times. Dreaming different dreams... One about myself, another about Jose, and one about Miguel. It all seemed strange to me. Then, at that time, every 4 o'clock. I had that nightmare, where my past was getting at me. I didn't understand why, but this time I felt like it was telling me something. I didn't know what it was, I woke up the girls and my brother. We all got ready for school, dropped off my brother. I entered Cress middle school, I seen Jose, and Miguel the two who I had these feelings for. Then, I finally figured out what the nightmare was telling me. *~You decide, decide who you want to be with, how you want to live your life. Who is going to be there~* I suddenly went up to Jose and me and him talked. We talked about usual stuff. I seemed to be uncomfortable around him. This was the first time I realized it. In 1st and 2nd period, I wasn't paying attention in class, I didn't listen to the lecture or the lesson that Mrs. Harwin had for us. I had a lot of other things on my mind. I seemed confused and these emotions I felt, I didn't know what to do. Then, 3rd period came, as always, we didn't have to do anything except walk the track and hang out. I saw Miguel, he was with his friends. My heart was racing, I didn't know what was happening. I thought I loved Jose, I mean, I liked him since towards the ending of 7th grade. ~Was it just a one time fling~ I felt selfish, terrible, and I didn't know what to do. Me and Miguel just recently talked, he left to go back with his ex. I shouldn't have felt these emotions towards him. Until when I thought of what we have been talking about. We talked about ourselves our true self's. I wanted to cry, I didn't understand why. No one except Angie knows, I only told her more of how I feel then anyone else. And yet I felt comfortable telling Miguel, I didn't tell Jose none of these different sides of me. I felt embarrassed, I've always felt embarrassed around Jose. Now I know what to do. This time, Miguel didn't go up to me, and we didn't talk. I felt kind of sad, ~Was it just a lie, did I get played with~ I felt sad. I didn't know why, but the period was at it's ending until...
"Jenny, I need to tell you something," Miguel called me, with his face blushing.
"Miguel, class is about to start. Your lucky I am your friend," I joked around.
"What is it that you need to tell me," I said glancing at him blushing a bit.
"I want to be more than friends. I had feelings for you back in 7th grade. When I broke it off with Samantha, I have been wanting to tell you that I wanted to go out with you, that I liked you. Until, I heard that you were dating someone else. I thought you didn't feel the same way. Then, 8th grade started and you were not dating anyone. I didn't want to lose my chance this time. I understand if you say no, this is all of a sudden, and that you like Jose. I don't want to hold it in any longer. Will you be my girlfriend, Jenny," He said looking at me in my eyes.
I was shocked, happy, and I was blushing. I couldn't believe he actually said that, Jose just handed me a paper and walked off. That's when I realize a lot of things. I started thinking about my future, and how it would be like. Miguel already knows a little more about me like Angie.
"Miguel, I don't understand these feelings, I thought I liked Jose, but for some reason I have this feeling for you. A special feeling I thought I had for Jose. I told you I liked you before too. Yes, I would like to be your girlfriend," I said blushing and smiling at him.
We looked at each other again for a long time. It felt like we were somewhere else, I didn't hear or felt anything.
"Jenny, come on we have to go. The bell just ringed we are going to get tarded," Angie said while pulling me away.
I looked at him as we left.
"Bye Miguel, I hope you won't get into trouble," I shouted out to him.
I turned away and I felt happy, I felt like I was finally going to have a healthy and sweet relationship. I also had another feeling, that there's going to be trouble along the way. That I won't have the time to breath, will I be able to control this... How am I going to survive this?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was lunch time, time flyed by fast. People were already coming up to me saying,
"Are you dating Miguel?" People said without having a care in the world for me. I replied saying "yes", I was smiling and was blushing a little in front of them. Then, the hard part came, I saw Jose. He saw me, he looked away then he came into my direction. He grabbed my hand, pulled me and we went somewhere else. I see Miguel in the corner of my eye, he looked at us. I felt nervous, and shy. I didn't want Miguel to think anything bad.
"Are you dating that guy named Miguel. I thought that you liked me. Jenny, why are you dating him? You knew that I liked you too. I thought I knew you felt the same way towards me. I guess I'm really stupid to believe it," He said looking down, having one hand beside me on the wall.
"I'm sorry Jose. I did liked you until, yesterday, something happened. I can't explain it to you. I really am sorry Jose, this wasn't suppose to happen like this. I still hope we can be friends. I can understand if you don't want to be," I said looking down and glancing at him.
My heart beated fast, this was bad. I had to leave. Then, Jose grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. I felt bad, this wasn't suppose to happen. I tried to release myself but he pulled me in harder.
"Jose, stop please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that this happened but it is how it is," I said crying a little by little.
I almost put my arms around him to, me and him never hugged, I wished for this to happen before. Now, I don't want this. I pulled up my arms and released myself. I ran to the bathroom. No one was with me, I felt lonely. I had to hold it in. •~Miguel~• I went back outside and I didn't see Miguel. The bell rang, I went walking back to class, alone. I see Jose entering, and I look to my right and I see Miguel. I smiled, and I felt that strange feeling again. I felt at ease, he smiled back. The day was at an end, I walked back home. I tried to sleep, I felt exhausted and I suddenly had bad feeling in my gut. I felt scared.
Did I choose right? Am I going to hurt others around me? I had many questions to myself, I didn't know that love could be this hard. It wasn't even the next day that things started happening. Just that the following day would be worse.
REFLEXIONES DE LOS CREADORES 
Mlxnhx
Mlxnhx I hope this chapter is understandable. Thank you for having the time in your life's in reading this. Merry Christmas Eve everyone ??
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