/ Fantasy Romance / A traveler that changes the world [IS BEING REWROTE!!!!]
Resumen
I'm 38 years-old single woman that had died because I gave my heart to my dear mother. I have very reliable siblings that will take care of her in my stead.
On her journey in another world, Mirta changes the tragic fate of the world and finds her happiness.
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The series is dropped because I was a very poor planner that realised their mistake. I'm starting another book, so if you want, Go and check it out.)
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Gave this a solid four because the author clearly has a good idea of where she wants the story to go, and though the writing could use editing, it's something that would surely improve with practice. For now, I would recommend for the author to use/install Grammarly, just to help smoothen the storytelling :) Spoiler alert: the MC is reborn into a magic society as a baby. It's definitely a fresher take, so if you're interested, give the story a try!
it was overall good, but i suggest you stick to one type of narration or to one perspective. But I can see the potential of your story although there are only 11 short chapters.
*Remember, this review is based on the first 5 chapters* Constructive Criticism: First, I suggest you remember to update your readers on when you will be updating your story. Second, I noticed that in chapter two, you came up with the suicide by gun to give her hart to her mother, but this part of the story shows a lack of research in my opinion... you can be the child of another by blood, but not have a compatible heart to transplant... yet you never really covered any of the information as to could her heart really benefit her mother (sure it could have happened during her unspoken conversation w/ the doctor, but that's not very good story telling). Third, here is a small mistake I saw: Chapter 4 Is: "Look at our angel, Amella. she can't take her eyes of the scenery! Her eyes shine like two ruby stars!" Should be: "Look at our angel, Amella. She can't take her eyes off the scenery! Her eyes shine like two ruby stars!" Positive Feedback: your story flows well (w/ exception to the point I said in chapter 2 above), you have a Pre-Story that seems original (how she got to this new world), and I don't see many grammar nor spelling mistakes. Personal Feedback: I can't tell what I think of your story as of chapter five, so I will continue reading at a later time... if I decide I don't like it, I will abandon it, otherwise I will read it until the end.;,;. Score: WQ&SoU 4/5 Rest 5/5
Revelar spoiler
The story line is really interesting and captivating. The only problem is inconsistency with updates... This can make readers uninterested after a while.
The story line is exceptional. I like the way the characters come alive in each chapter. Hoping their will be a connection to her past life sometime down the line. more updates will be fine too. Thank you writer.
It’s great so far, I’ve enjoyed seeing the details and intricacies that you’ve added, including stuff like baby voices. There are barely any grammatical errors and the updates are constant and stable thus far. The story is intriguing and I am actually looking forward to future updates. i still have some questions about the world the MC is living in but I’m guessing those will probably be answered in future chapters. Keep working hard and I’m sure you’ll do great. I do recommend whoever is reading this review to check the novel out and support the author. As for the author, the only Hong I want to say is good luck and have fun!
I like it a lot! It's surprisingly good! It felt fresh for my eyes to read a novel like this one here. I'd like to notify the author that there were some typos in some chaps but only minor ones! The plot is good and the author did a good job in describing the new world our characters are in. Overall, great job!! ❤ keep on updating!!
Hi everyone! It is my first time writing a novel and English is not my first language, so if you find a mistake or liked my novel please let me know. I am very grateful for any feedback that you may give. Thank you.😊😉
Volumen 1
- 1 How it all began. 5 years ago
- 2 It was my choice. 5 years ago
- 3 Reborn 5 years ago
- 4 First meeting . 5 years ago
- 5 My ups and downs as a baby. 5 years ago
- 6 My first time moving on my own. 5 years ago
- 7 Meeting with other people. 5 years ago
- 8 Motherhood. 5 years ago
- 9 My secrets are out. 5 years ago
- 10 Illustrations!!!! 5 years ago
- 11 My secrets are out . Part 2. 5 years ago
- 12 He will support me. 5 years ago
- 13 Family. 5 years ago
- 14 I'm not doing this again.... 5 years ago
- 15 Afald's P.O.V. 5 years ago
- 16 The world. 5 years ago
- 17 A game that became dangerous. 5 years ago
- 18 Surprise. 5 years ago
- 19 Having fun. 5 years ago
- 20 The start of my training. 5 years ago
- 21 What? 5 years ago
- 22 Learn if you don't know. 5 years ago
- 23 Language. 5 years ago
- 24 Donne! 5 years ago
- 25 A day at home. 5 years ago
- 26 A mistake. 5 years ago
- 27 Home. 5 years ago
- 28 Meeting. 5 years ago
- 29 The turning point. 5 years ago
- 30 Sorry. I'll do better next time... 5 years ago
- 31 The tears of guilt. 5 years ago
- 32 New teacher 5 years ago
- 33 I want to ask for your opinion. 4 years ago
- 34 The restart! 4 years ago
- 35 People, this novel is dropped! 4 years ago
- 36 I can't see this unfinished... 4 years ago
I like it! The plot is interesting and making me want to read more. Keep up the good work. I will be waiting for more updates from you in the future. :)