Fairly decent start for what could be an interesting story. While its too early to judge the story so much, the pacing does feel somewhat rushed. The author should probably let their writing breathe more, and create a better flow of events. Obviously, I'm not quite so competent a writer myself, so this is all I can pick out really without reading more thoroughly. In the end, it seems decent and the author should definitely continue.
it probably will slap him in the face throughout the story many times, but its not him thinking the world is a story and more so a desire to control and stuff, yknow
I mean thats not really how hes thinking, he just knows he literally can do that, not really him thinking of it as a story
thanks! hope you keep enjoying it
that's probably what i'll end up doing, tho not sure if that'll be a canon character or an oc character
I probably won't, thanks for the comment and yeah, im tryna keep pacing and quality consistent and stuff lol
it will but after the arc im doing rn its gonna transition more into the dragon ball story and characters more heavily lol, so dw bout that
oh I see what you mean, I havent decided anything regarding romance really yet so idk yet
wdym by polygame?
-
original World End System
Across the globe, millions were branded with a strange rune, granting them systems. The next day, the invasion began. Portals tore through time and space, and out came creatures straight out of fantasy, and these colonizers from far off planets, killed billions and began to transform the earth into their own habitats. Joseph, a mostly normal 16-year-old boy, for an unknown reason, was gifted an advanced version of the same system everyone else got, the Prime System. And now that his life has been turned around, he's taken it upon himself to destroy these invaders. The art is not mine, if you want me to remove it just tell me and I happily will!6 Chs 4 Sammlungen
- original
Dragon Ball FM: Rebirth Into a New Life
4.78
Two souls reincarnated into a new universe, one escaped into it, the other was sent by the gods to stop him. The first soul was a dangerous and horrible criminal. The second was Jesse Schwartz, a sickly boy who loved Dragon Ball and was hospitalized his entire life until he was eventually taken by his condition. In this new universe Jesse must train hard and use his immense knowledge of the Dragon Ball world to eventually take down the threat of the evil soul, should he arise. This is a remake/continuation of my other series Dragon Ball Rebirth on a different account. Art is not mine, if it's yours and you wish for it to be removed, just tell me.22 Chs 429 Sammlungen
Author here, I hope you all enjoy this new novel im starting, ill try to get a consistent stream of new chapters going for all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
World End System
Urban · PixiesONE