Just_Scissors

I did see that you fixed most of the pronoun mistakes, but for best results don't use the translator application. Even with your limited English, you have to go back and re-read all the chapters yourself so you can see all the pronouns and correct it (she, her hers, he, him his).

There were generally more grammar errors that could hinder the pace of reading and understanding. Author could go back and do some editing, especially the gender pronouns (girl=she, her hers)( boy=he, him, his). The story is nice and the characters are well made. The storyline is unique and has a lot of potential about friends and family.

Very interesting. I am intrigued in the sibling relationship and the MC's goals. I want to see what kind of plot the author has laid out. Writing Quality: I can see the quality of the writing and that you try very hard to edit. There is still small grammar errors, but overall content was prestine. I do have a pet peave for authors who tell action words, instead of showing the action. (Example: Sigh, *cough cough) Story Development: The pace of the story is perfect for this kind of genre. Character Design: I can see Zuifan's personality vividly. Just wondering if Chunu will have a big role because she seems invisible to me. Perhaps give her more descriptions. World Background: Good world building. So far the book is slowly explaining itself.