Ok, you are ok, but not so much, first thing: W-A-K-I-N-G!!!!! not wakeing! Second thing: as long as you do short chapters, do not change POW, third thing you try to explaun things in detail but end up repeating yourself to no end, you use "this" and other pronouns too much
ok, this story is fairly young so I can't say much about it, but there's a lot of potential, up until now ir's a good story, it's about frozen, a theme that isn't used much on webnovel, or better yet, at all, and the only flaw I've seen until now is the presence of little grammatical errors that can be fixed without too much trouble, apart from that I only have good things to say, and I am truly happy that I discovered this story while it's still in the early stages, I can't wait to know how the story progresses, and I recommend this story to everyone who is reading this review
wow, this story is coming along really nicely, I was pleasanty surprised when i started reading it, beacouse this story truly was outside my expectations, it's refreshing. you should just pay attention since you made some errors, sometimes you write "he" and not "she", and sometimes you use present simple when you should use other tenses, still this story is good and most importantly different, it's refreshing when compared to the same old webnovels I usually read. also do you have an upload schedule? I'm corius how much time I'll generally have to wait between chapters
ok, this story is good, but PLEASE stop repeating the same lines!!!! "silver lining" "almost too much.... almost" and others, i'm getting sick of it, the story is good but it's getting frustrating!
nah, first you test if there's a tutorial
After checking everything that the system had to offer, Quinn had to just think about closing the system and it did. When he thought about opening it again, the screen immediately popped up in front of him.
My Vampire System
Fantasy · JKSManga
Gasoline? Really? Not oil? Gasoline is pretty modern, it doesn't make any sense, the system would pobably make it pay something like 1000 dp per liter, unlsess it's a very inconsistent system, and why the 3rd floor isn't in fire or something?
Ok, he is a spectator......again, how did he manage to make traps? How did he manage to show the goblins?
Wait, how di he made traps, when did he buy a body? If he has bought one, then why he can spawn monsters? He should lack the Dp.
Ok, missed a thing in the review, it's not that you don't use apostrophes, you use them, but sometimes you do not, and it's easy to misunderstand when we'll become well.
Wow, I was really mean; I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I'm sorry for that, I hope you did not take it to heart, it's ok to make mistakes, the important thing is to always strive to be better; again, I'm really sorry
reborn in marvel as the ender dragon
Movies · mhafanboy25