A cool idea that falls flat due to poor unrealistic (even by fantasy standards) choices. Why is a 9 year old fighting in a war, and holding his like a grown man? Why is a man who lost his leg still able to sword fight mid battle? How is the gold company stronger, when his mercenary grip has 2X their numbers? Just silly not well thought out stuff. The grammar is decent enough and the idea is cool tho.
This is either Ai or a translation, cuz ‘leg’ is definitely meant to be ‘arm’.
Next, Monford Velaryon entered the arena, his rapier at the ready. Though he had lost a leg during the last battle, his swordsmanship was as precise as ever, and Aerion knew this would be a fight to test his technique.
A song of Fire and Blood
Book&Literature · Jon_Coat
The gold company has less than half their me? It’s not even a competition
Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
A song of Fire and Blood
Book&Literature · Jon_Coat
How is a 9 year old fighting grown men? 10 out of 10 times even the weakest adult fighter would k*** him easily, no matter how ‘prodigal’ he was
Aerion cut through the enemy with wild abandon, his sword flashing as he carved a path to the heart of the Volantene army. Clement, despite his injury, was beside him, cutting down soldiers as if they were nothing more than shadows.
A song of Fire and Blood
Book&Literature · Jon_Coat
How could he lose a leg and still fight? He would be dead from the blood loss alone without any aid
Monford Velaryon stood at the heart of the Dragon Company's defenses, a Bastard Sword in his hand. His leg had been lost earlier in the battle, but he did not care. He could still fight—and fight he would. The pain in his leg was nothing compared to the wrath that surged through him. His men were falling, but they had no choice but to hold their ground.
A song of Fire and Blood
Book&Literature · Jon_Coat
How is Monford the Lord of Driftmark if he is in Essos? Or does he just come back to Volantis a lot? Did he kneel?
meet*
They walked through those heavenly gardens, tiered above those streets of make-ends-meat.
Reborn as Rhaenyra's Twin - (House of the Dragon)
TV · ssyffix
That doesn’t really make much sense, since ASOIAF dragons like living near volcanoes and sulfurous places.
Speaking of evil water, I could have realized my arrival at the market square even blinded thanks to the sulfurous stink of the river invading my nose, I was once again reminded of why this town was so very aptly named. The sound of powerful waves crashing against the shores earned my attention as a colossal black dragon's head rose above the river. Yes, even for dragons, this heat was too much.
GOT : All Left Behind
Book&Literature · Numera
How am I being entitled by saying that it sucks? It ruins the flow of the story and continuously pulls you out of it.
| Year 105AC - Early night, a few minutes later, inside the Red Keep - With Aenys Targaryen:
House Of The Dragon: 'The Exiled Prince'
Book&Literature · Targaryen_Official
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original Naruto: Reborn as Itama Senju
Transmigrated into the body of Itama Senju with some perks. Will he be able to escape his fate and create a new path for himself in this cruel era? Or will he succumb like the original? Some AU stuff going on here. I don't know who the creator of the cover is, but if they want it taken down I will do it. Just message me.25 Chs 1.1k Sammlungen
- original
My Roleplay Server (Dropped)
Given the chance to reincarnate in a world with two wishes, who would say no? Especially when you could live a life you've always wanted. This is supposed to be a relaxed story about a man fulfilling the dreams he couldn't in his first life. There will still be drama and more adult things, but overall it will be pretty chill. The action of the story will come in when he finishes making the server. As of right now, 4/6/2022, it's looking like this is going to be a slower-paced novel. Hopefully, in the future, I can get the pacing downright. This is my first released story, so feel free to give me all your constructive criticism. I do plan on finishing this story. Please point out any mistakes you see. This novel is also on Royal Road and Scribble Hub.36 Chs 129 Sammlungen
What does that change about my dislike of cannons?
"No, you were right that the Wisdom has value, but from what the men say they are still too dangerous and imperfect. We will rely on steel at this venture. When you are lord of Dragonstone you may use them if you wish. Until then I have a duty to those under me to not put them at risk."
Game of Thrones: StormBorn
TV · GhxstWT