raisin_man - Profile

Glad to see you back

I’ll miss this. But I’m glad for the stuff you were able to post for us

Nice! I’m liking the story so far, but I hope the pace will be slower than canon. I feel like the one year for Bell’s level 1 - 10 is insanely rushed, and the story would leap in quality if Bell didn’t outgrow all of his companions within a month of meeting each of them. Like all the arcs are fine in canon, it’s just that one major event after another so quickly makes character growth less rewarding imo, and it sidelines every other character in the series. Like I get the faster growth, and I’m not against that, as it lets the MC meet new people and face new challenges as he progresses through the different circles of influence within Orario, but there comes a point where everyone else is just useless except for the one story arc where MC is briefly on the same power level as whatever character is being introduced. I feel like either Bell should have arrived in Orario earlier than he did in canon, or the events stay the same, but after Bell arrives the timeline stretches out a bit from 1 year to something like 5 instead. As that way his companions can probably level at least 3 times each, maybe more depending on different factors, and stay relevant. It would also allow for a slower (and better in my view) romance for Bell, where his initial infatuation/childish puppy-love can evolve into something actually significant as they (Bell and Ais) interact more and mature as their own actual people. Ais, coming out of her emotional walls and learning to love life, and Bell, being able to have his heroes journey and become the mature hero figure he wants to be in a believable timeframe, instead of a pubescent boy. More time would make room for some focus on growth and training and everyday life. It would also allow for world building to go on in the background, as each of the powers in Orario, and individual adventurers, have time to react to the shifting dynamics of an up and coming power. Instead, the story of Danmachi feels like time skips between major society/world shifting events that all somehow involve Bell, in which he is inexplicably and significantly more skilled than he was in the previous scene. Danmachi as a story has a lot of potential to be more and I’d be super excited to see a more fleshed out version of it. Sorry about the rant, just felt like letting it out lol. But you do you my guy, I’m sure you have your own plans, that are going to be great, and I’ll happily read what you decide to write. Us readers gotta put our trust into our authors!

These council meetings/ pseudo kingdom building chaps are some of my favorite. thanks for the hard work!

Dang, this story could’ve been a gem but it has the evil dumbledore trope. Tis a shame

Glad to see another chapter! I’m really loving the book and I’m excited to see where you take it

We back!

4 of the 5 chapters you just posted are repeats of the previous chaps

Nice potential, but the grammar is very bad. way too much effort to figure out what is supposed to be written.

Bruh don’t ruin this with a harem

This is amazing

Thanks for the update! I really love this story, so I’m excited whenever I see a new chapter come out!

Bruh, writing Onoki as such a raging moron is kinda wacky.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really liking this story, but writing the daimyo as such a moron is getting a little old. Everyone knows that to speak equally as heads of a nation, the nations must have similar military backing. The daimyo is just a walking moneybag, there is literally nothing he can do. He is alive and in power due to the mercy of the hokage, and watching all these scenes of him as if he actually matters is a little stale. I feel like it is all just build up to a face-slapping moment or something.

Bruh it was still kinda lighthearted till you killed sokka

This is such a great fic, and I look forward to every new update. Props to how original you are making things and using plenty of new ideas. Really loving it so far, hope this continues