Bpaat39

Bpaat39

male LV 15

i like...well yeah ....i mean...ok...

2018-10-03 Beigetreten Global
Abzeichen 43

Moments 137
Bpaat39
Bpaat39
1 months ago
Posted

I would just like to start off with saying that this novel idea was fantastic and I even quite enjoyed the first 20 chapters. This is despite the consistent spelling mistakes and missing words and just weird sentence structure. ( That persist to chapter 160 +. I checked.) Your story takes a swan dive into ironically enough straight into hell starting from the first paid chapter. Just everything changes. Hades becomes Bipolar which I can live with but then he some how develops a system which you explain pretty okay... ish... But every event you write after that is like you watched too many James Bond movies or just spy movies in general. Hades literally just goes apeshit at random. But then out of nowhere he's just an absolute pushover at the birthday party. Where all he needs to do is either not take out the apple or literally be like "Jk zeus here is your present you are the fairest of them all haha". Even then when he tries to shape the ordeal its like he just froze and melted down like a panic attack. Also, the texting scenes are really rough to read through. Speaking of you made this guy redonkulous level stupid. I have too many reasons to list out but I mean it tracks I guess because he is a mortal in A gods body but every other time you write him he's not an idiot so it really just leaves me feeling off. Sadly im not going to continue with this story which is terrible because again IT REALLY IS a great idea and you had me for the first 20 chapters it doesnt really feel like you reread any of your work and or sat down and planned any of it out.

Bpaat39
Bpaat39
1 months ago
Commented

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule

Bpaat39
Bpaat39
1 months ago
Commented

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule

Bpaat39
Bpaat39
2 months ago
Commented

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule

Bpaat39
Bpaat39
2 months ago
Commented

great chapter

Bpaat39
Bpaat39
2 months ago
Commented

Everything you wrote before the mass release was awesome i waited eagerly for every chapter no matter how long. But for the love of any god that will listen stop saying the same nonsense over and over again or re-read your writing if you are unaware of it. Its almost every chapter now where you almost verbatim say the same thing on 4 straight pages. Almost like you you were writing and got distracted and lost where you were so just kept going. In just this one chapter you emphasized that the mage towers are empty and their silence yata yata and the orcs being ready yata yata like 3 or 4 times with 2 paragraphs of each other. Its not a school essay where you gotta inflate everything you say to reach the 1500 word count my dude. I would rather wait the month it was taking you to write something coherent then get 10 chapters a week of nonsense. It's just tiring to read and really takes away from the great story you've come up with already.

Bpaat39
Bpaat39
2 months ago
Commented

holy hell dude we get it they are unmanned and have been the past 4 times youve said on the past 4 pages

The four magic towers, which had once should have been a formidable defense, now stood silent and unmanned.

Rise of the Horde

Rise of the Horde

War · Draejon

Bpaat39
Bpaat39
2 months ago
Commented

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule

Bpaat39
Bpaat39
2 months ago
Commented

tell me why the past 4 pages are almost word for word the same thing being said over and over

She would rather see the city fall to ruins than risk their exposure to the celestial messenger. The weight of her responsibility bore down upon her as the demonic forces raged unchecked, wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting city.

Rise of the Horde

Rise of the Horde

War · Draejon

Bpaat39
Bpaat39
2 months ago
Commented

BEEN HERE SO LONG I FORGOT THERE WAS A SYSTEM IN THIS NOVEL

The system's reactivation added a new layer of security to him, and he wondered if there was some connection between the two occurrences. The chieftain's curiosity about the totems and their connection to the mysterious power remained unabated, and he was determined to uncover the truth. Little did he know that this silent system reactivation would soon provide him with the answers.

Rise of the Horde

Rise of the Horde

War · Draejon