CaptaoCav

I just thought of something else, heck, even waiting for the guys to take the shcimmer could have worked. I mean, the MC almost died and Benzo is dead, Vander is fucked and his best friends are in extreme danger, it could be that the MC was enraged, absolutely furious at what Silco did and the way he won their last fight. So, maybe the MC lets them use schimmer because he's not thinking straight and wants to crush Silco at his best, to show that, even with all the cards Silco can't defeat him again now that he's ready... maybe even to show to himself that he can do it. I mean, with an upgrade in plasmids and without the gas messing up his mind he could be confident in defeating everyone... (I don't think it would particularly fit with the MC's personality, but it could be a reason and he could be too angry to care) In short, I feel that there's a lot of ways of writing pretty much the same scene, with the same results, but not make the MC seem too stupid. The difference between MC letting them use schimmer because he wants to crush SIlco at his best and the MC just sitting there and not reacting as they use schimmer may seem small, but it's actually really big. Certainly, both are stupid things to do, but the difference is that, in the first, the MC is temporarily ACTING stupid because he's too angry and not thinking straight, in the second the MC is just BEING stupid to an infuriating degree.

The problem for me isn't that he made a mistake, it's that he made basically the same mistake after having just been ambushed and almost killed. I mean, the author can certainly keep things the way they are, I enjoy the story enough (despite some chapters that I really disliked), but that particular scene could use some improvement, it felt really stupid. Someone suggested that maybe the MC was tired from rushing over and that's certainly a valid reason, but maybe the Author can make that more obvious... still, I feel that trying to rregain his breath while 5 guys use schimmer was still a REALLY stupid thing to do.

Alright, since you seem open for some feedback... I don't really know what you plan to do with the story, it seems like you want things to progress somewhat like cannon but, if you want Silco to survive, you have to deal with the MC. If the MC arrives too late he'll be intact to deal with Silco and I honestly feel he'd be far too stupid if he doesn't do it... and he's far too powerful to be unable to do it. If he arrives too late, I honestly can't see a resolution where Silco doesn't end up dead and Vi and Jinx alive with the MC, that doesn't mean there isn't one, just that writing it without making things seem too forced will be HARD. The problem with the last chapter isn't what happen, it's that SIlco had just ambushed and nearly killed the MC not even a day ago, it feels like the MC comited the same mistake over and over again: (He didn't kill Silco when they first meet, giving him the initiative to ambush the MC later, something he even comments on, then proceeds to let Silco have the initiative again not even a day later) Honestly? If you plan on changing things where Silce dies, I suggest the MC arriving too late, that way you can still have a fight, Powder will still have fucked thing up, and Vi will still be angry with her. Then maybe you can have Silco take Jinx while his men use shimmer and the MC desperatly tries to come up with a way of saving her. On the other hand, if you want the MC to be caught up in the blast and temporarily disabled, maybe have him hit the guy that already used schimmer but Not KO him. In this way, there's a very dangerous being right in front of the MC keeping him too busy to concentrate and use telekinesis to deal with the rest of Silco's men, the MC can use his plasmids to try and deal with the schimmer guy while protecting Vi and using his gun to shoot at Silco. Since he's distracted by the schimmer guy, maybe the MC can't aim perfectly and hits Silco in a non-fatal place and the others take the chance to take cover and use schimmer themselves, or maybe he even kills some of the goons but the others duck down under cover. This way, it doesn't seem like he's just waiting for them to power up but he's too busy dealing with a super strong enemy to concentrate. Also, since Deckart was holding VI up, maybe you can also have him turn vi towards the MC and hold her hostage, then have the MC use telekinesis to maybe keep him from crushing Vi by holding the guy in place and that takes a lot of concentration, then he shoots at SIlco but can't kill all of his goons before they're under cover... i mean, there's a lot of ways to deal with things, just don't make it seems like he's just sitting there posing and waiting for the enemy to power up... It could have worked if he was simply buying time for something else like there were reinforcements coming or he was trying to bring down the roof on their heads, but the way I read things it just seemed like a supremely stupid thing to do, expecially so soon after he almost died.

i know you wanted a big battle scene but, honestly, the fact that he just stood there waiting for them to take shimmer was really disappointing. I mean, there's other ways of creating a huge battle than a stand off where the MC just allows his enemies to power up, he had a goddamn gun man, and a few ranged plasmids, he should have shot them the moment they tried to take shimmer,.

Ugh, ended up being 3 days, sorry about that

Finishing it soon, give me a day or two.