Kapitel 3: Chapter 3- feel hopeless

Thinking about this, she felt like crying again. When they got married, everyone thought she was after his wealth and power, but in reality, she had only ever wanted him—the person, his heart.

She never cared about anything else.

Now, leaving him, she didn't care for anything.

She knew that by suddenly filing for divorce, everyone would think she was too impulsive, too rash.

But only she knew that after making the decision, even though it hurt, there was a strange sense of relief, as if she had been freed.

If a marriage only brings frustration and lifelessness to both people, then what's the point of maintaining it?

For the sake of the child?

Her heart ached.

If it weren't for their daughter, she would have ended the marriage a year ago when she overheard him angrily tell his father that he would never love her.

Laurent eventually drove to an older neighborhood where her good friend Adeline lived.

After wandering around aimlessly for a while, when the car stopped outside Adeline's building, her mind felt clear.

She knew very well that her marriage to Dave should have ended a year ago when she accidentally overheard him say that he would never love her.

This marriage had been sustained by the passion and enthusiasm she had somehow kept alive, but his words had drenched her to the core, extinguishing whatever passion she had left. Without her efforts, the marriage couldn't last.

His silent tolerance of Clark this afternoon had been the spark that set off all the pent-up grievances inside her, and it quickly spiraled out of control.

Her desire to divorce and end this miserable life had never been stronger.

And that led to the scenes at the banquet tonight.

She didn't regret her decision to get a divorce, and she never regretted anything she had done, including blindly trusting someone and loving someone with all her heart.

So, now, with this pain that felt like a thousand arrows piercing her heart, she chose to grit her teeth and fully accept it.

She had made the choice herself—ignoring the fact that he didn't love her and marrying him anyway. Of course, now she had to bear the consequences.

When Adeline opened the door and saw her looking so haggard and disheveled, she was taken aback and quickly pulled her inside, anxiously asking,

"What happened to you?"

Adeline was a year older than her. They had been high school classmates, but after the college entrance exams, Adeline chose not to continue her education due to family reasons and instead went to work, while Laurent went to university, and they lost touch for a while.

A few years ago, they coincidentally met again on the streets of the county town and rekindled their old friendship.

Laurent sat down in Adeline's small living room and drank the warm water that Adeline handed her. Afterward, she answered Adeline calmly,

"I'm getting a divorce too."

The reason she said "I'm getting a divorce too" was because Adeline had gotten divorced a year ago.

Adeline's reason for divorce was because her ex-husband had cheated. However, it wasn't because he was wealthy and had a young, beautiful woman on the side. On the contrary, Adeline's ex-husband was poor and tired of living a modest life, so he had an affair with a wealthy woman.

The woman was married herself and worked in a profession that used her body to make money.

To put it bluntly, the woman earned a lot of money by sleeping with other men and then used that money to support Adeline's ex-husband.

Adeline was stunned when Laurent said she was getting a divorce. After the shock, her face softened with sympathy,

"Are you... really able to let go?"

After they reunited, Laurent told Adeline everything about her troubled marriage with Dave —the initial joy, the eventual pain—everything was shared with Adeline. So Adeline knew the entire journey of Laurent's heart.

For Laurent, if Dave was the one she loved with all her heart, Adeline was the one she blindly chose to trust.

In response to Adeline's question, Laurent wearily leaned back against the couch and gently closed her eyes.

What difference does it make whether I let go or not? What difference does it make whether I can or cannot let go?

Adeline glanced at Laurent's expression, thought for a moment, and then spoke softly in an attempt to persuade her,

"You and I are in different situations."

"My relationship with Grant was one of mutual love and passion from the start, but over the years, it turned into mutual dislike. All the love between us had been drained over the years."

Grant was Adeline's ex-husband. A year after their divorce, Adeline could now speak of her failed marriage calmly—no anger, no regret, no lingering attachment, and no insults—like someone observing from the outside.

"And you and Dave are different. You didn't start with love, but over the years, you developed a deeper bond. So, I think you should reconsider carefully."

Adeline continued to persuade her, but Laurent suddenly opened her eyes. The clear and beautiful eyes were now filled with a bitter, self-mocking smile.

"Adeline, no woman ever wants to come to this point of divorce."

"But I'm really tired."

As she spoke of these matters, Laurent's originally beautiful eyes grew darker,

"You say our relationship has become more harmonious?"

"But hasn't it only become harmonious, nothing more?"

"He doesn't love me, and that's a fact I can't erase. That's the fatal flaw in our marriage."

Laurent looked at Adeline, speaking slowly and deliberately,

"This makes me feel hopeless."

"It's like a game we're playing—if we keep getting stuck at one level, no matter how passionate and obsessed we were with the game before, all that enthusiasm and passion will eventually fade, worn out by being unable to move forward, until we lose all interest and never want to touch it again."

Laurent smiled faintly as she said this, a smile that revealed a deep sense of loneliness and desolation,

"My feelings for Dave are exactly like this."

In the five years of marriage with Dave , she had been so passionate at first, going to great lengths to please him, to accommodate him, and naively believing she could win his heart.

She had once been joyful and bright, lively and full of laughter.

But after accidentally hearing his frustrated words, she slowly became melancholic, spending each day with a man who would never love her, trapped in a hopeless marriage. How could she be as joyful and bright as she had been before?

She gradually became quiet, more reserved, and less hopeful. Over time, she lost her vitality and became a sorrowful woman.

This, she realized, was the change that five years of this relationship had brought her.

Loving someone too much, trying to cater to them in the name of love, ultimately turned her into a completely different person.

Sometimes, she would ask herself, is this what she really wanted?

Before Adeline could say anything else, Laurent's phone in her bag rang.

Laurent took the phone out, glanced at the caller ID, and immediately hung up.

It was a call from Dave , and she didn't want to answer.

However, he was relentless, and she eventually answered the call.

As she expected, his voice on the other end was exceptionally cold, with a hint of suppressed anger.

"Where are you?"

She didn't answer his question. Instead, she asked softly,

"Is there something you need?"

"Emma woke up. She's crying and asking for you!"

She could feel his anger rising even more, almost as if he were grinding his teeth. Laurent thought that if she were standing in front of him at that moment, he would likely devour her alive.

His words were followed by the sharp cry of their daughter coming through the phone, and her heart instantly ached terribly.

Emma was their daughter, just over three years old. Recently, she had started attending kindergarten. She was an energetic, cute, and intelligent girl, much like... the old her.

"Mommy--"

"Where are you? Come back and stay with Emma--wuwu--"

Her daughter cried out for her on the other end of the phone, and she felt her heart tremble with pain. Since Emma had been born, she rarely left her side. Before Emma started kindergarten, she had stayed at home, taking care of the child, accompanying her, quietly managing the household and nurturing her daughter.

Dave had hired a nanny once, but she didn't want anyone else taking care of her child, so she had dismissed the nanny and took on the responsibility of caring for Emma's needs herself.

So at this moment, the thought of having to leave her daughter tonight made her heart ache terribly. Tears uncontrollably streamed down her face.

However, this time, she was resolute and firm in her decision to end the marriage. She comforted herself, telling herself that once the divorce was finalized in a few days, she would never have to be separated from her daughter again.

She would take her daughter and leave this place, flying away far and wide, leaving him with Clark to live their lives together.

So, facing her daughter's cries, she controlled her emotions through her tears and softly comforted her,

"Emma, be good. Auntie Adeline is sick, and Mommy has to take care of her. I won't be coming back tonight. You'll sleep with Daddy."

Adeline, like her, had a daughter two years older than Emma. When Adeline and her ex-husband divorced, she gained custody of their daughter. Now, Adeline had to work, so her daughter was sent to stay with Adeline's parents to be looked after.

Laurent often took Emma to visit Adeline's daughter, and the two little girls got along very well, so Emma was familiar with Adeline and had a good bond with her.

Laurent had no other choice. To soothe her crying daughter, she had to say this.

She thought her sensible daughter would understand and be considerate when she heard that Auntie Adeline was sick, but to her surprise, Emma cried even harder.

"I don't want to! I don't want to--"

"I don't want to sleep with Daddy. Daddy is scary--"

When her daughter cried out like that, Laurent instantly understood why Emma was suddenly crying so fiercely.

As a father, Dave Washington had never spent time alone with his daughter like this. He had never stayed with her at night or shared any tender moments with her.

Emma felt distant from him, and on top of that, his expression and mood at that moment must have been unpleasant, which was why Emma was rejecting him so much.

"Mommy, come back and save me--"

It was her daughter's voice crying out on the other end.

Her daughter even used the word "save me," showing just how terrifying Dave Washington was in her daughter's eyes.

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