Kapitel 36: I hate you
"JOS!" I shout while trying to get out of his hold. Please, anyone, I just need one person on my side, just one.
"Allie?" Jos goes out of the kitchen and looks at us with a confused expression "What's going on? What are you doing to her!?" she asks the last question in an angry tone and starts walking towards us.
Theo looks at her sadly "Nick's orders, he's going to mark her" he says still avoiding eye contact with me. I hear Jos, Lucas, Katherine, and her husband gasp and look at me with sadness and guilt.
Mark me? What is that? Why does it feel he shouldn't do it? "I don't want to be marked. I don't want this! Let me go!" I say squirming trying to get out of his hold.
The door opens. Nick and Dylan walk toward us. "Nick" I say in between gasps. "No, I don't want this, you've been ignoring my wishes since I got here, just this once do what I want" I try to reach him but just as I imagined he ignored my feelings again.
He keeps walking, getting close with each step. Theo let go of me and I make a run for it, running towards the door. It didn't work. Nick catches me and hugs me.
I look towards Jos, pleading with my eyes but she averts her gaze from mine. I smile. "fu fu fu fu fu" I start laughing. I don't know why I'm laughing; I don't even find this situation funny, but I can't stop.
Nick hugs me closer and he starts walking towards a door I'm guessing is of an empty room. "I hate you" I say with a wicked venomous voice "I hate all of you".
Nick closes the door behind us and lays me in bed. He's on top of me and I can't stop trembling. "Don't be afraid" he says while smiling tenderly "I'm not going to hurt you, this is to help you, to keep you safe" he says while kissing my forehead.
"Nick… please… stop" I say in a weak voice. I don't like to act scared but it's necessary to let him know what he's doing.
"shuuuush" he says soothingly "It's going to be ok. We're going to be ok" he keeps saying. I try to fight but I already abused my body too much, and with Nick's body on top of mine is just impossible.
He puts his face in the crook of my neck and I feel his lips kissing my neck. I shiver in disgust. I feel his teeth almost ripping my skin and I see no other way out. A sharp pain comes and rapidly spreads through my body. Nick immediately moves away from me with a horrified expression.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" he shouts and puts a finger inside my mouth, trying to force it open but I put more force in my jaw, biting my tongue harder while I glare at him with an emotionless face.
"ALICE OPEN YOUR MOUTH!" he keeps shouting but I ignore him.
Marking, I now understand what it means, it will tie me to him, make me feel pain if we're apart, like venom spreading through my body, making me need him, making me feel things I don't want to feel, making me dependent on him… make me obey him.
Bullshit! he can think he can force me to live like that all he wants but he doesn't control me, the ultimate choice is on me, and I rather die. I keep putting force on my jaw, but Nick's fingers don't let me completely close it, my tongue's bleeding, filling my mouth with blood. Not like that is a huge issue, I've been bleeding a lot lately.
"DYLAN!" the door bursts open, and Dylan gets inside with a worried face. He looks at Nick then at me and he pales. "SNAP OUT OF IT!" Nick shouts and Dylan focus on him "Bring the pack doctor right now!" he instructs. Dylan immediately runs out of the room.
I think he's running to get this doctor person, but I don't really care. Right now, I have to make sure I bite all the way through my tongue.
"DAMMIT ALICE! LET GO!" Nick keeps shouting. Blood keeps fillings my mouth, in this position I might not even need to rip my tongue out, I just have to wait until I drown with blood. Not an elegant way to go but not bad either.
Nick immediately sits me up, well shit, it seems he noticed the same thing as me. My jaw hurts from trying so hard and I give in. I open my mouth and rub my jaw. It's a miracle I didn't dislocate it.
"What the hell were you thinking!?" Nick is not shouting as loud as before but his voice still sounds desperate.
I don't answer, for two reasons, the first one being he still has his thumb in my mouth and the second one being the injury in my tongue.
The doctor arrives way faster than I expected, I suppose Dylan hurried him. I look at him curiously, the second time I've seen him. I wave my hand casually, greeting him and they all look at me with wide eyes.
I see the doctor gulping; I notice the thick drops of sweat on his forehead. "Heal her" Nick says threateningly. The doctor walks closer to me and opens a bag with medicine. I wonder what's he planning on doing. Once the doctor is close enough Nick pulls his thumb out of my mouth.
"I-I need space, Alpha" the doctor instructs. Nick groans but follows his instructions. The doctor reaches me, and I smile faintly. It's finally time.
I push the doctor away from me and he falls on his ass. I jump from the bed and run towards the balcony. I open the windows and climb up the railing, standing on my tip toes.
"Alice, don't you fucking dare!" Nick says with clenched teeth, more than threatening he sounds afraid.
"Don't try it again" I say with an emotionless voice "If you do, I will do this again and the day you succeed will be the last day you see me alive".
"Enough with this nonsense! We're meant to be Alice!" Nick shouts but my only answer is leaning back a little, almost falling. I hear him gasp.
He opens his eyes wide, finally realizing I'm not joking or bluffing "No… No… I'm sorry… please…" he takes a couple of steps forward.
I raise one of my legs, standing only on one foot. "Another step" I say calmly.
'Another step and I'll let go' I didn't finish what I was saying but I know he understood the message.
He immediately stops walking. "I'm not going to do it again" he says desperately "I promise I'm not going to try this again, not if you don't want me to".
I tilt my head and frown. "I knew you were stupid, but you surprise me with your stupidity every day. What makes you think I believe you?" I don't think he realizes that now, everyone here is my enemies… no, not enemies but definitely not friends. They're all just people I don't want to be involved with.
"I swear" he tries again "I, Nicholas Roland Woods, Alpha of the Blue Lake Pack swear I will not try to mark you again as long as you don't want me to" he says firmly, and I see something resembling silver dust circling him for just a moment. I don't think the others can see that.
It seems that promise holds weight in ways I can't understand. "Why the hell did you even try?" I ask annoyed, I'm trying to understand his train of thoughts, but It's just so stupid. "Does your pride hurt so much when I don't listen to you that you'd rather hurt me?" he flinches at my question.
I normally don't like to pry on others' hearts, their thoughts are their own but why should I show any respect towards him?
"So that was it, huh? You hate not being in control, you hate seeing me living without you when you can't even think of anything else but me" I keep talking. My voice sounds calm but venomous.
"Was it the day we met?" I ask and he looks at me confused. "the nightmares" I explain, and I see his pupils shake. "I'm sure they were painful. Was it of you failing? Of everyone dying and you surviving like the pathetic man you are?" I keep going and his face frowns.
"It must have been awful, you failed them. They died because of you. You couldn't save anyone. You're pathetic orders, your stupid plans. You send them to die" I know Blacky's style of torture, I know it all too well, that's why I know what he must have seen, what he must have felt.
"How…?" he doesn't finish his question, but I know. He shakes his head trying to fight the memories "It was just a dream. It was not real" he clenches his fists, his knuckles turning white.
"Don't worry, Nick" I say sweetly this time, I smile warmly at him.
"I'll make it reality" I say while jumping down.
Nick runs at me trying to catch me, but he misses, his fingertips barely grazing my arm.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein