Kapitel 548: Existential Entertainment...
"No."
"Same old pieces of shit, huh?" he sighs.
"They were late to your funereal..." Lillith quietly and angrily mutters.
Michael mirthfully shrugs, "Can't fault them if they're busy. Maybe I should die again so they get a chance to attend this time?"
"Your parents sound worse than mine somehow." Saya remarks.
"Your parents actually love you, Saya. Mine? Feels like we're just a business expense or something." he says and Lillith nods in agreement.
"Big bro, h-how are you even here?" she finally asks, prompting everyone to look at one another.
"Well..."
Michael proceeds to give Lillith the basic layout of what'd happened, his transportation to another world, meeting with Tiffania, travelling to Tamriel, etc.
It was a long and frankly difficult discussion to have... He left out a lot of the truly horrific things, even going so far as to not mention him resurrecting Tiffania with her mother's ring. He wasn't sure what his sister's reaction would be if he spoke of the torture he'd gone through at the hand of Sheffield and the other Nobles.
In the end, Lillith was excitedly hopping in her seat, "S-so you're really an elf!?"
Tiffania nods, "Half-elf actually." she confirms while wiggling her ears, much to Lillith's amusement.
"And you're a wizard?" she next asks Megumin.
"Arch-Wizard! The strongest of the magic classes!" Megumin proudly announces.
The teen then turns to Saya who holds her hand up, "I'm just a regular mage, nothing that special if you ignore the magic." she shrugs.
...
Finally, she looks to Michael with a smile, "You actually have friends, big bro! Even if they're all girls..."
Michael coughs, "I have guy friends too... Like, er..." he scratches his head, Savos was out, Surtr was more of an acquaintance along with the rest of the Companions, Bynjolf was more of a business partner than anything else... Ah! "I'm friends with a guy named Irarus!"
...
"The fact that it took you so long to think of one shows a lot..." Saya remarks, "You're like a harem protagonist from an Anime..." she jabs a finger at him, "You'll have a harem once Saeko joins you and Tiffania..."
"No, two doesn't make a harem... And we're not even in agreement on it yet." Michael adds the last part as a second thought, causing the others to smirk.
"You're right, two doesn't make a harem... Hey Megumin, I've seen you looking at him, how about you jump on the bandwagon?" Saya says while nudging the girl with her elbow.
"W-w-w-what!? No! Why would you think that!" the explosion girl stutters out and blushes at how suspect her reaction is.
"Hehehehe, very convincing shorty." Saya smirks.
A couple more minutes of talking later and Michael offers to cook something for Lillith, who'd basically been surviving on pot noodles, takeaways, and prepared meals even since he 'died'. While he was a 'cook' he could make something edible, which the girl readily agreed to, quickly pulling the girls away to show them the wonders of the internet. Well, show Tiff and Megu, Saya was already well aware of it.
Michael looks through the kitchen and is disappointed to find very little stocked. A cabinet filled to the brim with pot noodles, a freezer filled with frozen pizza, and a fridge mostly empty apart from some old bottles of ketchup, mayonnaise, and some things to make sandwiches with...
How Lillith could live off this stuff and still look relatively healthy was a mystery... Maybe the school cafeteria food supplemented her diet some?
Shaking his head, he pulls the ingredients out of his inventory and gets to work cooking a meat and potato stew...
Halfway through cooking it he was interrupted by the girls who all stood in the doorway with various expressions on their faces...
"Michael... What do you know about 'The Elder Scrolls : Skyrim'?" Saya asks with squinted eyes and folded arms.
"Ah... So you found that then." he trails off, "What did you see?"
"Oh, I don't know, the fact that the world we live in is some game, shorty is from some comedy anime, and me and Tiffania are from some harem animes... You know I was joking about that earlier right!?"
"You knew about this and didn't tell us?" Tiffania asks as he fumbles to find something to say.
"Well, look at it like this... Would you rather know that your world, life, and everything you know is a piece of fiction to millions of other people? I didn't mention it first, because it didn't really matter. And second, because it was better left unsaid, for all of our peace of mind." he explains before shrugging, "Besides, from what I know, you're all better off than your fictional counterparts..."
Tiffania tilts her head, "How do you mean?"
Michael gestures at her, "It's vague but you'd be one of the protagonist's love interests, living in a human country that hated you for your race... I think? I haven't watched the show in years so it's a bit fuzzy, to be honest."
"What about me?" Megumin asks, "What would've happened if I wasn't summoned?"
"You'd have bene in Yunyun's place, in the same party as Kazuma, Aqua, and Darkness... Actually, the party is better off without you, mostly because in that reality you could only cast a single explosion before passing out..."
"Oooh..." she mutters, realising how useless she must've been, especially since most adventurer contracts required the purging of many smaller targets, as opposed to one large one.
"And me?" Saya asks.
Michael shrugs, "I didn't actually watch your show to be honest... But it isn't hard to predict how things would've gone... What do you think would have happened if I wasn't there to kill most of the zombies, deal with most threats, and you remained with Cukashi?"
...
"You're right... I'm definitely better off away from there." she states with a slight shiver.
He grins, "Well, if you guys are curious, we could make a movie night out of it and watch how your futures could've been..."
Megumin's eyes light up, "That sounds great! I wanna watch me blow stuff up!"
Michael mirthfully shakes his head, "I don't think you understand just how useless you were in that party... Whatever, Lillith, load up Konosuba."
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
Niggross
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