Kapitel 40: 39

This chapter is dedicated @Tiffany_McConkey and Als_darkangel.

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Linda's POV

Truly I and Esperanza find Constanza sitting in the sitting room and staring out the window with no expression on her face. I wonder if she's sitting there remembering my late Father.

" ma'am " Esperanza calls out to her.

Esperanza's voice shocks her out of her lost state and she looks back to us with a smile. " oh Isabella and Esperanza I believe. Is everything okay? " she asks looking concerned.

" everything is fine. I just...I guess...can I speak to you? " I ask her instead.

She seems a bit surprised but smiles at me encouragingly. " uhm yes of course. Please sit down. "

Esperanza squeezes my hand and leaves the room, leaving my grandmother and I alone.

I look at her wondering how to go about this. I decide to go with the first thing that comes to mind.

" how did it feel? " I ask her staring into her eyes hoping to see the truth because my dad always says the eyes are the window to the soul and right now I hope he's right.

" what? " she asks looking confused.

" how did it feel to lose him? " I ask quietly knowing quite well that I'm poking at an old wound, one that would probably be best left buried deep in the past.

When realization comes into her eyes, they become teary but no tear drops down her face. She chuckles but the sound of it echoes in pain and sadness from a place within.

A feeling I understand quite well.

Even though her action said it all, she still tells me just how it felt to lose her son.

" numb at first. There was this shock and unbelief. All I could think was that it had to be a lie. It couldn't be true. I couldn't have lost him so easily. He promised he would be careful... "

Each word she utters continue to break my heart in a way I can't describe. It is like an echoes of everything I have ever felt

" But when reality sank in it was hard, depressing, devastating and so many other things I can never put into words. Don Alonso never gave me a chance to mourn my son. I could only shed tears for him late at night when it was only me. If only I didn't owe him my life and that of my boys. "

What does she mean by that?

When she sees the question on my face she smiles at me sadly and tries to wipe the tears hanging on her lashes away. " that will be another story for another day. "

She places her hand on mine and then says to me. " I still remember that day, the day I lost you and your mom. We had just received news that your dad had been killed by the Lucino family. She was heartbroken when she left with you. She blamed Nikon for everything. I guess she didn't want to lose you too. In a way she was right. She might have lost you to the darkness that comes with being in the mafia. Lucas Gail did a good job in raising you, better than I could have ever done. Living in this world. Nikon basically overpowers you and you have no control over anything. " she gets starry-eyed almost as if lost in past memories which only she can see.

" but I still regret losing all of you. " and the tears which she'd fought so hard to keep at bay are let lose.

Her silent hiccups bring tears to my eyes and I find myself pulling her into a hug.

" I should have fought harder to keep my sons away from the life that Don Alonso lived. Then maybe your parents would have had a chance to live longer and happier. I'm so sorry Isabella. " she says burying her face deeper into my neck. " I let my gratitude towards Alonso cost me the life of your father and mother. I lost the chance to watch you grow. "

We sit together sobbing and shedding tears of pain for all that we'd lost also taking comfort in each other. One thing that we should have been doing right from time.

" I'm sorry I've hurt you all this while. I'm really sorry I pushed you when you tried to protect me from Nikon. " I tell her regretfully.

She wipes the tears away from my face and smiles at me. " it's okay. It's not completely your fault. I understand what it feels like to be angry at the world. But you have to heal now Isabella. Become a better person, strong. "

I nod at her and we sit there taking in the silence.

The first thing I feel is her gaze on me, then she asks me a question. " have you been to see that boy? "

I turn to look at her curious as to what she was getting to. " which one " I ask her feigning ignorance.

She smiles coyly at me and then says. " since you want it that way, fine. Have you gone to see the boys? The last time I checked they were in a pretty bad shape. But it's okay if you're still mad at them. " she says trying to sound unconcerned. Then she stands up holding her waist. " I should go get my rest. An old lady like me needs her afternoon nap. "

She doesn't give me a chance to reply to her earlier statement about the boys so I'm left with no choice than to go see the boys now.

I still remember the route to the infirmary. Anytime my dad got hurt, my mom would take us to go see him and I hated every moment, scared that something terrible had happened to him which would make me lose him. But when he died there were no infirmary's to visit and that which I had dreaded was what I then craved for because it meant I would be able to see him again.

I soon find myself standing at the door once again lost in memories. The sound of quiet laughter brings me out of my daze and I open the door to see Luke staring up at the ceiling, a slight smile on his lips and sad eyes. It reminds me of the times he'd go quiet when we were together and I guess I kind of miss him.

I notice the guaze wrapped around his abdomen probably as a result of all those hits he took.

I feel bad all of a sudden but I push that feeling away and take my eyes away from him. No one is yet to notice my arrival too deep into their discussion. Leah sits by Dave who stares at her like she's his entire world and Esperanza sits between Jack and Russ.

Russ pouts when Esperanza knocks him on the head for saying something to Jack. While Jack laughs at his expression.

I can't seem to hear anything around me. I feel like running away from here, to escape from the possibility of getting hurt again. But before I can make a move to leave, Leah calls out my name. I look at her and the encouragement in her eyes is all I need to do what is needed.

I look back at the boys to see them looking at me with a somber expression.

' geez it feels like someone died. '

I roll my eyes and force myself to smile. " you know I haven't even given you a list to get back into my good graces and here you are all sad looking. "

I see the boys' face light up in happiness and Luke loses that sad look in his eyes.

Now they seem happy.

I have to say I've really missed them.

" I'm sorry I've been such a bitch. " I tell them sincerely. " I'm really sorry you got hurt too. "

They all tell me it's okay and it's not my fault in chorus answers.

It still feels weird and awkward talking to them after being mad at them for so long but Esperanza is right. Everything is going to be just fine.

We sit down for hours catching up on our lives and the moments we'd missed. It's nice to have them back. They are my little family.

***

Unknown POV

" boss we found some of the crates we were yet to move unopened including the drugs. " he says to me with fear in his voice.

That little brat has been snooping again just like she was all those years back.

" did you see who did it? " I ask the man who was supposed to oversee the movement of the the drugs in utmost secrecy.

" it was miss Isabella. " he replies his voice still shaking in fear.

I nod my head in response, still keeping my back to him.

He's lucky I'm hearing of this now. If it were any other place I'd have made him pay with his life.

Such incompetent fools I have working for me.

" watch her. I don't want her finding out more about my business. I can't trust her and that father of hers. Anymore interference from her and I will have you and everyone else in your family killed. Do you understand me? " I ask quietly.

" y...yes " he replies trembling.

" good " I tell him switching positions from the window I had been staring out of and going back to my desk. Wondering where that fool Manuel could have hidden those files.

Erico still stands staring at me as if waiting for an order.

Why do they never understand when they are no longer needed?

" are you standing there to entertain yourself or me? Get busy. "

He immediately exits the room, leaving me to my thoughts.

Author's note

Thanks for reading. I'm really sorry the updates are slower. My battery is not all that good and my network is terrible. So I write when I can and update when I can.

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