Kapitel 38: 37

I'm really sorry I haven't updated for a couple of days now. My battery died and I couldn't charge it. My country needs help in the power sector or they're simply selfish with power supply. I hope you can forgive me, continue reading and show your your support. Enjoy this, hopefully!

This chapter is dedicated to Als_darkangel

Linda's POV

" Are you going to see him? " Esperanza asks as I sit at the window staring out at the guards patrolling the estate.

The sun would be setting soon and all that I have done all day is to sit in this room bored and also mad that my freedom has been taken away from me. Apparently Nikon wasn't joking when he said I was not allowed to step out of this house. Let's say I tried and ended up being held down by two of the guards. Those guys are really strong. Staring at them all day has been annoying if only I could find a way to defy Nikon and still not put those idiots in trouble.

' Right...have you ever heard of the word impossible? '

Ugh! Annoying me not now.

' okay. Jeez I was only trying to lighten up the mood. Just so you know. You are keeping Esperanza waiting. '

I know as you can see I am ignoring her on purpose. and what you said wasn't even funny. It wasn't even a joke.

' Whatever smarty pants. '

" Linda if you don't mind now is not the time to carry on a conversation with yourself. " Esperanza says sounding exasperated.

I roll my eyes at her and let her blab on.

She sets her jaw and says to me " stop being so heartless. "

And her words hurt more than they should have.

I mean people do this all the time. They keep on disappointing me.

For the first time since she stepped into my room I open my mouth to speak to her. " I'm not being heartless. I just don't want to see him. All he's done since I met him was to hurt me. I trusted him and his friends and they all hurt me with their lives and deceit. Now you want me to forgive them so easily? "

" they were being childish. " Esperanza says looking into my eyes, trying to make me understand. " but despite their childishness they were mature enough to find their way here just to seek our forgiveness. I think you should go see them and hear what they have to say. Give them a chance. " she says quietly.

I scoff and run my hand through my hair. " you don't seem to be listening to me. I gave them a chance and they took it for granted. You of all people know should know how hard it was for me to start trusting people again. Especially since I was left behind at that park. If they hadn't come here I wouldn't be stuck in this goddamn place. "

Really?

Fine maybe it wasn't completely the boys fault but each and everyday that I've spent reflecting in this room I find the anger I feel towards the boys slowly and gradually melting away. And keeping this unreasonable reason that they are the reason I can't go out helps to keep the anger burning like a wall of flames protecting me from having stupid feelings that end up hurting me.

" first of all, you chose to come here on your own volition. Last time I checked no one forced you. Maybe you're not allowed out of the estate but that wasn't completely their fault. If only you'd chosen to act rationally instead of going head to head with Don Alonso then maybe you wouldn't be stuck here as you so rightly said. And just in case you've forgotten, he never said that you can't step out of the room or house in particular. He meant the estate. So stop looking for an excuse not to see the boys. If you weren't so stubborn you would see that you're hurting people who love you. The boys and your grandmother don't deserve the treatment you're giving them. "

" excuse me?! " she did not just say that to me. " I don't see how that is any of your business! " I screech at her.

" it might be none of my business but for God's sake Linda you pushed your own grandmother just because of blind rage and you were too blind to see that the boys were more concerned about you than the fact that they had been beaten up. Try cooling your head off you dumb bitch then maybe you'd be able to think more clearly. If Nana were to see you right now she'd be disappointed. " she says crossing her arms over her chest, staring at me with anger and then shock as she realizes what she's said.

Her words did more than shock me. They hurt me.

" Linda I'm... "

I don't let her complete her statement I cut her off instead. " you know what? You're right. I'm going to take your advice. I better go cool off before I say something stupid that might hurt someone else. "

She tries calling me back but I ignore her and head out the door and out of the house.

The guards immediately become alert but I ignore them walking straight ahead and then take a turn until I find what I had been looking for. The tree my parents and I played on. I remember my dad climbing this tree with me on his back. He'd swing me on his arms and call me his little monkey while my mom would yell at him to be careful with me. Why did they have to die? Why did Nana have to die? I drop to my knees and curl into myself as I'm assaulted with so many memories of them all, all the moments I'd spent with them. If I had the chance once again I'd draw it out longer. Tears pour out of my eyes and the sobs I held in turn into heart wrenching sobs as each memory comes to mind. I pull out the necklace I always keep hidden away from prying eyes. It has a blue pendant with a green dragon the very last thing I have of my father. He gave it to me before he left to his death.

***

After spending much time lost in memories, I find the will to get up and the needle-like numbness in my legs almost brings me back to my knees but I fight it off enduring the pain and slowly drag my legs to take each step until I can walk normally.

I consider going into the house only to face Esperanza but I still can't bring myself to face her. I feel ashamed because of how I've been acting all this while. So I take a detour around the estate.

I consider going to the horse shed where horses are kept. Riding lessons would help to keep my mind away from everything going on around me.

When will my father come here?

I sigh and take my eyes off the grasses beneath my feet. I look around me not really paying attention to anything in particular when a hear strange sound coming from one of the warehouses. I consider taking a look but I change my mind and continue to move on but then I hear the sound of things crashing and I suddenly can't keep my curiosity at bay anymore.

I head straight for the warehouse and try to sneak in quietly. Lucky enough for me the door is open as they seem to be moving things. This place seems familiar. Why?...

I move quietly doing my best not to draw attention to myself. I quickly hide behind a big crate when I spot one of the men head towards where I'm glimpsing from. There are a bunch of other crates hiding me as well so I'm sort of well hidden. He starts heading towards my new spot and a wave of panic comes over me. I try to calm myself down so I won't get caught because of my foolishness and pray to God to help me out. He immediately answers my prayers because before the man can get to where I'm hidden he catches sight of the heated argument which has been going on for the past few minutes.

I see two crates tumbled together. Their kids are not off so I can't see what is inside of them. The crates are similar to the ones in front of me. I decide to take a peek and carefully open one of the lids. I see guns of different sorts inside and the reason this place seemed so familiar in the first place comes to mind. I had followed my dad here and when he caught me he reprimanded me to never come back here. Back then the sight of the guns scared me so much in addition to my dad yelling at me I almost passed out. I keep on checking them to see more guns. I open the last one but instead of guns I see white powder packaged in little packs. Does Nikon also deal in drugs but still yet why keep them among the guns. Shouldn't there be a separate place for this?

It's time for me to go.

I try sneaking out the same way I had come in.

For some reason I pay attention to the men whose argument seem to be dying down. " if the goods had gotten damaged the boss would have had our heads. " One of them say.

" well they weren't but the boss will definitely have our heads of they are not delivered on time. " another replies

I tune them out and finally escape in peace. This time I don't bother to go to the horse shed instead I head back to the house a bit bothered by the drugs I had seen.

Author's note.

Once again forgive me. I hope you enjoyed reading this though. I will try to update again in a couple of hours.

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