Kapitel 77: Shopping
Zeus flew through the air soon found his target. He grinned and flew towards the island under him. Big Mom was thinking about the different ways to torture Zeus, when she suddenly slammed face first into the ground.
Zeus stood on her head and clicked his tongue "Looks like the fat old bitch kept her cool! I actually cannot believe it!" He jumped off and kicked her head, sending her flying into a wall, unconscious.
Zeus jumped on her breasts and looked around saying "Where the fuck is your heart you fat old bitch?" he looked down and muttered "Wives, I hope you can forgive me. I don't want to do this either.." before reaching out his hand and touching Big Mom's chest, looking for a heartbeat.
He almost threw up, her skin was rough and wrinkly. Not a pleasant touch at all. He finally found a heart beat after what felt like years to him. He stabbed a syringe in her heart and stole her devil fruit before flying off, the rest of their fruits were meh.
...
But since when did Zeus care?! He didn't and directly stole the rest, he cursed himself as he put all the fruits into his cloud. Tottoland was now devil fruit free! But Zeus also ran out of serums, honestly he was too greedy here. He should've just taken Big Mom's and left but he saw a dancing rock and changed his mind.
After leaving Tottoland, Zeus returned to Abyss Island.
The executives were shocked and said "So fast?" Zeus grumbled and said "I used up all the serum! Anyway, sell these for 400% market price!" he dropped all of Big Mom's children's devil fruits, startling the executives before they started laughing, thinking about the scene when they all woke up to nothing.
It's true, Tottoland died as soon as Zeus took Big Mom's fruit. All the Homies disappeared and her ship crumbled, she was basically a shell of an emperor, if that.
Zeus couldn't even give a single fuck about her though and even taunted her by selling the fruits on the black market for 4 times the price, knowing that she currently had nothing.
He suddenly realized, he might have just killed Rocks. He quickly called Shakky only to find out that Rocks died a while ago. Shakky buried his skull behind the bar. Zeus sighed and gave his condolences and Shakky thanked him, for her it was enough just to see him again.
Zeus had a nice conversation with Shakky and invited her to open up a bar on Abyss Island instead, tempting her with 'It's a lot nicer than Sabaody' and 'There's a casino for Rayleigh' Shakky laughed and said "I'll think about it" before hanging up.
Zeus sighed, he didn't think Shakky would move, but he made the offer expecting to get declined. He was happy with the conversation and knew that even if Rayleigh came over Shakky probably wouldn't so he had to work the 'Shakky angle'.
After the phone call
Zeus went down to the lab and requested for more serum. Caesar complained that he didn't have enough time but Zeus gave him a week to make as much as he could and promised him that Zeus would get him Vegapunk's research notes in the future.
Caesar almost fainted from joy and immediately gave Zeus 30 more serums. Zeus held the serums and looked at Caesar, who said "I had an epiphany! And made 30 in one shot!" before chuckling nervously.
Zeus shook his head and left saying "I hope so!" Caesar let out a breath of relief before getting back to work.
Zeus left right after, he had more targets after all!
Zeus flew towards a certain direction before drilling through the doors of the giant prison and walking down.
That's right! This mad man broke into Impel Down for the second time! It had been 2 years, brought back a lot of memories.
Zeus walked through the prison and drank from his gourd as he hummed, a cloud following him from behind. Guards tried to stop him but he simply slapped them away, Sadi tried to stop him again.
Zeus smiled and said "Wanna quit the marines yet?" Sadi cracked her whip and said "Nope~" Zeus sighed and said "What a pity! I need a good drill sergeant!" he flashed behind her and slapped her ass before throwing her into a room and locking it from the outside.
Zeus chuckled and moved on to the lower levels, humming happily.
He arrived in the 6th level and walked around, the prisoners glared at him. Most of them were directly related to him. Zeus passed by the cells and stole devil fruits from them all. Among them were King, Queen, Jack, Doflamingo's subordinates, and some randoms.
He did get a few treasures, however. One of them was the More-More fruit, which went directly into his collection, and the Clank-Clank fruit! What a surprise!
Zeus honestly felt like he was shopping right now. Impel down really had a good selection! Zeus thought he should come more often.
Zeus stopped in front of a cell and grinned "Pinky! We meet again!" Doflamingo chuckled and said "What do you want from me now?" Zeus ripped the cell door off and said "Nothing much! Just your devil fruit~ Alright, now hold still! Wouldn't want an accident would we?"
Zeus smashed Doflamingo's head against the cell wall and knocked him out before saying "Oops! Too rough, my bad~" before stealing his devil fruit. Zeus was a bit peeved to be honest. His favorite fruit wasn't the Goro-Goro, but the Ito-Ito! Coming in a close second was Kid's fruit but he would never get that one.
Zeus looked at the fruit and sighed "If only I had another Merge fruit!" before throwing the String fruit into his cloud and moving on to the biggest cell.
Zeus knocked on the giant Seastone door and said "Yoo hoo~ Is there a little black snake in there?" a loud and angry thud was heard and Zeus chuckled as he said "Ouu! A little angry are we? Don't worry champ! You'll be 100% Dragon when I'm finished with you."
Zeus unlocked the door and walked inside to see Kaido chained up with, honestly, a ton of chains. Zeus couldn't even count how many there were, Kaido looked like a metal dumpling! Zeus flashed up and said "Why don't you just escape? Oh right! You can't! Bwahahahahahaha"
Kaido spit out fire and snorted coldly.
Zeus sneered and said "Do you know why I'm here? First is to take your devil fruit, whatever the fuck it is. Then, I'm going to kill you and serve your meet to the rest of my island! Be glad, at least your corpse will be useful." Zeus shrugged and sighed "Who told you to target my wife? Looks like the last living dragon will end up dissolving in stomach acid."
Zeus immediately stabbed at where Kaido's heart 'should' be. He didn't know because Kaido was a giant Dragon so It was kinda hard to tell. Surprisingly Zeus hit the sweet spot and a fruit appeared, he grabbed it and had no idea what it was, so he just tossed it into his cloud before flashing to Kaido's head.
Zeus grinned and said "Don't worry! I'm just gonna hurt you really, really, really bad!" Zeus grabbed the air next to him on both sides. Two Thunder Dragon spears appeared and the tips turned pitch black before he stabbed them into Kaido's head, cutting his scales and digging into his flesh.
Zeus nodded and said "How many volts can you take? Let's start with a million!" Zeus channeled a million volts right into Kaido's head and said "How about a billion?" the electricity exploded in Kaido's head and his body started writhing in pain, he couldn't speak anymore because Zeus took away his human fruit.
The rest of the prisoners only heard loud roars of pain and electricity crackling from the cell. They started trembling in fear, what kind of sick fuck comes and tortures people in here?!
An hour passed
Zeus looked down and said "Aiya! You're dead already? We haven't even started yet!" he mumbled to himself "Maybe I started off too high.." before shrugging, whatever the end result is the same.
He unlocked Kaido's chains and cuffs before blasting through the door and dragging his corpse by the horns, whistling as he went. The prisoners trembled and backed away in their cells, trying to get as far away from this psychopath as they could.
Magellan appeared and said "Zeus!" Zeus smiled and waved saying "Hey Magellan! What's up?" Magellan almost spit out blood, you just broke into my prison! What do you mean what's up?! Magellan recovered and said "What are you doing here?"
Zeus looked around and said "Shopping." Magellan was stunned and snapped "This isn't a market!" Zeus shrugged and Magellan finally said "What are you doing with Kaido?" Zeus pointed his thumb and said "He's dead. I heard dragon meat was good for pregnant women, so I came to get some.."
He paused and said "Do you want some? I guess I could spare a leg or two.." Magellan couldn't take it anymore and directly vomited a mouthful of blood, the rest of the prisoners all paled and fainted in fear, this guy! He really came here to shop! He's going to eat that dragon!
It was too much for them to process.
Zeus waved and said "Anyway, I gotta go. I'll see you later Magellan!" before dragging Kaido's corpse away. Magellan was too stunned to even stop him, this kid was definitely insane. He just killed an Emperor, just to eat him.
Magellan didn't know if it was cannibalism or not but he knew that he would've never thought of that. He immediately ran to his office and called HQ.
Zeus was flying leisurely in the air, behind him was a giant cloud with Kaido's rolled up corpse on it. He hummed happily, ready to be praised by his wives for being a good husband. He went out to get them premium dragon meat! What could be better?
Suddenly a snail started ringing
Zeus picked up the snail and said "Home of the Whopper, what's your beef?" Garps angry voice came over "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" before Zeus could answer another snail rang and Zeus said "Please hold." before answering the other snail "Abyss Mortuary. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em!"
Dragon's voice came over "What the fuck are you doing?!" Garp shouted "AND YOU ANSWERED DIFFERENTLY!" Dragon said "Dad?" Garp's voice sounded "You little brat! How's it going?" Dragon answered "Not too bad, you?" Garp sighed and said "You know, same old shit."
Zeus felt his mouth twitch and snapped "I'M NOT A FUCKING OPERATOR! You think this is a conference call?!" Garp said "I almost forgot about you!" Dragon finished "What are you breaking into Impel Down for?!"
Zeus waved and said "I've done it before. It's fun! Anyway, I went shopping." Garp snapped "SHOPPING?! You killed Kaido and you're going to eat him for real?!" Dragon was silent, he only knew Zeus broke into Impel Down, not what he did inside.
Zeus rolled his eyes and said "He's a dragon, not a person. His meat tastes good, plus I heard it was good for pregnant women." Garp almost spit out blood and Dragon was stunned, there was a silence before they both shouted "PREGNANT WOMEN?!"
Zeus nodded and said "Yeah, Persephone and Bonney are pregnant. Bonney's at like 4 months now and Persephone just got pregnant the other day. Apparently Dragon meat has a lot of healthy nutrients, so I went out to get some. Jeez, relax."
Garp and Dragon were silent before they both said quietly "She's been pregnant for 4 months and you didn't say anything?" Zeus started sweating and they both said "And there's another one?" Sweat dripped from Zeus' face as he said quickly "Catch me if you can you old farts!" before hanging up and throwing the snails in his cloud and shooting off towards Abyss Island extremely fast.
Zeus landed on Abyss Island and called for Daz. Daz showed up and Zeus grabbed him before flashing over to the Palace.
Zeus appeared in front of Riku and said "Hey! I got something to share with the citizens!" Riku was startled and Zeus whistled. The giant cloud floated down and placed Kaido's corpse on the plateau with a loud thud.
Immediately several other people flashed over and stared at the corpse in shock.
Riku said "A dragon!?" Zeus licked his lips and said "It's meat is really good! But I can only give you half!" Riku felt a bit dizzy and Lucci narrowed his eyes before saying "Isn't that..." Shiruton gasped and said "It's Kaido!"
Everyone other than Zeus was stunned. Zeus picked his ear and said "WAS Kaido. I killed him, now it's food. You're welcome, by the way." Riku almost turned white and said "That's an Emperor?!" Zeus sighed and said "MEAT! MEAT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"
The rest had wry smiles. This guy... What kind of monster is he? Going to hunt an Emperor just to eat him..
Zeus waved and said "Alright, alright. Fine, you won't get any! Hmph! Daz, slice 'im up!" Daz touched his nose and said "I'm a butcher today?" Zeus chuckled and said "Is there a problem?" Daz trembled and immediately sliced up Kaido's corpse.
Soon enough
There were two mountains of meat and a head.
Zeus looked at one pile and moved half to the other pile before throwing the arms and legs into the smaller pile and saying "You can have that half. I want the rest." Zeus had 60% of the meat, while Riku got 40%. Zeus also took the head.
A cloud flew over and lifted all the meat before flying away. Zeus patted Riku's shoulder and said "It's really good and I only ate it raw!" before walking away, Riku and the rest couldn't hold back and threw up.
Riku wiped his mouth and said "Distribute it to the citizens. Keep 30% of it in the palace, the rest will be given to everyone on the island." The guards took the meat and started distributing it to the citizens telling them it was legendary dragon meat, courtesy of Zeus. The citizens cheered and had a lively night, restaurants got a significantly larger portion and started selling the meat.
It might sound like a little but in reality, the 40% Zeus left Riku was enough to feed the entire island for at least 10 years! Each restaurant got 5% of the entire supply, it later was a delicacy on the Island. People had heard rumors that it was actually Kaido but they didn't believe it, no matter how strong Zeus was how could he kill an Emperor.
That's what they thought, unfortunately they were wrong.
Zeus returned to his residence with a bag full of dragon meat. He hummed to himself and went to the kitchen before starting to cook for Persephone and Bonney.
He served the meat and they ate it in relish. Bonney groaned and said "What is this! It's so good!" Persephone nodded and ate like it was her last meal. Zeus smiled and said "Dragon meat. Good for the babies." as he cut his steak and put it in his mouth, chewing with his eyes closed.
Persephone and Bonney froze and said "This... Did you.. Is it.." Zeus nodded and wiped his mouth as he said "It's Kaido." before continuing to eat happily, ready to be praised.
The praise didn't come.
What did come was a heavy slap.
Zeus wasn't expecting it and was confused. Bonney snapped "YOU COOKED A PERSON AND FED IT TO ME?!" Zeus said "He's a dragon, not a person! He was just an animal that ate a devil fruit! If you name a bear and then kill it are you not going to eat it? It's a waste to let it rot!"
Bonney was seething and Persephone giggled before going back to eating saying "It's pretty good!" Zeus sighed "Unfortunately your clothes didn't explode." Persephone choked before laughing "That's why! HAHAHAHAHA"
Zeus scratched his head and Bonney huffed and puffed before sitting back down and eating the meat, grumbling "Stupid bastard, you're not naming the baby..." Zeus' face turned ugly and he said "Why? I went out to get dragon meat! You know it was a very dangerous journey! I almost died!"
Bonney rolled her eyes and said "You went to Impel Down again? Last time you went, you walked out without an issue! What danger! You're just a big pervert!" Zeus was shocked and clicked his tongue before saying "Seems like you need to be punished tonight!"
Bonney immediately changed her tune and said sweetly "Aww Honey! You went all that way for us? You're the best husband! I love you~" she leaned over the table and kissed his lips before adding "And the most handsome too~" Zeus smiled and said "You really think so?"
Bonney nodded with crescent eyes and a warm smile.
Zeus scratched his neck and smiled happily, he hugged them both over the table and said seriously "I love you both so much.. I really can't imagine living without you both." he sighed and kissed both of them before letting them go and finishing his plate, washing it, and sitting in a chair to read the news paper.
Bonney and Persephone rubbed where Zeus kissed them with warm smiles, Bonney really wasn't lying. Though she was a bit irk'd by the meat choice but he did it all for them, plus he was right. Just because an animal has a name doesn't mean you can't eat it.
Persephone honestly believed Zeus was superman, everything he did was perfect. He even went to kill a Dragon just so that their babies could be healthy. He was so nice, she started to cry. She ran over and lunged at him crying "You're so good to meeeeeeee~"
Bonney smiled and walked over before sitting on his lap and leaning her head against his chest, while rubbing her stomach bump.
Zeus smiled and held them both, excited for the future.
(Author's Note)
HAHA bet you weren't expecting that! Also! If you want to start a FF wiki for my books that would be much appreciated! Also if someone can draw all 3 forms of Zeus, I will send you cookies (made by myself) straight to your house by mail!
You can check out my OTHER books while you wait:
One Piece: Another Chance (Completed)
Saiyan in Marvel (Completed)
My Hero Academia: Quirkless
One Piece: Price of Freedom
One Piece: Shadow King
Another Dragonball Adventure
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