Kapitel 29: Not So Sure, Anymore?

<<Francine>>

"This is the rest of the payment. I hope we're all cleared now."

The cashier smiled at me while furiously typing in her computer, entering the final amount of money.

"Yes, Charlie, we're clear."

I smiled, unconsciously giving her a nod and walking back home. Today, the hospital was pretty much quiet. Perhaps, it was because there were fewer patients in the hospital. Some relatives of patients stood in front of the OT, waiting patiently for the doctor to come out while some others were in the cafeteria, having a meal. The cafeteria was booked with doctors and visitors.

I decided I would order something for myself. My stomach grumbled in response. It had been a week since that not-date I had with Jeremiah and the date of our date ( I hope it made a little sense) was knocking at my door. We kept face-timing each other, talking and laughing late nights at every random thing possible. After that not-date that we had, I noticed some changes in me - or well, when Nicole came back - she did.

One of them was- I was smiling way too much.

Secondly - I had a strange sensation; Butterflies in my stomach.

And I had no clue why.

Nicole loved to say that it happened every time I heard Jeremiah's name - like his picture-perfect face would flash in front of me, his goofy smile, plus how his eyes twinkled when he talked about all the things he loved. The way his bed hair would cover up his forehead when he woke up and how cute he looked.

My lords, am I feeling butterflies again?

Walking over to the counter, I placed my order and then waited until they prepared my meal. Meanwhile, I scanned the cafeteria. It was buzzing with giggles and laughter - a lively atmosphere, indeed. One of the doctors even fell from the chair because of laughing but he got up on his feet.

But the butterflies feeling soon disappeared when I remembered why I was actually here. I wasn't supposed to be on dates. I was supposed to understand people and their sentiments better. Was I able to do this?

"Charlie Robinson!"

My head towards the direction of the voice - these days I didn't respond to being called Francine but rather Charlie. Although I didn't curse as much as Charlie, I still could make people believe that I was, indeed, Charlie.

Like that one time, when Nicole told Nurse Sophie that Charlie was learning manners.

Quite believable.

Nurse Sophie sauntered towards me - a cheerful smile on her face. She was a little shorter than I was so I had to look down. Both Charlie and I were taller than most ladies our age so that made it easier to play each other's characters well. Also, it was less distinguishable.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you meeting your daddy dearest? He has been asking about you for a week, now!"

Wait, should I be visiting Charlie's father?

I admit - I was not prepared for this.

But then again, Charlie met my father and has been dealing with the Prince of Scotland on my behalf. This was my chance to make it up to her. I had to meet with her father as she did for me, or else the entire plan would go in vain because of me. I did not want that.

"I will, I will. As soon as I am finished with my sandwich, that is." I spoke, in the same manner, Charlie would, rushing my words and making hand gestures to calm her down.

Nurse Sophie gave me a warning look, pointing a finger at me.

"You must,"

With that, she walked away, possibly to attend to the doctors' needs. After I was done with my chicken cheese sandwich ( my new favorite), I made a beeline towards Charlie's- I mean- my dad's cabin.

---

I was imagining every situation possible as I kept dragging my feet to my destination. Fear crawled down my spine, making my palms wet as well as my forehead. Even in such an air-conditioned hospital, I was sweating bullets. Until now, everyone bought the fact that I was Charlie and was practicing manners - trying to be a nice person. Right now, it was a whole different being I had to fool with my acting.

Charlie's father.

Even if my father could never have caught the act - due to his lack of observation skills- I wondered how Charlie's father would be like. I wasn't as confident about my acting skills as I was before I came here- living a normal life as an ordinary individual. I didn't know if I could fool him. Once, I read somewhere that parents knew their kids like the back of their hand. They knew how their kids' mannerisms were. With a sudden change of attitude that Mr. Robinson was going to face, I was sure that his parental instincts would kick in.

I stood in front of the door, peeking in through the glass to see Charlie's father eating soup. Now that I was already here, there was no turning back. I knew I had to face him once during my visit because Charlie was unable to and also because I was the one who was paying for all the bills. At least now, his chemotherapy would go smoothly without any hassle, and Charlie wouldn't have to listen to the nurse blabbering about how the bills were creating an obstacle for her father's well-being.

I turned the knob.

Mr. Robinson's gaze fell on me and his lips immediately curled into a wide smile. He placed the soup aside, opening his arms.

"C' mere, kiddo!"

I hesitated for a brief second before walking up to his bed and embracing him in a bear hug. Even if he was in a hospital, wearing a hospital gown - he didn't smell too bad for himself. He smelled nice.

I thought for a second how Charlie would react to her father using a perfume.

I raised an eyebrow, a smirk on my face. "Did someone buy a new perfume for himself?"

He laughed heartily, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes, raising his hands in defense. "Guilty as charged."

There was a certain charm to him. If I didn't know better, I wouldn't have ever pegged down that he was battling lung cancer. The kind of charm that was present in people who were well and healthy. Usually, the patients I saw every time I came by, were sick and tired and mostly depressed because their relatives didn't visit often and also because they were counting their days. This man, on the other hand, was a whole new person. It was surprising how I could read people by their appearances.

I sat on the stool, beside his bed, and smiled. "You sure look normal as hell. Someone's recovering."

He smiled back. "Of course I am kiddo. I need to be there to take over the reins of your life again."

My gut twisted at his words and all the blood drained out of my face as soon as the words left his mouth.

Watching the sudden change in my behavior, he laughed again. "I'm kidding! I wouldn't do that to you. You're free to live however you want, kiddo. I just wanna be a part of it. How could you not get my joke?"

My shoulders relaxed. That was a horrible joke! Do you have any idea what almost happened to me? I got a heart attack!

Almost Heart-attack.

But, still a heart-attack.

I shook my head. "Your jokes are always indistinguishable. Besides, normal parents do want to take the reins of their children's lives."

He retorted. "But I don't belong to the normal clan of parents, darling. I have my own kingdom."

I laughed. He surely knew how to make someone's day better.

We kept talking about the most random things with me sharing what happened in the last few days (excluding the not-date - because I was not so comfortable sharing it and besides, Charlie wouldn't have done it) and he shared what he did - other than just lying around in the bed and going through the torturous process of chemotherapy. He reminded me how once his long, dark curly hair was Charlie's favorite and reminisced everything that they did together.

"So, have you given my words a thought?"

What words?

"Which words, dad?"

"The perception one, have you changed your mind about falling in love?"

Tell me this: How aromantic was Charlie?

Brother was right. Charlie and I were just physical look-alikes, our personalities and perception were worlds apart. What was I supposed to tell him? That I love romance but your daughter didn't and I have no idea what she would say at this moment?

I wish I could say that.

"No, dad. I have not." I didn't think Charlie would have ever given this a thought, knowing that she wouldn't admit that a guy was hot even if her life depended on it. So, this was the best possible answer. This was like solving a multiple choice question - all the answers were so similar.

"Remember this kiddo. I have told you this once, I feel like I have to repeat it all over again," He sighed, taking one deep breath.

"It doesn't matter if you don't believe in love, for whatever reasons, anymore but destiny doesn't work that way. You will meet the one when it is written. Moreover, love never meets you at your best, it meets you at your worst."

---

The words hit me like a cyclone.

The words kept playing in my head all day - during work, and even during Nicole's long elaboration of her day. I couldn't help but repeat it. His words were true. I believed each word he spoke - what was not to believe?

He had experience in falling in love.

I didn't.

Neither did Charlie.

The one thing that separated us was the fact that -

I was open to falling in love.

She wasn't.

Falling in love was equivalent to getting high on cocaine. It was as if the person in love always wanted more and was never satisfied. The feelings that one felt was indescribable - one reason why it was still a mystery because people who fell in love described it differently. I never saw my parents being all 'lovey-dovey' - as the commoners said - because it was arranged and it was only to increase the strength of the two kingdoms.

He was going to do the same for me and my brother. We were both supposed to be engaged to our respective partners in almost a few months now. Now that I thought about it, I didn't know what to do. Everything in front of me blurred and the once clear future turned into nothingness.

A few months back, I was sure I just wanted to live a normal life.

Now I wasn't so sure anymore.